Archive for the ‘misstatements’ Tag

01/01/2026 “MALAPROPS”   Leave a comment

I’ve noticed in recent years that many people are questioning the value of a college education. I agree with that but not entirely. If you’re majoring in a useful subject that will help improve your life and that of society – DO IT! If your majoring in some lame-ass course that teaches you to spot acne forming on the asses of transgendered people – JUST STAY HOME. I’m a college grad who majored in Design and Commercial Art and I’ve never held any job even remotely related to it. Todays blog entry is proof that college degrees and college education are only as good as the student permits them to be. These items are called “malaprops” (meaning “inappropriate”) misstatements taken from actual high school and college exam papers. Sadly, they’re all true. Read on …..

  • Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy.
  • Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.
  • Pharoah forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw.
  • Moses led them to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
  • Christmas is a time for happiness for every child, adult, and adulteress.

  • Good punctuation means not to be late.
  • Don’t is a contraption.
  • Adam and Eve wore nothing but figments.
  • Columbus discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic.
  • The first book of the Bible is the book of Guinesses.

And last but not least My Fav.

If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, a proverb is a pronoun used in place of a verb.

❤️❤️❤️

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07/20/2023 “Malaprops”   3 comments

Malaprop

The mistaken use of a word in place of a similar sounding one, often with unintentionally

amusing effect, as in, for example, “dance a flamingo” (instead of flamenco).

Today’s posting will be a shout out to all of those educators that spend so much of their time attempting to teach our younger generations anything. It’s a difficult job on the good days and it’s even worse on the bad days. I thought I’d list a selection of what are called malaprops taken from actual test papers and essays from some grade schoolers, high schoolers, and selected college examinations. These are things of beauty.

  • Women like to do things in circles, where they sew, talk, and do their meddling.
  • “Don’t” is a contraption.
  • Italics are what Italians write in.
  • The government of Athens was Democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.
  • Antarctica is like the regular Arctic, but ritzier.

  • He worked in the government as a civil serpent.
  • You purify water by filtering it and then forcing it through an aviator.
  • The doctor felt the man’s purse and said there was no hope.
  • The government of England is a limited mockery.
  • The first book of the Bible is a book of Guinness’s.

“IT IS BEYOND MY APPREHENSION.”