Archive for the ‘fart’ Tag

01/13/2022 New Year Trivia   2 comments

Now that the holidays are behind us, it’s time to get rolling with trivia for 2022. I decided to restock my archives with some new and exciting trivia. I’ve been trolling the web and found 6 additional books with highly interesting, weird and strange trivia items. Let’s start with these fifteen to get this year’s started.

  • The German submarine, U-1206, sank in 1945 when it’s toilet was operated improperly.
  • Around 1 million gladiators lost their lives in the arena.
  • Nearly 1,500 different types of insects are eaten around the world.
  • Surgeons were drilling holes in people’s skulls in 6,000 B.C.
  • U.S. magician, Dorothy Dietrich, is the only woman to catch a fired bullet between her teeth.
  • The Bombardier beetle pelts enemies with a boiling, foul smelling liquid.
  • A Siamese cat in Russia weighed an astonishing 50 lbs. – the average weight of a 7-year-old girl.
  • In 1894, a shower of jellyfish fell on the city of Bath in England.
  • The last witch was burned in England in 1712.
  • Every day you shed around 500 million skin scales, 10 million of which carry bacteria.
  • Male vampire moths drill a feeding tube into human skin in order to suck up blood.
  • An earthworm excretes the equivalent of its body weight every day.
  • Three cyclists have died while competing in the Tour De France.
  • Tonsilloliths are small, yellow, foul smelling “stones” that live around the tonsils and cause bad breath.
  • Most people pass around 600 ml of gas a day in 14 farts.

I took it easy on you with these items. A have a host of others which are a bit more disgusting. I’ll send them along at a later date. Here’s an item concerning political correctness at its very best:

Roman Emperor Claudius (10 BC to AD 54) was said to have been so worried about people politely holding in their farts and being poisoned by them that he passed a law legalizing farting at feasts.

GOTTA LOVE THEM ROMANS

10/01/2021 Karma Can Be Brutal!   Leave a comment

It seems that everyone finds a great deal of humor in the smells and sounds of human bodily functions. I’m not exactly sure why it’s so damn funny but it really is. Anyone who tells me that they don’t see the humor in it is either lying or absolutely clueless.

It all started for me as a small child. Early on my father taught me the real meaning of the term “smell my finger” and believe me it’s a lesson not soon forgotten. Another of his favorites was “pull my finger” which normally resulted in a loud, disgusting, and eye watering fart. My dad wasn’t the least bit shy and would even pull stunts on my friends who were visiting. At first it was embarrassing but I soon learned to appreciate the humor as long as he was doing his thing to someone else.

Every young boy I knew took pleasure in grossing out their friends at every opportunity. School bus farting contests were our favorite because it involved grossing out the girls as well as the bus driver. We couldn’t pass that up.

Another practice was to burp as loudly as you could during a quiet study hall and then place the blame on someone else. My friend Dick had an almost supernatural ability to burp and throw his voice like a ventriloquist. He’d make a cute girl nearby turn cherry red when everyone thought she was the culprit. I hate to admit it but it was an uncanny talent that he used often and well into adulthood.

Church was the best place to maximize our unusual talents. All those prim and proper parents with their well behaved children being oh so pious. Nothing would crack us up like two rows of God-fearing Catholics smelling an SBD (Silent But Deadly) that was so bad it would curl their nose hairs. You have to realize how much acting talent and restraint it takes to appear shocked and disgusted and still be laughing like crazy on the inside. It actually made church bearable for those of us who were only there for the fun.

The other church related scene was in the confessional during confession. It did my heart good to confess my sins, say an Act of Contrition, and then leave a nasty smelling fart for the next sinner and secondarily grossing out the priest as well. Aren’t old memories the best?

I suppose you’re wondering what prompted this entire conversation. Well I was in Walgreens recently, masked as usual and minding my own business while shopping. As I walked into the rear of the store in a back corner I passed two young ladies who couldn’t have been more than 13 years old. They were laughing and giggling as most young kids do and were just as cute as a button. It was only a few seconds later I discovered why they were laughing so hard. I walked into a cloud of the worst smelling methane in history. I normally have a strong stomach but this was almost more than I can handle. I stood there trying to catch my breath while they stood nearby laughing hysterically. They ran off giggling all the way while I took a moment or two to regain my composure. Karmic paybacks really are a bitch. That damn mask might stop Covid-19 but not farts like these.

KARMA WILL GET YOU IF YOU DON’T WATCH OUT

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