A few days ago, I was digging around in the garage and going through some old boxes of what I thought were useless items. I came upon a book that was printed in 1985 which contained a host of one-liner raunchy jokes along with a few truly stupid riddles. Since a few of my family members continue to mumble and grumble about some of the so-called tasteless limericks I post, let’s see what they think about a few of these “oldies but goodies”.

• What happens if a guaranteed condom breaks? The guarantee runs out!

• How do dogs make love? Everybody nose!

• Why did they name the new feminine hygiene spray ” S.S.Y.”? Because it takes the “PU” out of pussy!

• Why did Donald Duck divorce Daisy? Her quack was too big!

• What’s better than watching a girl wrestle? Seeing her box!

• What’s a French chastity belt? A catcher’s mask!

• Who’s the world’s greatest athlete? A guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest!

• What’s the definition of a lady? Someone who doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, and only curses when it slips out!

• Why did the Greek take his wife on his business trip? Because he couldn’t leave her behind alone!

• What’s the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a skinny girl? A counterfeit dollar bill is a phony buck!

Well, there you have ten of some of the worst jokes I’ve ever heard. Everybody’s always saying how much they loved the “good old days”, but not me. I think it’s time to take this book and put it back in the box in the garage and hopefully in ten more years maybe it will be funny, but I doubt it.

1981 Bumper Sticker

DID JOHN SMITH POCAHONTAS?