Archive for the ‘rated r’ Tag

03/03/2022 ๐Ÿ’คLimerick Alert๐Ÿ’ค   3 comments

I’m sending these rather bawdy limericks along after receiving a few requests for a raunchier selection. I’m nothing if not a people pleaser, so here they are. That’s right, you know who you are!!

A fair-haired young damsel named Grace

Thought it very, very foolish to place

Her hand on your cock

When it turned hard as a rock,

For fear it would explode in her face.

๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž

An innocent boy from Lapland

Was told that fucking was grand.

But at his first trial

He said with a smile,

“I’ve had the same feeling by hand.”

๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹

A nymphomaniacal Italian nurse

With a curse that was worse than perverse

She stuck a rotary drill

Up her twat, for a thrill . . .

And they carted her off in a hearse.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

There once was a young man of Savannah,

Who met his end in a curious manner.

He diddled a hole

In a telephone pole

And electrified his banana.

๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ

Under the spreading chestnut tree

The village smithy he sat,

Amusing himself

By abusing himself

And catching the load in his hat.

01/18/2022 History in Limericks   Leave a comment

Just what you’ve all been clamoring for – more limericks. I made a lucky discovery a few weeks ago when I purchased a book containing 1700 limericks dated between 1810 and 1950. Instead of printing a few here and there I decided to pick a few selections from each decade. They’ll give us a good flavor of the times in which they were written. Many are crass and bawdy and there’s a host of them from the war years in the 1940’s. Just a warning . . . some of these are not for children or anyone whose overly religious or just plain naive. Let’s get to it . . .

There was a young girl in Berlin

Who was fucked by an elderly Finn.

Though he diddled his best,

And fucked her with zest,

She kept asking, “Hey, Pop, is it in?” 1927

Winter is here with his grouch,

The time when you sneeze and you slouch.

You can’t take you’re women

Canoe’in or swimm’in,

But a lot can be done on a couch. 1927

There was a young man named Hughs

Who swore off all kinds of booze,

He said,”When I’m muddled

My senses get fuddled,

And I pass up too many screws.” 1926

There was a young plumber of Leigh

Who was plumbing a girl by the sea.

She said,”Stop your plumbing,

There’s somebody coming!”

Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It’s me.” 1923

There was a young lady named May

Who strolled in a park by the way,

And she met a young man

Who fucked her and ran,

Now she goes to the park every day. 1924

What do you think? It seems the same sense of humor required to write limericks doesn’t change much from one generation to another.

Thank God!

๐Ÿ†Limerick Alert๐Ÿ†   7 comments

While undressing a nurse named JV,

Her seducer observed: “So I see

That a nipple a day

Keeps the doctor away,

Think how healthy these two must be!”

11/17/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a young fellow, from Florida,

Who liked a friends wife, so he borrowed her;

When they jumped into bed,

He cried: “God! Strike me dead!

This isn’t a vagina – it’s a corridor!”

Posted November 3, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

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