Archive for the ‘headaches’ Tag

12-18-2015. Journal – Have a Flu Infested Christmas!   Leave a comment

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I know it’s the Christmas season and I also know that requires us to be as cheerful and happy as possible. I hope you’ll appreciate this break in all the happiness to listen to one of my short Christmas rants.  Sit back and enjoy while I vent for a bit and try to get my blood pressure to drop back to normal levels.

For many years I made a point of skipping flu shots for one simple reason. Every time I got a flu shot, surprise, surprise, I immediately got the flu.  As soon as I mentioned that to any healthcare provider I was given the always handy excuse of "It’s really just a milder version of the flu so be glad about that." I found it difficult to to be too glad so I finally stopped taking the shots. Just as a point of fact, I still got the damn flu and it didn’t feel all that different from the so-called milder version. What does that tell you?  It tells me that it’d possible that someone’s been pumping a whole lot of sunshine up my skirt  and getting away with it for years.

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I realize that the politicians in this country think that all of us non-political mouth-breathers are morons and uneducated idiots. I should add the entire healthcare system thinks that way as well with all of it’s so-called experts speaking down to us at every opportunity. I may be a moron and an idiot but I’m still able to recognize a huge pile of BS when I see it, step in it, or smell it. Right now I’m doing all three.

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‘Can’t see Santa till you get that flu shot kiddies.’

We constantly hear talk that certain chemicals used to create flu shots and other vaccines may be one of the causes of the massive increase in children diagnosed with forms of autism. Since I’m an idiot and a moron I’m expected to go along with all of the experts when it comes to injecting vaccines into my body. I’m also expected to believe all of the rhetoric and propaganda that’s shoved down my throat for a few months each year.

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Over the years they’ve  just made it too damn easy to get  flu shots. We can go to drug stores, malls, Walmart, and community centers. Maybe next year they’ll include a few gas stations, car repair shops, 7/11’s, or even have drive-thru service on interstate highway rest stops. Those rest stops are known for quite a diverse cross-section of the population who also are in need of flu shots. 

I received my flu shot this year in September and guess what? I’ve been sick with a host of flu symptoms for two months that never seem to go away. This must prove just how right the experts are, right? Instead of a one week case of the flu I’m now able to suffer for a month or more with their damn weaker version which really makes for a wonderful Christmas. I can sneeze, wheeze, and contaminate my entire family.  This mouth breathing moron is slowly waking up. . . . no more effing flu shots for me.

HAVE A MERRY FLU INFESTED CHRISTMAS – 6 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT

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10-19-2015 Journal – Flu Shots, Y or N!   Leave a comment

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Have you gotten your flu shot yet?  For the last month I’ve been receiving emails from damn near everyone reminding me to do so.  OMFG . . . every year it’s the same damn thing. It seems everyone on this planet knows how to keep me healthy better than I do. Up until three years ago I’d never had a flu shot but finally gave into all of the pressure from friends, family, insurance companies, and doctors.

Four years ago I came down with a wicked case of the flu that actually was so bad  I thought I was going to die. Since fear is the ultimate motivator for us poor humans I decided to finally give in and get flu shots on a regular basis.

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I understand how the shots are supposed to work but as with all things I’ve become somewhat skeptical.  I have very low expectations of most people because they insist on telling me things that forward their agendas instead of my own. People say I’m too cynical, skeptical, and pragmatic but after years of experience I’ve found myself correct more often than not. 

I made my way to Rite-Aid a few weeks ago with a note from my insurance carrier and a pat on the head from Medicare.  The process was simple, straight forward, and before I knew it I was in, inoculated, and done.  Then I sat down and began to peruse the pile of paperwork they handed me. A rather nice young lady took some of her valuable time to tell me about some of the possible symptoms I could expect.  First, within 48 hours my arm would be a sore and might stiffen up a little.  In a week after that I would likely have issues with headaches and possibly a minor fever.  I thought for a minute that I was flashing back on one of those hundreds of TV drug commercials we’re bombarded with. I sat patiently waiting for her to include anal leakage as one of my symptoms but she never did . . . thank God.   

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It’s now two weeks later and I’m going through my list of symptoms right on schedule. I had the required sore arm for a few days which was annoying but not too terrible. I could still pick my nose but it hurt a little. The arm remained sore for almost a week until the headaches kicked in. The arm still hurt but I was more concerned about the headache that was threatening  to blow the top of my head off. I’ve never been prone to headaches or migraines but this had to be something very similar.  I spent my days popping dozens of Tylenol and was still unable to sit quietly to read a book.  I won’t even get into the side effects from taking all of those damn Tylenol. All I could think about was how lucky I was to have so many smart people convincing me to get that damn flu shot.

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Next  the low grade fever arrived right on schedule.  It’s been sapping my strength for the last week but finally seems to be easing up some.  So for more than three weeks now I’ve had what I’m told is a mild case of the flu. My last serious bout with the flu lasted only a week but so far this alleged mild version has hung in there for three weeks.

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I’m beginning to believe that the cure is actually as bad if not worse than the disease. Thanks to everyone who convinced (conned) me to get that effing shot. All I really want to know now is who do I contact later in the Fall when I actually get the real flu. I have a strong cynical feeling that may occur as well.

It’s funny but I’m also sure if I do  actually get the flu all of those alleged experts who strong-armed me into this flu shot will be missing in action. They’ll return next year in larger numbers to again frighten and strong-arm many of us once again.

LONG LIVE THE HEALTHCARE SYSTEM

03-31-2015 Journal – Miracle Drugs?   Leave a comment

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I’m beginning to believe that my doctor is plotting against me.  During my last visit he convinced me to take a new vaccine that would assist my immune system in fending off a fairly large number of viruses.  He claimed that in conjunction with my previous Pneumonia vaccination and my flu shot I’d be protected from almost everything.  That was two weeks ago.

First of all as I was receiving the shot the nurse told me there might be a little muscle pain in the area where the shot was placed.  What she didn’t tell me was I’d be unable to move my arm and shoulder for a week without major pain. I let it go figuring any shot in the arm will have some pain involved and finally a week later the pain subsided and movement of my arm and shoulder returned to normal.  I felt better about myself and went on about my life, smiling all the way.

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Why can’t we hold these medical experts responsible when everything they say seems to be just so much BS and guesswork. Get a flu shot and then immediately get the freaking flu. Get a magic vaccination to prevent illnesses and immediately get an freaking illness.  For the last week or so I watched my family members and even my better-half struggling with some weird virus that caused a tremendous amount of congestion in the chest and head and caused terrible headaches.  I was sympathetic and did what I could to make things better but at the same time thanking some god or another for my magical vaccination.  I walked through my germ ridden house with the confidence of a really healthy and well maintained individual.  My trust in my doctor was as high as it’s ever been until two days ago.

I’m lying in bed this morning wondering what the hell happened. I woke up two days ago with a minor cough and a slight fever.  Then my throat started the infamous burn which always leads to something awful.  My mouth was as dry as the Sahara and I needed help prying my lips apart to drink a little water.  I peeled enough crust from my eyelids to fill a coffee cup and did that disgusting task between trips to the facilities that Mother Nature demanded. So far the projectile vomiting has yet to show up and I pray it stays away forever.

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Two days of very little sleep, a better-half who hacked, coughed, and snored like a 400 pound truck driver, a fever to keep me warm, and a total loss of taste.  Even if I wanted to eat I wouldn’t be able to taste a thing.  Coffee and tea tasted like hot water and eating just about any food was like chewing and swallowing cardboard.

I can already hear my doctor, "I guess this virus wasn’t one of the ones included in the miracle vaccine."  I may just be forced to kick his ass. I figure if I’m forced to pay hundreds of dollars for these shots there should be some sort of guarantee based on performance.  I can be sure of only one thing it seems, there will be any effing refunds from the medical community or the drug company who’s reaping all of the monetary rewards.

Thanks for nothing doc.