I can’t tell you how many times in my life that I’ve been assured by so-called experts that things were good and ten minutes later another so-called expert is screaming “doom and gloom”, it’s damn confusing. It’s amazes me how many experts or so-called experts exist especially when discussing sports. Let’s look into sports a little and listen to the real experts.

BASEBALL

• “If Jesus were on the field he’d be pitching inside and breaking up double plays. He’d be giving high fives to the other guys.” Tim Burke, Montréal Expos pitcher

• “They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.” Tito Fuentes, National League infielder

• “I am a four-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.” Mike Greenwell, Boston Red Sox outfielder

FOOTBALL

• “Man, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.” Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

• “I don’t care what the tape says. I didn’t say it.” Ray Malavasi, St. Louis Rams coach

• “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” Joe Theismann, player/commentator

BASKETBALL

• “Left-hand, right-hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.” Charles Shackleford, North Carolina State player

• “I have won at every level, except college and pro.” Shaquille O’Neal, former Los Angeles Laker player

• “A lot is said about defense, but at the end of the game, the team with the most points wins- the other team loses.” Isaiah Thomas

SOCCER

• “If we play like that every week, we wouldn’t be so inconsistent.” Bryan Robeson

• “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” Unnamed senior, University of Pittsburgh

• “What I said to them at halftime would be unprintable on the radio.” Gerry Francis

• “He’s one of those footballers whose brains are in his head.” Derek Johnstone

YOU KNOW, I THINK I’M AN EXPERT TOO!