Archive for the ‘baseball’ Tag

01/17/2023 🏀Sports Limerick Alert🏈   Leave a comment

I’m getting a late start today due primarily to my better-half and her shopping safari. I also just have to mention that wicked and evil nurse who sucked six tubes of blood from me earlier. Truthfully having the blood drawn was way less painful than being the assistant to the shopping fanatic.

All I’ve been hearing for the last few days is football, football, and more football. While I am a fan, it’s becoming a bit much even for me. Today’s limericks are sports related but I’m an equal opportunity spreader of humor. I’ll try for a few that aren’t about football.

⚾⚾⚾

BASEBALL

A batter named Fatty McPhatter,

Had the gift of the gab with his patter.

“Whichever pitch comes,

I hit only home runs –

So, the fact that I’m fat doesn’t matter!”

⚾⚾⚾

The slider just slid past the bag,

And the curveball? Too flat to get at.

The pitcher’s last ball

Was his fastest fastball.

So, I’m three-strikes-and-out. And that’s that.

⛳⛳⛳

GOLF

Golf is a four-letter word.

For a game that is clearly absurd.

Unless what you like

Is a long boring hike,

Dressed up like a half-witted nerd.

⛳⛳⛳

They say that ex-president Taft,

When hit by a golf ball, just laughed,

And said: “I’m not sore,

But although he called “Fore!”

The place where it struck him was aft!

HAPPY NO EFF’ING FOOTBALL TUESDAY

01/15/2023 🏈🏈Hilarious Sports Quotes”🏈🏈   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve had my fun with statements made by baseball players, football players, and basketball players. Just to be fair I thought today would be a good day for some ridiculous statements from an assortment of other sports to include some of their genius sportscasters and their pearls of wisdom.

  • And he’s got the ice pack on his groin him there, so it’s possibly not the old shoulder injury. -Ray French, rugby sportscaster
  • Venezuela! Great, that’s the Italian city with the guys in the boats, right? -Murad Muhammad, on being told about a boxing match in South America
  • And for those of you watching on black-and-white, the pink ball is the one behind the blue. -TV billiards commentator
  • I don’t want to tell you any half-truths unless they’re completely accurate. -Dennis Rapoport, boxing manager
  • It’s about 90% strength and 40% technique. -Johnny Walker, world middleweight wrist wrestling champion

🏀🏀🏀

  • Cycling is a good thing for the youngsters, because it keeps them off the streets. -Daniel Mean, commentator
  • It’s a catch he would’ve caught 99 times out of 1000. -Henry Blofeld
  • I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost. -Frank Bruno, boxer
  • The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. -Murray Walker
  • There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious. -Alan Minter, former prizefighter

⚽⚽⚽

  • We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other. -Barry Back, New York Ranger, explaining a championship game brawl
  • If I wasn’t talking, I wouldn’t know what to say. -Chico Resch, New York Islanders goalie
  • He called me a rapist and a recluse. I’m not a recluse. -Mike Tyson, boxer
  • On what? -boxer Chris Eubank, when asked whether he thought about writing his autobiography.
  • It’s basically the same, just darker. -Alan Kulwicki, Stock-car racer, on racing at night instead of during the afternoon

⚾⚾⚾

ENJOY YOUR WILDCARD SUNDAY

Next Year!!!

11/05/2022 “Sports Experts”   Leave a comment

I can’t tell you how many times in my life that I’ve been assured by so-called experts that things were good and ten minutes later another so-called expert is screaming “doom and gloom”, it’s damn confusing. It’s amazes me how many experts or so-called experts exist especially when discussing sports. Let’s look into sports a little and listen to the real experts.

BASEBALL

  • “If Jesus were on the field he’d be pitching inside and breaking up double plays. He’d be giving high fives to the other guys.” Tim Burke, Montréal Expos pitcher
  • “They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.” Tito Fuentes, National League infielder
  • “I am a four-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.” Mike Greenwell, Boston Red Sox outfielder

FOOTBALL

  • “Man, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.” Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
  • “I don’t care what the tape says. I didn’t say it.” Ray Malavasi, St. Louis Rams coach
  • “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” Joe Theismann, player/commentator

BASKETBALL

  • “Left-hand, right-hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.” Charles Shackleford, North Carolina State player
  • “I have won at every level, except college and pro.” Shaquille O’Neal, former Los Angeles Laker player
  • “A lot is said about defense, but at the end of the game, the team with the most points wins- the other team loses.” Isaiah Thomas

SOCCER

  • “If we play like that every week, we wouldn’t be so inconsistent.” Bryan Robeson
  • “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” Unnamed senior, University of Pittsburgh
  • “What I said to them at halftime would be unprintable on the radio.” Gerry Francis
  • “He’s one of those footballers whose brains are in his head.” Derek Johnstone

YOU KNOW, I THINK I’M AN EXPERT TOO!

09/28/2022 ⚾Sports Trivia🏈   Leave a comment

While I’m not much of a sports fan these days, I did play a lot of sports over the years. I loved playing sports but watching them now is as much fun as watching paint dry. I’m still a lover of trivia too so it’s about time I matched them up. Here are a few sports trivia facts you may not have been aware of.

  • Wilt Chamberlain averaged 48.5 minutes per game in 1961–62. That means he played every minute of every game and every minute of every overtime.
  • Pittsburgh is the only city where every one of its professional sports teams wears the same colors.
  • Major league baseball uses approximately 900,000 balls every season.
  • Prior to the 1930s in the NBA a jump ball used to follow every made basket.
  • One of the greatest pitchers in MLB history was known to run off the field during games to chase firetrucks. Rube Waddell was fascinated with firetrucks and managers had a difficult time keeping him on the mound if one drove by. It didn’t stop him from being one of the greatest strikeout pitchers in the history of the game.

  • Wilt Chamberlain once averaged over 50 points per game for an entire season.
  • Before Babe Ruth, MLB’s career home run record was just 138. When the babe retired, the new record was 714.
  • Jackie Mitchell, one of the first (and only) female player in the major league baseball system, once struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig in consecutive at-bats. The strikeouts occurred during a minor league exhibition game against the Yankees.
  • For 43 years, the NFL record for the longest made field goal was held by a man (Tom Dempsey) with no toes on his kicking foot.
  • Jackie Robinson was not the first black player in major league baseball. William Edward White, a former slave, served as a one-game replacement player in 1879. Moses Fleetwood Walker lasted slightly longer, playing nearly a full season in 1884, 63 years before Jackie Robinson made his historic debut.

PLAY BALL ! !

09/15/2022 “Americas Pastime”   Leave a comment

I’m a huge fan of baseball primarily because I played it for so many years. It’s the best! However, I will continue to poke the baseball bear in the eye whenever possible. The game is sacred to me, but the individual players are not. So, let’s have a little fun today.

“Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a Communist.” Alvin Dark, New York Giants Infielder

“Even Napoleon had his Watergate.” Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager

“Folks, this is perfect weather for today’s game. Not a breath of air.” Curt Gowdy, sports commentator

“All I said was that the trades were stupid and dumb, and they took that and blew it all out of proportion.” Ron Davis, Minnesota Twins pitcher

“I am throwing twice as hard as I ever did. It’s just not getting there as fast.” Lefty Gomez, New York Yankee pitcher

“I prefer fast foods.” Infielder Rocky Bridges, when asked why he wouldn’t eat snails

“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” Tug McGraw, National League pitcher, when asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

“Raise the urinals.” Darrel Chaney, Atlanta Braves infielder, on how to keep the Braves on their toes

“Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.” Pedro Guerrero, National League player

“I lost it in the sun.” Billy Loes, Brooklyn Dodger pitcher after fumbling a grounder

PLAY BALL!

07/19/2022 ⚾FOR BASEBALL LOVERS⚾   1 comment

I’ve been a lover of baseball since the age of six. I’ve played in the LL Minor Leagues, LL Major Leagues, Pony League, Senior Little League, High School (4 years), and American Legion ball. I figure that gives me the right to have a little fun at the expense of some of my favorite players. I remain respectful of these men, but I still think some of the things they say in front of the microphone are hysterically funny. Here are a few . . .

  • “Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a Communist” Alvin Dark, NY Giant infielder.
  • “If Jesus were on the field, he’d be pitching inside and breaking up double plays. He’d be high-fiving the other guys.” Tim Burke, Montreal Expos pitcher.
  • “I am throwing twice as hard as I ever did. It’s just not getting there as fast.” Lefty Gomez, NY Yankee pitcher.
  • “I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” Tug Mcgraw, NL pitcher, when asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.
  • “The doctors x-rayed by head and found nothing.” Dizzy Dean, NL pitcher, after being beaned in the 1934 World Series.
  • “I was the worst hitter ever. I never even broke a bat until last year when I was backing out of the garage.” Left Gomez, NY Yankee pitcher.
  • “Well, that kind of puts a damper on even a Yankee win.” Phil Rizzuto, Yankee broadcaster, upon hearing that Pope Paul had died.
  • “His (Dwight Gooden’s) reputation preceded him before he got here.” Don Mattingly, NY Yankee infielder.
  • “It would take some of the lust off the All-Star game.” Pete Rose, REDS infielder when asked about inter-league play.
  • “I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.” Andre Dawson, Cubs outfielder on being a role model.

No, I haven’t forgotten about quotes and sayings by Yogi Berra. I would have to write a short novel to include all of his silliness. I’ll post something on Yogi eventually but it’s hard to choose just ten out of the hundreds available. LOL

PLAY BALL!!!

05/15/2022 Sports Cont’d   Leave a comment

I was pleased to see that yesterday’s post on sports trivia was well received. I thought I’d expand it a little more today.

  • In 1994 NY Giant’s linebacker Lawrence Taylor played his last game. He took a small but poignant souvenir from that game which was the referee’s yellow flag. He felt that he deserved it because the refs “throw it against me often enough”.
  • Walter Payton the famous Chicago Bears running back missed only one game during his 13-year career. He carried the ball more often (3838 times) for more yards (16,726) and scored more rushing touchdowns (110) than anyone else.
  • In 1925 the Dartmouth football team contained 22 members of the Phi Beta Kappa honor society.
  • Golfing great Ben Hogan is also known for his famous reply when asked how someone can improve their game. It’s short and simple answer is still true today, “Hit the ball closer to the hole.”
  • After retiring as a player, Babe Ruth spent one year as a coach for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1938.
Roger Bannister
  • In 1912, at the Stockholm Olympics, electric timing devices and a public address systems were used for the first time.
  • Famed fullback Jim Brown while attending Syracuse University in the mid-1950s also played lacrosse. and made All-American.
  • In June 1938 the Cincinnati Reds southpaw pitcher John Vandermeer pitched two no-hitters. They were the only two he ever threw, and they were consecutive. He pitched the first one against the Boston Braves and then his next game he pitched one against the Brooklyn Dodgers.
  • Ty Cobb was the only major league baseball player to have a brand of cigarettes named after him.
  • In 1979 New York Yankee manager Billy Martin had a confrontation with a marshmallow salesman and lost his job.
  • In in 1954 Roger Bannister, was named the Sports Illustrated magazines first Sportsman of the Year for breaking the four-minute mile.

BACK TO WORK TOMORROW

05/14/2022 More Sports!   1 comment

Deion Sanders

Since I was talking about Little League baseball in my last post, I thought a little more sports trivia might be interesting. Here are a few tidbits from baseball and football that you might be aware of, and you may not. Enjoy . . .

Baseball

  • In the early days of baseball, players were permitted to throw the ball at a runner for an out and pitching underhanded. Balls caught on one bounce were considered outs.
  • The team who won the first recorded game of baseball was the New York Nine. They beat the New York Knickerbockers 23 to 1 in 1846. By 1857, 16 New York area clubs were playing baseball under the auspices of the National Association of Baseball Players (NABBP), the sports first governing body.
  • 1903 was the first year in which a World Series was played. The Boston Americans (American League) beat the Pittsburgh Pirates (National League) in a best-of-seven nine-game series. Five years later, the Boston Americans rebranded themselves as the Boston Red Sox.
  • It is commonly believed that Glenn Burke of the Los Angeles Dodgers, gets credited for the invention of the high-five. During the final game of the 1977 regular season, Dodger player Dusty Baker hit a home run and was greeted in the dugout with the high-five slapped by teammate Glenn Burke. The rest is history.

Football

  • President Theodore Roosevelt is credited with instituting the forward pass rule in football. He demanded a change to footballs rules in 1905, after 18 players were killed and 159 injured that year. The forward pass was intended to open up the game and minimize the chaotic dog piles associated with lateral passing. The rule was adopted in 1906.
  • The original name of the Oakland Raiders was the Oakland Senors. It was the winning entry in a 1959 test sponsored by the Oakland Tribune to name the new franchise.
  • The Chicago Bears are the only current NFL team playing in its original city, under its original name. They’ve been the Chicago Bears since 1921.
  • It is estimated that 78% of professional football players are bankrupt or in severe financial trouble after retiring from the NFL. That’s after just two years of retirement.
  • Deion Sanders in 1989, played in the Super Bowl for the Atlanta Falcons and in the World Series for the New York Yankees. He’s also the only person to have scored a touchdown and hit a major league home run in the same week.

GO PIRATES

(Sarcasm Off)

04/08/2022 Hammering Hank   Leave a comment

I thought I’d start this post with a look-back to April 8, 1974. Being the baseball fan that I am, I’d like to remember “Hammering Hank”.

Hank Aaron Breaks Babe Ruth’s All-time Home Run Record

On April 8, 1974, Hank Aaron of the Atlanta Braves hits his 715th career home run, breaking Babe Ruth’s legendary record of 714 homers. A crowd of 53,775 people, the largest in the history of Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium, was with Aaron that night to cheer when he hit a 4th inning pitch off the Los Angeles Dodgers’ Al Downing.

As a follow-up to that story, I like to make a comment about my hometown team. Just to let everyone know (including JB), the Pittsburgh Pirates still suck. They’ve taken sucking to a new level, and it pains me to even watch a game they’re playing. It’s the beginning of another season and I refuse to get my hopes up. Bring back Roberto Clemente, Bill Mazeroski, Dick Groat, Rocky Nelson, Dick Stuart, and Willie Stargell and then play some real baseball. I think I sound a little bitter but that’s all right, because “I am”. It’s time for that organization to start spending some money and getting some quality players or it’ll be another 30 years before we see a World Series appearance.

GO BUCKS . . . PLEASE GO!

11/29/2021 X-mas 2021   Leave a comment

I’ve written many postings about the Christmas season over the years and as I recently read back through them, they appeared varied, somewhat interesting, and some even boring. I hate to admit that I was ever boring but there are times when Christmas can be a huge pain in the butt. I just don’t get the “buzz” like I did when I was a kid and it still amazes me that some people (without kids) turn into Christmas fanatics and go wild over it. I loved Christmas as a young child but each year I lost a little of the holiday magic everyone seems to be searching for. It saddens me a little but “it is what it is”. The only real enjoyment for me now is when the young grandchildren are running through the house wearing Christmas apparel and having a grand old time. I thoroughly enjoy living vicariously through them.

After my last two years of medical problems, I didn’t feel things would ever be getting any better. The years, 2019 and 2020, drained away what little fun I had left in me. If not for my better-half and a few other close family members I might not have survived to enjoy Christmas 2021, for that I am eternally grateful.

All of that being said, it’s time to prepare for the holidays once again. With the pandemic still gumming up the works I’m not sure what direction to take. Now that I’m cancer free you’d think I’d be ready to celebrate the hell out of just about anything. After the experiences of the last two years I’ve entered a phase in my life that was totally unexpected. I’ve become calmer, more thoughtful, and seriously introspective.

The grandchildren are no longer toddlers and are becoming actual people. They now can speak their minds and voice their feelings like never before. While I find that refreshing it makes my preparations for the holiday a little more troublesome. My education continues but now they are the teachers and I’m the student.

I now know more about Pokémon and the thousands of cards involved with that experience. It’s supposed to be a game but I have no idea what the rules are. I think he’s just messing with me because he seems to win every game. Which cards are rare and which ones are crappy, who knows?

I’ve seen the Alvin & the Chipmunks movie a hundred times and have been hearing that theme song in my head for five years. I find myself humming it at the oddest times, in the shower and while I’m cutting grass. Don’t even get me started about “Lady and the Tramp”.

I’ll bet you any amount of money that I know more about the cartoon “Larva” than anyone you know over the age of 15. I actually found myself purchasing a “Larva” tee shirt three years ago that the grandson wanted to give to his grandmother. Apparently, it was a bigger hit than I anticipated since she still wears it occasionally in odd moments.

I’ve also been coerced into becoming a soccer fan. I’ve hated soccer with a passion and have avoided it for most of my life. Not anymore unfortunately. Both grandsons have decided that soccer is a great game but it’s always much more fun when family members come to the games to cheer them on. So, my newest job is the official family sports photographer. I get to sit and watch groups of five-six-seven-eight-year-old boys and girls playing “at” soccer. Just shoot me now. It’s finally improving this year since they’ve added a real game to their curriculum, baseball. This I actually enjoy watching.

I guess I should be happy. Those boys have enough energy for us all and I think it’s rubbing off on me a little. They now have me looking forward to a Christmas I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to celebrate.

HO! HO! HO! ONCE AGAIN

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