Archive for the ‘isaac azimov’ Tag

😘Ciardi Limericks😘   4 comments

Everyone who’s ever read this blog for more than a day or two, knows just how much I love limericks. I like them funny, dirty, and filthy. I’ve been collecting them for many years but in a recent book I discovered a gentleman named John Ciardi. He was the second half of the book of limericks authored by Isaac Asimov. They were both lovers of limericks and have written some of the best ones I’ve ever seen. I posted samples of Asimov’s limericks a few weeks ago and today I thought I’d list a few of Mr. Ciardi’s. I know you’ll enjoy them because he takes a lot of time to craft them properly. Here we go . . .

There was a young lady who wouldn’t.

Her mother had told her she shouldn’t.

When dear mama died

She felt free. So, she tried,

but by then she was so old she couldn’t.

There once was a girl from New Haven

Whose pubic hair was not shaven

But missing because

She slept without drawers

Within range of a nest building Raven

There was a young lady named Jo❤

Who always said,” Thank you, but no,”

Which is poised and polite

But never does quite

As well as “Sure, Buster, let’s go.”

😜😜😜

A young do-it-yourselfer once screwed

Two pieces together. If you’d

Like to know what he made,

You must ask Adelaide

And her little sister, Gertrude

🚽🚽🚽

There was an old hooker who blew.

What I mean is, she left town. If you

Understood what I said

To mean she gave head,

Well, I guess there was some of that, too.

I would like to thank Mr. Ciardi for all of his hard work in creating these wonderful limericks. After reading all of his limericks as well as Isaac Asimov’s, it inspires me to begin writing a few of my own again. You can be sure of only one thing, mine will be a little ruder than theirs. Write a few of your own and send them along.

ALWAYS KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR

12/27/2021 Limericks by Azimov   5 comments

With Christmas now in my rear-view mirror, I can get ready for the coming New Year holiday and celebrations. I won’t be out-and-about myself, but I will have a toast at midnight with my better-half. That being said let me move onto something else that I happen to enjoy, limericks and Isaac Azimov.

I have always been a huge fan of Isaac Asimov. I’ve been reading his novels and articles for most of my adult life. Fortunately for me most of them are science fiction which is my absolute favorite material to read. Asimov was one of the most prolific writers in history. If I recall correctly, he wrote more than 200 novels and thousands upon thousands of novelettes, short stories, and articles in many areas of study. In short, he was amazing.

It wasn’t until 10 years ago that I discovered that one of his hobbies was writing rude and bawdy limericks. After finding that out, I was determined to obtain some of his limericks. I found a thrift bookstore online and after some searching through their inventory discovered a book published in 1978 that contained dozens and dozens of limericks by Azimov and his friend John Ciardi. The book is split into two sections, limericks by Asimov, and the other half are limericks by John Ciardi. It’s a battle of the limerick monsters and makes for some really enjoyable and hilarious reading. I’ll offer up for your entertainment today four of Asimov’s more sexy limericks. I hope you enjoy them because I sure did.

😁😁😁

Sex need not be at all conversational,

Without talking, it’s still inspirational.

But mind you’re not burned

For many have learned

The act can be baby-creational

😜😜😜

Said the husband, with smiling urbanity,

I possess penile super humanity.”

Said his wife,” But the score

Of his inches is four.

The rest of it’s just his insanity.”

😉😉😉

There was a young woman named Cora Lee

Who said,” I will do it immorally

On top and on bottom,

Any way that I’ve got’em,

Vaginally, anally, orally.”

❤❤❤

There once was an eager young nurse

Who felt that she had to rehearse

Every sexual joy,

Every hot little ploy,

To succeed in becoming perverse.

What better way to prepare for New Year’s than a few raunchy limericks? There’ll be many more to come in the new year.

2022 IS COMING – HELP! HELP! HELP!

03-08-2013   4 comments

As I promised a week or so ago, if I found any interesting tidbits of useless information and trivia, I would pass them along to you. I have a few here that are obscure, a little strange, but as best I can determine accurate. Read them and remember them because you never know when you might get caught up in a vicious game of Trivial Pursuit. A number of these items were researched by the late great Isaac Asimov. He was one of the smartest men alive in his day and had a habit of collecting and researching odd tidbits of information. Enjoy!

  • Drilling an oil well 5 miles deep requires drilling night and day, seven days a week, for as long as 500 days.
  • The total population of the earth at the time of Julius Caesar was 150 million. The total population increase in two years on earth today is 150 million.
  • During the next minute, 100 people will die 240 will be born. The world’s population problem increases by a 140 people per minute.
  • Many years ago a Harvard student on his way home to visit his parents fell between two railroad cars at the station in Jersey City, New Jersey, and was rescued by an actor on his way to visit his sister in Philadelphia. The student was Robert Lincoln, heading for 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The actor was Edwin Booth the brother of the man who a few weeks later would murder the students father.
  • There are 2,500,000 rivets in the Eiffel Tower.
  • There is a salt mine in the Polish town of Wieliczka, near Cracow, that has been in operation for nearly 1000 years.
  • While Columbus was seeking new worlds to the West, Italian engineers were rebuilding the Kremlin in Moscow.
  • There are more than 100 distinct ethnic groups in the Soviet Union.
  • Every cubic mile of seawater holds over 150,000,000 tons of minerals. There are 350,000,000 cubic miles of seawater on the planet.
  • It was proposed in the Rhode Island legislature in the 1970’s that there be enacted a two dollar tax on every act of sexual intercourse.
  • Morocco was the first country to officially recognize the United States in 1789.
  • Some Eskimos use refrigerators to keep their food from freezing.
  • In 1978, more than 1000 deer were accidentally killed in Connecticut by automobile drivers. Only 948 were killed by hunters.

Well there you have it.  More useless information for you to cram into your brain so you can amaze your friends and family and possibly win a few bar bets.  More to come I’m sure.

%d bloggers like this: