Today I’m going to make this post quick and simple. Here are five moderately bawdy limericks from our recent past. They’re rated PG-13 due to some of the sexual content but I edited some of the harsher foul language so as not to have it too disgusting. Enjoy.

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There was a young man from Perdue,
Who was only just learning to screw.
But he hadn’t the knack,
And got too far back-
In the right church, but in the wrong pew!

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There was an old fellow named Hewing
Whose poor heart stopped while he was screwing.
He gasped: “Really, Miss,
Don’t feel bad about this-
There is nothing I’d rather die doing!”

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There was a young fellow named Menzies
Who’s kissing sent girls into frenzies.
But a virgin, one night,
Crossed her legs in a fright,
And fractured his bifocal lenzies.

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A pretty young lady named Flo
Said:” I hate to be had in the snow.
While I’m normally hot,
In this spot I am not-
So, as soon as you come Joe, let’s go!”

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There was an old fellow named Bill,
Who swallowed an atomic pill.
His naval corroded,
His asshole exploded,
And they found both his nuts in Brazil.

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I LOVE THIS POETRY!