Now that Labor Day has come and gone, we can all kick back, relax, and wait for the Fall foliage, then snow, and of course the string of holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas, New Years Eve and finally New Years Day. I’m exhausted already from just listing them all. Maybe I’m overdue for a two-month vacation to any remote island filled with topless native girls, beach feasts, and lots of grog and margaritas. But since that’s not happening how about we kick off the Fall season with a few “G” rated limericks.

My laptop, with skill and finesse,

has a brain that can beat me at chess.

But with no arms or body,

it stinks at karate.

Now please help me clean up this mess.

💥

I met a young spider named Deb,

who’s become quite a singing celeb.

When I asked how she’d grown

to be so well known,

she replied, “I’m all over the web!”

💥💥

Mom said our dog’s part retriever,

part collie, part badger and beaver,

and part German Shepherd,

part penguin, part leopard.

I’m nor sure if I should believe her.

💥💥💥

Biking, Mackensie once rode

down a street – heard a “pop” – and she slowed.

In discovering that

her front ire was flat,

she said, “Must have been that fork in the road!”

💥💥💥💥

SPECIAL THANKS TO BRIAN P. CLEARY