Archive for the ‘parking lot’ Tag

04/27/2023 “A BRISK Tale”   1 comment

As you should know by now, I enjoy things odd, strange, but still interesting. I’ll tell you a short tale of my first trip outside of my home in some weeks. Since fracturing my ankle I’ve been hobbling around in the house wearing a ten-pound plastic boot and using a walker to move around. I should also mention that I drive a Smart car. It’s very difficult to fit me and my big ugly plastic boot behind the wheel of that little car. Therefor it was necessary that I become a passenger while my better-half took the wheel for a short shopping trip. I was stuck in the car because it was impossible for me to walk around a Walmart, and I absolutely refuse to use one of those electric monstrosities available for the injured and obese. Even when I was in the best of health, I never liked shopping there. Here’s my Brisk tale of my Walmart parking lot safari.

*****

My tale begins as I sat in my car watching a wild and crazy assortment of people wandering through the parking lot. The wind was howling, and I caught sight of a yellow empty can four aisles over rolling on the ground. As I watched, the wind blew it into traffic in that aisle and the stupid can avoided at least four vehicles and then continued rolling towards my aisle. My interest waned a bit and I began reading my Kindle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that damn yellow can blow out from under another parked car and into the aisle three rows away. It was again missed by all of the traffic in that aisle and stopped dead in an open area.

I started fantasying that the can knew where it was going, and the wind was helping it get there. The wind kicked up once more and the can took a weird track thorough the next aisle and stopped right next to a car. An Asian fellow who had just parked his car, saw the can and gave it a kick as he walked by. The can ignored the abuse and with another gust of wind continued its journey into the next aisle. Now I was getting more interested on what the final fate of the can might be. In the next aisle a car sped by and the passing wind from the car blew the can across that aisle landing it fifteen feet from my car and ending up in a shopping cart corral. It appeared stuck there, so I returned to my reading.

Ten minutes later this giant Walmart employee with his cute little vest appeared next to my car to empty the corral. He looked pissed off and began pulling carts from here and there and fortunately for the can, he dislodged it. He stormed off mumbling to himself (probably how much he hated Walmart) and left the area. The wind gusted again and believe it or not that can rolled right over to my car and stopped next to the passenger side door where I was sitting. I’m not a believer in fate but I just knew I had to give that can some assistance before it was destroyed. I opened the door and put the empty can in my pocket and took it home with me. It’s now sitting on a shelf in my garage taking a well-earned vacation from all of the human dangers it had faced and survived. During our next shopping foray, I’ll return it to the wild to continue its journey. Maybe I’ll do it a real favor and drop it off at Home Goods, it’s a much better neighborhood and a cleaner parking lot.

AND THAT’S MY TALE

01-08-2014 Dealing With A-Holes   4 comments

Odd Thought: I have a question. Does it mean anything at all that January is Self-Love Month? My follow-up to that question is this: Does it mean anything that the last week of the month is set aside as Meat Week? And lastly does it mean anything at all that the last Saturday of the month is National Seed Swap Day?  I was just wondering, that’s all.

I have a lot of questions like that and they never seem to get answered. What possesses people to do questionable and rude things? Is it sheer stupidity or is it a complete and total disregard of every other person on the planet? In order to find answers to that question I usually spend a little time cruising around Walmart. It’s amazing just how many rude and inconsiderate people can be found in that one building.

This has been a week of Walmart for me. I was almost run down and injured by a rather large woman with a cart full of merchandise that was so full it was overflowing and falling on the floor. She pushed me out of the way in order to get 4 feet ahead of me in line at the checkout register. Being the calm and polite person that I am I quietly asked, “Ma’am just what the hell do you think your doing?” She gave me a rather dirty look, turned her back to me and began throwing her merchandise onto the register counter. I was then forced to wait even longer when she had an issue over the use of an EBT card. That’s a food stamp card for those of you not in the know.  She was pissed off that the cashier was questioning her purchases of alcohol.  Go figure.

How many times have you sat and patiently waited for a parking spot to clear and then have some A-hole pull in from the other direction in front of you? It happens all too often for my liking but unless your willing to risk some sort of “road rage” incident your forced to swallow your pride and just “let it go”.  How many times does it have to happen before you flip out completely and create a huge scene and argument? In my younger days I was one of the guys who wouldn’t put up with that crap and came close to fisticuffs a number of times.  That was when I finally became aware that there are large numbers of people out there who are total and complete morons.  And don’t get me started on the rudeness displayed with cell phone usage. That’s a whole other posting that will be addressed soon.

I’m not just picking on Walmart customers because these incidents occur with people driving those big expensive SUV’s as well who think that we peons are just inconveniences to be dealt with when we interfere with their activities. More inconsiderate well-to-do A-holes.

The express checkout lane is only an illusion…

Years ago I spent a few bucks on adhesive paper that fit my inkjet printer and printed up a number of  of small bulletin cards for addressing parking lot rudeness, driving rudeness, and other sorts of  inconsiderate activities that pissed me off.  If someone blocked me in or parked in an inconsiderate manner I’d slap one of my adhesive bulletins on their windshield directly blocking their view from the drivers seat. It took a little elbow grease and a lot of cursing for them to remove those bulletin from the windshield but it was oh so satisfying for me as I drove away.

I think it’s time to reinvent my bulletins.  I’ll refresh the wording a little and make them even more polite than usual.  It has much more of an effect on rude people when you politely tell them they’re rude and inconsiderate. I’ll start carrying a supply of them with me again and begin making their lives as miserable as they make mine.  By doing it this way I avoid those dangerous confrontations while still getting my points across.

Once I start passing them out I’ll keep you posted on the results.  This is the only safe way I can think of to make them aware of my unhappiness and just how stupid, inconsiderate, and ignorant they seem to be.

Revenge is sweet regardless of what all those the do-gooder’s tell you.

P.S. And yes I understand that they may think that I’m rude and inconsiderate by my actions. Consider for a minute the source of that criticism and then “let it go”.

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