Author Archive
😝Stupid Headline😝 Leave a comment
01/19/2022 💫Quote of the Day💫 Leave a comment
“Let us leave the beautiful women to
men with no imagination.”
Marcel Proust:-) 1925
Valentin Louis Georges Eugène Marcel Proust
was a French novelist, critic, and essayist who
wrote the monumental novel In Search of Lost Time.
01/18/2022 History in Limericks Leave a comment
Just what you’ve all been clamoring for – more limericks. I made a lucky discovery a few weeks ago when I purchased a book containing 1700 limericks dated between 1810 and 1950. Instead of printing a few here and there I decided to pick a few selections from each decade. They’ll give us a good flavor of the times in which they were written. Many are crass and bawdy and there’s a host of them from the war years in the 1940’s. Just a warning . . . some of these are not for children or anyone whose overly religious or just plain naive. Let’s get to it . . .
There was a young girl in Berlin
Who was fucked by an elderly Finn.
Though he diddled his best,
And fucked her with zest,
She kept asking, “Hey, Pop, is it in?” 1927
Winter is here with his grouch,
The time when you sneeze and you slouch.
You can’t take you’re women
Canoe’in or swimm’in,
But a lot can be done on a couch. 1927
There was a young man named Hughs
Who swore off all kinds of booze,
He said,”When I’m muddled
My senses get fuddled,
And I pass up too many screws.” 1926
There was a young plumber of Leigh
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea.
She said,”Stop your plumbing,
There’s somebody coming!”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It’s me.” 1923
There was a young lady named May
Who strolled in a park by the way,
And she met a young man
Who fucked her and ran,
Now she goes to the park every day. 1924
What do you think? It seems the same sense of humor required to write limericks doesn’t change much from one generation to another.
Thank God!
01/17/2022 Women’s Words Leave a comment
I thought it was time to recognize the fairer sex. As you well know I love posting quotations, but I’ve come to realize that most quotations are attributed to men. I know for a fact that women have important thoughts on every subject, but I almost never see them published anywhere. Today I’ll be sending you quotes made by women about men. It should be interesting . . .
- “The more I see of men, the better I like dogs.” Marie-Jeanne Roland 1754-1793
- “Men have had the advantage of us and telling their own story. Education has been theirs insomuch higher a degree; the pen has been in their hands.” Jane Austen 1775-1817
- “A gentleman opposed to their enfranchisement once said to me, “Women have never produced anything of any value in the world.” I told him the chief product of the women had been the men and left it to him to decide whether the product was of any value.” Anna Howard Shaw 1847-1919
- “Intense love is often akin to intense suffering.” Francis Ellen Watkins Harper 1825-1911
- “Passion always goes, and boredom stays. Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel 1883-1971
- “I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.” Susan B Anthony 1820-1906
- “I do not want a husband who honours me as a queen, if he does not love me as a woman.” Elizabeth I 1533-1603
This will be the first installment of quotes by women. I have many more available and will pass them on periodically because some of them are truly profound. For my friend in Romania many thanks for prodding me to do the required research. I appreciate it.
“YOU ARE ICE AND FIRE”
01/16/2022 🚙Bumper Sticker🚙 Leave a comment
01/16/2022 🎆Quote of the Day🎆 Leave a comment
Leonardo da Vinci was a true genius who graced this world with his presence from April 15, 1452, to May 2, 1519. He is among the most influential artists in history, having left a significant legacy not only in the realm of art but in science as well, each discipline informing his mastery of the other.
“Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and
poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.”
Leonardo da Vinci 1519
01/15/2022 The Human Body 1 comment
After my last two years of medical issues and treatments, I consider myself something of an expert on my own body. I thought I knew all I needed to know but once again I was mistaken. Here are a few really interesting tidbits that will blow your mind. Even you former and current medical professionals, you know who you are. Here we go . . .
- On average there are approximately 75,000,000,000,000 (trillion) cells in the human body.
- There are ten times as many bacteria cells living in your gut (750 trillion).
- Sixty percent of the solids in your poo are made up of bacteria from your gut.
- There are about 100 billion nerve cells in the adult human brain, but 10 times as many support cells to look after them.
- Adults lose on average, about 100,000 nerve cells from their brain every day. Over the course of a lifetime this adds up to losing about 7% of the brain.
- Your heart beats approximately 100,000 times a day without rest for an entire lifetime – that’s more than 2.5 billion beats in your life.
- Laid end to end, a child’s blood vessels would stretch for over 60,000 miles: and adults for 100,000 miles – that’s four times around the Equator.
- The blood of an adult male contains more than 25 trillion cells.
- An average red blood cell lives for only 120 days. During this time, it will travel 300 miles on its journey round and round the body.
- The average male produces 50,000 sperm per minute – that’s 72 million per day. A single male ejaculation contains 200 million sperm – theoretically enough to generate a combined population of Britain, France, and Germany.
- Each sperm leaving the penis travels at 8000 body lengths per second, equivalent to a human swimming at 34,000 miles per hour.
- Over the course of three years almost every cell in your body will have been replaced by new ones, making you literally a different person to who you were two years ago.
- One square inch of human skin has 19 million cells, 60 hairs, 90 oil glands, 19 feet of blood vessels, and 625 sweat glands.
- Fingernails grow twice to four times as fast as toenails and the nail on the middle finger grows the fastest.
- If you lose a toenail, it will take approximately six months to grow back completely.
I actually love all of these bizarre facts that are available about the human body. I’m just as glad that I found out late in life about all this nonsense because it would have freaked me out a bit in my younger years. I’m just so happy that I get to share it with all of you and if you’re really lucky you might be able to win a few Trivia Night Contests at your local tavern. Have one for me while you’re there.
LOVE YOUR BODY & OTHERS IF NECESSARY
😘Ciardi Limericks😘 Leave a comment
Everyone who’s ever read this blog for more than a day or two, knows just how much I love limericks. I like them funny, dirty, and filthy. I’ve been collecting them for many years but in a recent book I discovered a gentleman named John Ciardi. He was the second half of the book of limericks authored by Isaac Asimov. They were both lovers of limericks and have written some of the best ones I’ve ever seen. I posted samples of Asimov’s limericks a few weeks ago and today I thought I’d list a few of Mr. Ciardi’s. I know you’ll enjoy them because he takes a lot of time to craft them properly. Here we go . . .
There was a young lady who wouldn’t.
Her mother had told her she shouldn’t.
When dear mama died
She felt free. So, she tried,
but by then she was so old she couldn’t.
There once was a girl from New Haven
Whose pubic hair was not shaven
But missing because
She slept without drawers
Within range of a nest building Raven
There was a young lady named Jo❤
Who always said,” Thank you, but no,”
Which is poised and polite
But never does quite
As well as “Sure, Buster, let’s go.”
😜😜😜
A young do-it-yourselfer once screwed
Two pieces together. If you’d
Like to know what he made,
You must ask Adelaide
And her little sister, Gertrude
🚽🚽🚽
There was an old hooker who blew.
What I mean is, she left town. If you
Understood what I said
To mean she gave head,
Well, I guess there was some of that, too.
I would like to thank Mr. Ciardi for all of his hard work in creating these wonderful limericks. After reading all of his limericks as well as Isaac Asimov’s, it inspires me to begin writing a few of my own again. You can be sure of only one thing, mine will be a little ruder than theirs. Write a few of your own and send them along.
ALWAYS KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR
01/13/2022 New Year Trivia 2 comments
Now that the holidays are behind us, it’s time to get rolling with trivia for 2022. I decided to restock my archives with some new and exciting trivia. I’ve been trolling the web and found 6 additional books with highly interesting, weird and strange trivia items. Let’s start with these fifteen to get this year’s started.
- The German submarine, U-1206, sank in 1945 when it’s toilet was operated improperly.
- Around 1 million gladiators lost their lives in the arena.
- Nearly 1,500 different types of insects are eaten around the world.
- Surgeons were drilling holes in people’s skulls in 6,000 B.C.
- U.S. magician, Dorothy Dietrich, is the only woman to catch a fired bullet between her teeth.
- The Bombardier beetle pelts enemies with a boiling, foul smelling liquid.
- A Siamese cat in Russia weighed an astonishing 50 lbs. – the average weight of a 7-year-old girl.
- In 1894, a shower of jellyfish fell on the city of Bath in England.
- The last witch was burned in England in 1712.
- Every day you shed around 500 million skin scales, 10 million of which carry bacteria.
- Male vampire moths drill a feeding tube into human skin in order to suck up blood.
- An earthworm excretes the equivalent of its body weight every day.
- Three cyclists have died while competing in the Tour De France.
- Tonsilloliths are small, yellow, foul smelling “stones” that live around the tonsils and cause bad breath.
- Most people pass around 600 ml of gas a day in 14 farts.
I took it easy on you with these items. A have a host of others which are a bit more disgusting. I’ll send them along at a later date. Here’s an item concerning political correctness at its very best:
Roman Emperor Claudius (10 BC to AD 54) was said to have been so worried about people politely holding in their farts and being poisoned by them that he passed a law legalizing farting at feasts.
everyuselessthing.com 