Archive for the ‘idiots’ Tag

07-05-2016 Journal – Love It or Leave It!   Leave a comment

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Well, another holiday has come and gone. Overall it was a great weekend for us here in Maine.  I do realize there are problems in many parts of this country where patriotism is now frowned upon for fear of alienating all of the aliens, both legal and more likely illegal.  I recently read an article where a student was sent home from school because he wore a pro-America t- shirt.  If that was my son I could easily been persuaded to some sort of violence and rightly so. I realize it’s chic and liberal to trash the United States at every turn but if nothing else it’s disrespectful as hell. It disrespects every person wearing the countries uniform and I suspect it’s mostly done by people who’ve never served.

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Also shame on those of you in the academic ranks who insist on turning this country into a liberal, politically correct, and impotent world power by brainwashing our children with liberal claptrap (that’s right . . . I said claptrap.). Shame on you all.

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Now that I have that rant off my chest let me continue.  My better-half and I did a little traveling around our state over the weekend and I couldn’t have been prouder. It seems that the people of Maine may distrust our politicians (as they should) but still love their country.  We must have seen five hundred or more flags flying from buildings, businesses, and homes.

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In the town of Sebago, Maine which covers a rather large area, every telephone pole that we saw for miles was flying the colors.  So to all of you America haters across the country how about finding the closest airport, get on the fastest plane you can find and GET THE HELL OUT (call me if you need a ride to the airport).

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA

 

11-29-2014 Journal–The Day After BF!   Leave a comment

Well, it’s the day after Black Friday which in fact started almost a week ago and I assume by next year will almost certainly become Black November.  That way they can begin their annoying Christmas push the day after Halloween.  I chose this year to not leave the house on Black Friday.  I try to miss it as often as I possibly can.  After more than twenty-five years of working for retail corporations and being forced to work Black Friday every year, I refuse to ever do it again.

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This morning my better-half hit the ground running when she arrived in the bedroom to wake me up well before I was ready.  If it isn’t the cat it’s her. She was on her third cup of coffee and talking ninety miles an hour and rattling off the list of stores we’d be visiting on our planned shopping trip.  There just wasn’t enough coffee in the house to get me out of that bed quickly but eventually I stumbled to the kitchen and tried to wake up.

An hour or so later we were on our way.  I really wasn’t into the shopping but I made sure I drove us through areas where good photographs might be found. It was a bright and clear sunny day and I didn’t want to waste any of it.  Here are a few photo’s to help you appreciate Maine a little.

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We had a great day together where my better-half wandered around looking and touching everything she saw and was able to fill the car rather easily with all sorts of treasures.  We’ve just arrived home and hopefully I can settle in and relax for a few hours before the nonsense starts again tomorrow.  I can expect another early wakeup call and I need a little time to come up with a reason or two why I can’t be dragged shopping once again. It’s never worked before but I can only keep trying.

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‘Say hello to the horses.’

01-13-2014 Media Professionals? – NOT   2 comments

I’m a huge critic of the media but at the same time I try to remain fair in that criticism, Truthfully, I hate them all.  When this government of ours was created the Media was to be a watchdog on those politicians known for being corrupt and wasteful with our tax dollars.  The process begins to breakdown once the Media becomes a tool of the government.  You can see it now with Obama putting the Media through it’s paces with little or no criticism of any wrongdoing.  They worship the ground he walks on and it’s pitiful. I think the turning point was reached when all of the largest newspapers and Media outlets were purchased by corporate America.  It’s was a “Kiss of Death” to our democracy as it was meant to be.

The Media has the luxury of editing and reporting only those things that agree with their political agendas as directed by the corporate bosses.  The good quality journalists have become extinct and are only talked about around the water coolers of the surviving newsgroups. What we have now are over educated talking heads who are news readers rather than investigative reporters.  The following list is humorous but at the same time just reinforces my thoughts on the subject.

How do you like these idiotic headlines written by alleged reporters, edited by alleged editors, and published as shown.  Unbelievable is the word your looking for.  Here we go.

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE – ONE DIES

TWO SISTERS REUNITE AFTER EIGHTEEN YEARS AT CHECKOUT COUNTER

NEVER WITHHOLD HERPES FROM LOVED ONE

NICARAGUA SETS GOAL TO WIPE OUT LITERACY

DRUNK DRIVERS PAID $1,000 IN 1984

AUTOS KILLING 110 A DAY, LET’S RESOLVE TO DO BETTER

IF STRIKE ISN’T SETTLED QUICKLY IT MAY LAST A WHILE

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

SMOKERS ARE PRODUCTIVE, BUT DEATH CUTS EFFICIENCY

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

CHILD’S DEATH RUINS COUPLE’S HOLIDAY

BLIND WOMAN GETS NEW KIDNEY FROM DAD SHE HASN’T SEEN IN YEARS

MAN IS FATALLY SLAIN

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERTS SAY

DEATH CAUSES LONELINESS, FEELING OF ISOLATION

Remember what you’ve read here when they begin telling you how to think and vote.  Believe nothing they say unless you can verify it though other reliable sources.  It’s your country, take the time and make the effort.

01-08-2014 Dealing With A-Holes   4 comments

Odd Thought: I have a question. Does it mean anything at all that January is Self-Love Month? My follow-up to that question is this: Does it mean anything that the last week of the month is set aside as Meat Week? And lastly does it mean anything at all that the last Saturday of the month is National Seed Swap Day?  I was just wondering, that’s all.

I have a lot of questions like that and they never seem to get answered. What possesses people to do questionable and rude things? Is it sheer stupidity or is it a complete and total disregard of every other person on the planet? In order to find answers to that question I usually spend a little time cruising around Walmart. It’s amazing just how many rude and inconsiderate people can be found in that one building.

This has been a week of Walmart for me. I was almost run down and injured by a rather large woman with a cart full of merchandise that was so full it was overflowing and falling on the floor. She pushed me out of the way in order to get 4 feet ahead of me in line at the checkout register. Being the calm and polite person that I am I quietly asked, “Ma’am just what the hell do you think your doing?” She gave me a rather dirty look, turned her back to me and began throwing her merchandise onto the register counter. I was then forced to wait even longer when she had an issue over the use of an EBT card. That’s a food stamp card for those of you not in the know.  She was pissed off that the cashier was questioning her purchases of alcohol.  Go figure.

How many times have you sat and patiently waited for a parking spot to clear and then have some A-hole pull in from the other direction in front of you? It happens all too often for my liking but unless your willing to risk some sort of “road rage” incident your forced to swallow your pride and just “let it go”.  How many times does it have to happen before you flip out completely and create a huge scene and argument? In my younger days I was one of the guys who wouldn’t put up with that crap and came close to fisticuffs a number of times.  That was when I finally became aware that there are large numbers of people out there who are total and complete morons.  And don’t get me started on the rudeness displayed with cell phone usage. That’s a whole other posting that will be addressed soon.

I’m not just picking on Walmart customers because these incidents occur with people driving those big expensive SUV’s as well who think that we peons are just inconveniences to be dealt with when we interfere with their activities. More inconsiderate well-to-do A-holes.

The express checkout lane is only an illusion…

Years ago I spent a few bucks on adhesive paper that fit my inkjet printer and printed up a number of  of small bulletin cards for addressing parking lot rudeness, driving rudeness, and other sorts of  inconsiderate activities that pissed me off.  If someone blocked me in or parked in an inconsiderate manner I’d slap one of my adhesive bulletins on their windshield directly blocking their view from the drivers seat. It took a little elbow grease and a lot of cursing for them to remove those bulletin from the windshield but it was oh so satisfying for me as I drove away.

I think it’s time to reinvent my bulletins.  I’ll refresh the wording a little and make them even more polite than usual.  It has much more of an effect on rude people when you politely tell them they’re rude and inconsiderate. I’ll start carrying a supply of them with me again and begin making their lives as miserable as they make mine.  By doing it this way I avoid those dangerous confrontations while still getting my points across.

Once I start passing them out I’ll keep you posted on the results.  This is the only safe way I can think of to make them aware of my unhappiness and just how stupid, inconsiderate, and ignorant they seem to be.

Revenge is sweet regardless of what all those the do-gooder’s tell you.

P.S. And yes I understand that they may think that I’m rude and inconsiderate by my actions. Consider for a minute the source of that criticism and then “let it go”.

09-29-2013   Leave a comment

If you count my years as a police officer, my time in retail investigations, and seven years working in an assortment of state jails and courthouses, you’d think I’ve seen and heard just about everything.  If you thought that you’d be right.  Those facilities offer up a list of experiences that most people would never experience or want to.  People give me strange looks at times and really have a hard time believing some of those stories.  Odd, weird, and unusual are everyday occurrences there whether they like to believe it or not.

I spent seven years, five days a week sitting in courtrooms and listening to testimony and statement by attorneys that were stupid, funny, and pitiful all at the same time.  For the most part the judges were just highly paid referees between the attorneys and their ever so stupid defendants and witnesses.

These items were actual statements made under oath and recorded by court reporters.  It’s a small sampling of how our criminal justice system really works.

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Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

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Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

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Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?

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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy."
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

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I really can’t explain to you the look on some of the defendant’s faces when they hear some of the questions their own attorneys ask.  It doesn’t fill them with confidence that their court appointed attorney has no clue about what’s going on.  The attorneys seem speechless at times when they hear their own clients testimony.  I found my jaw dropping on many occasions when a defendant said just enough to convince the jury he was an idiot and a guilty one at that.

09-16-2013   Leave a comment

I’ve always loved slamming celebrities and today will be no different.  I do it fairly by just simply using their own words against them.  Many of these so called celebrities insist on disturbing my calm by being in my face at every turn on both TV and radio. They’re determined to explain to me how much smarter they think they are about politics, the environment, and any other effing cause they are promoting.  It became tiresome more years ago than I care to mention. Since I can’t tell them in person what I think about them without being accused of being a stalker or paparazzi, I’ll use this blog to at least vent enough to make me fell better.

You can take the Bill Maher’s and the Susan Sarandon’s of the world and all of their wack-job friends and ship them wherever you’d like.  Just get them out of my face.  Here are a few quotes that I’m sure these geniuses wished they’d never made.  Here we go . . . .

  • Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
    Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
    – Miss Alabama, 1994 Miss USA Pageant
  • "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researches also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are."
    – Mat Lauer, Today Show, NBC
  • "I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
    – David Dinkins, New York City Mayor answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
  • "Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life."
    – Brooke Shields
  • "We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
    – Jason Kidd, Dallas Mavericks
  • "I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
    – Hillary Clinton
  • "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
    – Marion Barry, Washing, D.C. Mayor
  • "It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
    – Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President

I will admit that celebrities make writing this blog easy at times.  They are the proverbial “gifts that keep on giving” and I for one appreciate it. 

And as a final thought, thanks to Fred Thompson and his celebrity buddies trying to convince all the seniors in this country that reverse mortgages are the best thing since sliced bread.  What a giant load of crap.

07-13-2013   Leave a comment

Earlier this week I spent some time ridiculing attorneys and criminal witnesses as to their unbelievable stupidity.  I wouldn’t want anyone to think for a minute that my posting was meant to be malicious, just funny and ridiculous.  I thought today I would include in my musings the behavior of really stupid criminals who make their attorney’s look like geniuses.

You have to admit that people who choose a life of crime aren’t too bright to start with.  The following stories are actual tales about actual stupid criminals arrested within the last few years.  You just can’t make this stuff up.  Many years ago in my rookie year as a police officer my partner told me some valuable words of police wisdom. Since he was my training officer and had almost twenty-five experience on the job I listened intently.  His philosophy about police work was this, "If it wasn’t for the stupid fucking criminals we’d never catch anyone."  Here’s a few of them that were caught.

  • A stupid thief pled guilty to the attempted robbery of a convenience store in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. The thief told a passerby he was going to rob the store, gave the man a dollar, and asked him to go inside and buy a scarf to help him hide his identity during the crime. The bystander took the dollar, went inside the store… and called the police.
  • During a high school break-in in Plymouth, North Carolina, two really stupid burglars found a camera in one of the classrooms and amused themselves by taking pictures of each other committing the crime. When they couldn’t figure out how to get the film out of the camera, they concluded it wasn’t loaded and left it behind. The men apparently didn’t realize they’d been fooling around with a digital camera that allowed police to downloaded the snapshots to a computer and got a complete photographic record of the break-in. The suspects were quickly arrested.
  • A woman reported her car stolen and mentioned there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the telephone and told the moron that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and was interested in buying the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
  • A dumb ass criminal on trial for drug possession in Pontiac, Michigan, said he’d been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn’t need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher’s jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.
  • A 21 year old idiot, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. He gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later he was arrested because information on the screen showed a two-year-old armed robbery warrant from St. Louis, Missouri.  A huge dumb ass.

What did I tell you?  I guess my old training officer was right on the money with his advice.  Some things are just wisdom for the ages.

01-06-2013   Leave a comment

Today is one of those dead days after the holidays where everyone is dragging ass with the loss of all that holiday adrenaline.  I’ve decided I need to talk about politics for a bit after perusing the monthly observances listed for January.

Today is January 6th and I’ve discovered something earth shattering.  The politicians must be losing their edge because not only have they chosen not to observe the 6th as Sherlock Holmes’s birthday which almost but not quite pisses me off, they’ve completely ignored the 6th for any type of recognition. While the 6th of January is included in some of the lame ass weekly observances, it doesn’t have a day of it’s own.  How could our narcissistic and self-serving politico’s miss an opportunity like that.  There’s a day for damn near everything and a few days that have multiple  observances, so what the hell is wrong with the 6th of January?

Maybe it’s time for us to help those poor underpaid politicians do their job in a more proper fashion. How about we have the 6th remembered and observed as, “Take Down the Goddamn Christmas Tree Day” or “National Christmas Gift Refund Day”.  Being as fair and balanced as I can possibly be I propose we name the 6th as “Take an Effing Liberal to Work Day”. We could show them off to our conservative friends and pass out a few food stamps as a surprise gifts.

The next time I have lunch with Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid I’ll make that suggestion.  They’ve been avoiding me since I refused that threesome offer over our last lunch.  They’re so sensitive when sexually rejected it may take a few months for another invite to come my way (no pun intended).

I can’t wait for next year, it’ll take me that long to choose my liberal work buddy. I have a complicated and fun selection process which will make as many liberals as possible as uncomfortable as possible.

So there!

12-28-2012   2 comments

The snow has finally stopped with the final amount totaling close to 17 inches.  My back, legs, and arms were telling me it was more like 100 inches but what do they know.  I rolled out of bed early this morning and knew in my heart the driveway wasn’t finished with me yet.  I didn’t realize just how right I was.

As a last gift from our town’s snow plow I found the bottom of my driveway completely blocked from their last visit sometime during the night. This is an annual bitch of mine that I need to tell someone about but believe me, no ones listening.  I grabbed my shovel and out into the cold I went once again. 

Let me set the scene for you. I’m standing at the end of my driveway with wet feet and sore limbs after shoveling for at least a half hour to clear the mess.  I finally finished (or so I thought) and I looked up the road and what did I see but the towns frigging snow plow heading my way.  I swear that damn driver was grinning as he reloaded my driveway with a ton of now slushy and dirty snow.  He should thank whatever God he believes in that I wasn’t armed. I start shoveling again and still grumbling about it when ten minutes later I hear the plow making it’s return trip going in the other direction.  The snow had stopped, the road was empty of traffic, it was just me and the snowplow, and the towns incompetent driver. 

I was standing directly across the road from my (new this year) mailbox when the plow swooped through, hit my mailbox, spinning it completely around, and left the door hanging by a thread. This is the third effing mailbox in the last five years that I’ll be forced to replace. As I’m sure you know, I was no longer smiling. That was how my day started. 

I finished the shoveling and decided I needed to get the hell out of the house for a few hours. I was suffering from a mild case of cabin-fever.  I ran a few errands, bought a few books, and took a few photographs.  My blood pressure finally  returned to normal and the day once again became calmer and more enjoyable.

Upon the return of my better-half from work I was made aware that we would be meeting some friends a a local restaurant later in the day for a few drinks and appetizers.  I actually was looking forward to that so after a quick hour on the X-Box, I showered, shaved, dressed, and was ready to go.

We met up with our friends, had a few drinks, and got caught up the latest gossip and had a great time.  Being the law abiding citizen that I am I stopped after three glasses of wine and went to drinking coffee.  It turned out to be my best move of the night.

As we headed home the night was clear and cold and we were chatting a little. Just a few minutes from our house all of a sudden two white tailed deer jumped from an embankment on our right landing directly in front of us.  Lucky for us and them I was driving slowly enough to get stopped and to let them pass.  Even so that still got the old heart racing for a few minutes.

I pull into our driveway and I could  see that the town’s garbage men finally emptied our trash container.  As I walked down the driveway to retrieve it I noticed how icy it had become.  I yelled out to my better-half to be careful and as I did I slipped and fell on my ass and twisted my already damaged knee  It was a little stiff last night but right now as I’m lying in bed writing this, it hurts too much to get up.  Looks like a few more weeks of hobbling around until it heals again.  I’m never all that surprised by my clumsiness but it’s getting really tiresome.  I guess I can celebrate my first fall for 2012 and look forward to the first one that’s sure to come in 2013.