Archive for the ‘mariah carey’ Tag
It’s a cold morning here in Maine. I did an early food shop this morning and the hunters appear to be out in large numbers. I’ve never been a hunter and I have no idea what hunting season actually started today. I just know I won’t be taking any long walks in the woods where some drunken, nearsighted, armed, citizen might mistake me for a deer or a turkey or whatever. I’ll be staying indoors where it’s safe.
Enough of this nonsense, let’s get into some other more interesting nonsense concerning one of my favorite subjects: Media and Celebrity Silliness. When they screw up, they put it out there for everyone to see and hear and here are some of my favorites.
- “To say this book is about me (which is the main reason I was uncomfortable – me, me, me, me . . .frightening!) is ridiculous. This book is not about me.” Kate Moss, Model, on her book, Kate: The Kate Moss Book
- The Duck and Doochess of Windsor.” Anonymous Commentator, introducing the Duke and Duchess of Windsor
- “The red squirrels . . . you don’t see many of them since they became extinct.” Michael Aspel, BBC
- “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” Brook Shields – During an anti smoking campaign interview
- “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” Mariah Carey
- “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.” Miss Alabama 1994, when asked “If you could live forever, would you, and why?”
- “An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage.” Ian Macaskill, BBC Weather
- “It’s not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific calling from God, is to be a television talk show host.” James Baker, televangelist
- “We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” Decca Records Co. executive in 1962, after turning down the Beatles
- “As a prize – a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher.” TV Announcer who meant to say “grass catcher”
TO ERR IS HUM AN AND THESE FOLKS ARE REALLY HUMAN
If you’ve read this blog at all your well aware that I love citing quotations. I’m a firm believer that quotes that are remembered and repeated often have some sort of meaning that touches people. Unfortunately, some quotable people offer up quotes that are remembered for their stupidity and ignorance. Today I will cite a few that I’d prefer to forget, and I hope you will as well.
- “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” Mariah Carey
- “We went to Atari and said, “Hey, we’ve got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us?” They said, “No.” So, then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, “We don’t need you. You haven’t got through college yet.” Steve Jobs looking for financial backers for the Mac.
- “Atomic energy might be as good as our present-day explosives, but it is unlikely to produce anything very much more dangerous.” Sir Winston Churchill
- “The Edison Company offered me the general superintendency of the company but only on condition that I would give up my gas engine and devote myself to something really useful.” Henry Ford
- “True, I’ve been a long time making up my mind, but now I’m giving you a definite answer. I won’t say yes, and I won’t say no, but I’m giving you a definite maybe.” Samuel Goldwyn
- “Rock ‘n Roll is phony and false, and some, written, and played for the most part by cretinous goons.” Frank Sinatra 1957
- “I believe that Mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn’t wear fur coats, those little animals would never have been born. So, is it better not to have been born, or to have lived for one or two years to have been turned into a fur coat? I don’t know.” Playmate Barbie Benton
I think that’s about enough of these stupid quotes but unfortunately during my research I discovered there’s probably many more of these than the one’s worth remembering.
HAVE A PLEASANT UNQUOTABLE WEEKEND
You must have gathered by now, I’m not a big fan of celebrities. Most celebrities just aren’t worth my time and effort to write about them. I’m not saying all of them are fake but a vast majority appear to be. I do understand that some of them, and I do mean “SOME”, are talented in various disciplines and that I do appreciate. My biggest complaint is their effect on the culture with their stupid and uninformed opinions and thoughts. They may have talent and fame but it doesn’t make them any smarter than the rest of us. They allow themselves to be used by politicians to affect the vote in ways that I disagree with. Their influence among our younger generations with silly and sometimes stupid statements causes more problems than it solves. Here’s a few examples of these fine upstanding citizens and the things they say and think.
- “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
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“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” – Mariah Carey
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“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.” – Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
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“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” — Britney Spears
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“I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.” — Jessica Simpson
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“I am convinced that by eating biological foods it is possible to avoid a tumor.” – Gwyneth Paltrow
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“It’s OK to have beliefs, just don’t believe in them.” – Guy Ritchie
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“What’s Walmart, do they like make walls there?” – Paris Hilton
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“When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crack-head with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes. – Nicole Richie
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“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.” – Joe Biden
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“It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.” – Axl Rose
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“All of the sudden, you’re like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I’m going through.” – R. Kelly
These are the role models our younger generations look up to and attempt to emulate. I always thought that the obsession with celebrities faded as we aged but I was wrong. I recall years ago teasing my seventy year old mother when she said she would have thrown her panties on stage for Tom Jones. Same obsession, different approach.
I guess I just dislike fake people. If you’re a great singer or actor with loads of talent why change your name. Stand up, be proud, and be who you really are. Here’s a list of just a few celebrities who’ve been convinced by the Hollywood types to not just change their names but to remove their real identities as people. This is a very small sampling of this nonsense.
Pat Benatar = Patricia Andrejewski
Bono = Paul Hewson
Alice Cooper = Vincent Funnier
Elvis Costello = Declan Patrick McManus
Tom Cruise = Thomas Cruise Mapother IV
Vin Diesel = Mark Vincent
Kathie Lee Gifford = Kathie Epstein
Whoopie Goldberg = Caryn Johnson
Ice Cube = Oshea Jackson
Ice-T = Tracy Morrow
Elton John = Reginald Dwight
Wynonna Judd = Christina Ciminella
Queen Latifah = Dana Owens
Courtney Love = Michelle Harrison
Elle MacPherson = Eleanor Gow
Barry Manilow = Barry Alan Pincus
Marilyn Manson = Brian
Demi Moore = Demetria Guynes
Joan Rivers = Joan Sandra Molinsky
Johnny Rotten (Sex Pistols) = John Lydon
Winona Ryder = Winona Horowitz
Susan Sarandon = Susan Tomaling
Jane Seymour = Joyce Franked berg
Sting = Gordon Sumner
Randy Travis = Randy Traywick
Sid Vicious = John Simon Ritchie
Raquel Welch = Raquel Tejada
Gene Wilder = Jerome Silberman
Tammy Wynette = Wynette Pugh
What kind of person so easily gives up their real name? How do their other family members feel about it? I have a feeling in some close-knit families this could become a major problem and create a lot of hard feelings. I know if I had a son or daughter talented enough to be given that choice, they’d keep their name and be damn proud of it. Just ask the Wahlberg brothers or the Baldwin family. Proud of who they are and not ashamed to admit it.
I realize that a large portion of our society hangs on every word and deed of our ever growing ranks of celebrities. From the beards on Duck Dynasty to the endless supply of idiot groups of wives from what seems like every city in the country. Unless people hear the information directly from a celebrity on Twitter it has no validity. They’re experts on every subject from the environment to politics and need to be constantly in the lime light so none of us can ever forget how smart they think they are.
Bear in mind when you read the following quotes from our wannabe Mensa members of the celebrity corp. They spew such utter nonsense as you’ll soon read, take a sip of water, and then begin to explain the State of the Union, as they see it. This is what happens when semi-smart talented singers with too much time and money on their hands get bored.
The folks I’m listing here are just the tip of the ice berg. They’re all singers who’s second most important priority is to be seen and heard as often as possible in the Media. I actually like some of their music but OMG shut up about everything else.
- Christina Aguilera
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On clothes: “I wouldn’t feel right wearing clothes covering my body.”
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“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”
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“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”
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After a wardrobe malfunction: “OMG my pussy is hanging out.”
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“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”
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“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
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Before entering rehab: “I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows.”
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“I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.”
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On tuna: “Is this chicken or is this fish?”
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Whitney Houston, on crack: “Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let’s get that straight. OK? We don’t do crack. We don’t do that. Crack is whack.”
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Kellie Pickler, on ‘Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader’: “I thought Europe was a country?”
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Ricky Martin: “I love giving the golden shower. I’ve done it before in the shower. It’s, like, so sexy”.
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Lil’ Wayne, on studying: “I learned this from a college graduate. She’d smoke a joint the night before a test, while she was studying, and then again in the morning and everything she had read would come right back. I tried this shit five times and I swear to God, I’ve never made less than a 92.”
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Ozzy Osbourne, on subtitles: “I think MTV should consider using subtitles. Half the time, even I can’t understand what the fuck I’m talking about.”
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Melissa Etheridge, after winning an Oscar: “This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.”
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Kanye West, on his legacy: “I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade. I will be the loudest voice.”
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Axl Rose: "It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.”
Keep all of this in mind as these celebrities and hundreds of others stare back at you from your TV set and tell you how to eat, drink, live, love, exercise, who to vote for, and what rehab facility is the best. Take their rehab advice but go on about your life making your own decisions.
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