12-31-2012   1 comment

Last year at this time I decided to really and truly live up to and complete a list of ten New Year’s resolutions.  Being the serious person that I am (no laughter please), I thought that if I created a more realistic list of things I just might accomplish them.  If you read this blog recently you discovered that I successfully completed only five of my ten resolutions in 2012. I consider that a dismal failure.

I now will again promise to try harder in this coming year to meet and hopefully exceed my own expectations. As I stand here hanging my head in shame I propose this new list for 2013.

1.   Don’t wear sweat pants outside the confines of the house less than twice a week (demanded by my better-half).

2.   Pay less than $75.00 a month at Dunkin Donuts. I failed at the $50.00 level, now I’ll just up the monthly amount and hopefully be successful.

3.   Tell my better-half I love her at least twenty times a day (again her idea).

4.   Attempt to develop a casual and platonic friendship with my weird neighbors.

5.   Convince my better-half that pizza is not an official food group and refuse to eat it more than once a week.

6.   Don’t call the President a stupid, effing, liberal, socialist, narcissistic A-hole  more than twenty times a week.

7.   Read 3 non-fiction and 3 fiction books a month.

8.   Fire at least 1000 rounds of ammo a quarter to fine tune my shooting skills to prepare for the impending anarchism which will follow.

9.  Take a vacation to some exotic and strange non-American land (like maybe Boston, New York, San Francisco, or LA).

10.  Refuse to eat dog food more than three times a month to help pay for my mandated Obamacare taxes.

It’s now a wait and see game.  I’ll  post the results again next December and hope for the best.

Posted January 1, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor

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One response to “12-31-2012

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  1. A little tame for you don’t you think?! Not to worry…I still love you. Happy New Year darling!

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