I’ve noticed in recent years that many people are questioning the value of a college education. I agree with that but not entirely. If you’re majoring in a useful subject that will help improve your life and that of society – DO IT! If your majoring in some lame-ass course that teaches you to spot acne forming on the asses of transgendered people – JUST STAY HOME. I’m a college grad who majored in Design and Commercial Art and I’ve never held any job even remotely related to it. Todays blog entry is proof that college degrees and college education are only as good as the student permits them to be. These items are called “malaprops” (meaning “inappropriate”) misstatements taken from actual high school and college exam papers. Sadly, they’re all true. Read on …..
Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy.
Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.
Pharoah forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw.
Moses led them to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
Christmas is a time for happiness for every child, adult, and adulteress.
Good punctuation means not to be late.
Don’t is a contraption.
Adam and Eve wore nothing but figments.
Columbus discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic.
The first book of the Bible is the book of Guinesses.
And last but not least My Fav.
If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, a proverb is a pronoun used in place of a verb.
Being a long time Pittsburgher requires absolute loyalty to the Steelers and to the Pirates. I spent 12 years of my life totally and completely addicted to playing baseball. It wasn’t a casual thing; it was total and complete obsession. I was fortunate enough to see and meet many of the greatest baseball players to ever live who played for the Pittsburgh Pirates including Roberto Clemente, Bill Mazeroski, Rocky Nelson, Al McBean, Bill Verdon, Dick Stuart and the list goes on and on. The same year that I was born the Pirates claimed ownership to one of the greatest home run hitters in the game, Ralph Kiner. He was long gone from the Pittsburgh team as I began my early teens, but I followed his career for many years and even copied his batting style. Who doesn’t remember “Kiners Corner”, a shortened area of fence in left-center field at Forbes Field. I’m sorry I never had the opportunity to meet him or to see him play, but he was the ultimate role model for a young baseball crazy kid, and I loved him. Here’s a short bio on Kiner and his truly impressive career.
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In 1949, Kiner topped his 1947 total with 54 home runs, falling just two short of Hack Wilson’s then-National League record. It was the highest total in the major leagues from 1939 to 1960, and the highest National League total from 1931 to 1997. It made Kiner the first National League player with two 50 plus home run seasons. Kiner also matched his peak of 127 RBI’s. From 1947 to 1951, Kiner topped 40 home runs and 100 RBIs each season. Through 2011 he was one of seven major leaguers to have had at least four 30-HR, 100-RBI seasons in their first five years. Kiner’s string of seasons leading the league in home runs reached seven in 1952, when he hit 37. This also was the last of a record six consecutive seasons in which he led Major League Baseball in home runs.
In 1961, Kiner entered the broadcast booth for the Chicago White Sox. The following year, Kiner, Lindsey Nelson, and Bob Murphy began broadcasting the games of the expansion New York Mets. Kiner also hosted a post-game show known as “Kiner’s Korner” on WOR-TV. Nationally, he helped call the Mets’ appearance in the 1969 and 1973 World Series for NBC Radio. He won a local Emmy Award for his broadcasting work.
Kiner was also known for his occasional malapropisms, usually connected with getting people’s names wrong, such as calling broadcasting partner Tim McCarver as “Tim MacArthur” and calling Gary Carter “Gary Cooper”. Despite a bout with Bell’s palsy, which left him with slightly slurred speech, Kiner continued broadcasting for 53 seasons.
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Here are a few more for your amusement.
The Hall of Fame ceremonies are on 31st and 32nd of July.
We’ll be back after this word from Manufacturers Hangover. (the correct name was Manufacturers Hanover)
Today is Father’s Day, so to all you fathers out there, we’d like to say, Happy Birthday!
Tony Gwynn was named player of the year for April.
George Shinn is the owner of the Charlotte Harlots basketball team. (the actual name was the Charlotte Hornets)
And finally, I saved the best for last.
Ralph Korner (Kiner introducing himself on his post-game show, Kiner’s Korner”.
everyuselessthing.com 