Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone it’s time to get back to the basics of what this blog is all about, “Every Useless Thing”. To quote an authority, Bertrand Russell, “There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.” Since I totally agree with that statement, I really don’t need to say much more except enjoy this collection of useless knowledge.
- There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
- The herb nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
- Volleyball is the most popular sport at nudist camps.
- The buttons on a man’s jacket cuff were originally intended to stop manservants from wiping their noses on the sleeves of their uniforms.
- Watching TV uses up to 50% more calories than sleeping.
- On average, a drop of Heinz tomato ketchup leaves the bottle at a speed of 25 miles per year.
- At any given moment, there are some 1800 thunderstorms somewhere on planet Earth.
- No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven times.
- 20% of the people in the whole history of mankind who have lived beyond the age of 65 are alive today .
- Six out of every seven gynecologists are men.
- Strawberries have more vitamin C than oranges.
- If a pack-a-day smoker inhaled a weeks’ worth of nicotine, they would die instantly.
- Cats can’t taste sweet food.
25 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
Let’s start this post with a statement of obvious fact:
“Organic gardening is a lot of shit.”
Now we can move on to some humor for all of you card playing fanatics out there:
Mr. Jones had come home from a hard day of work and was appalled when his wife reminded him that they had arranged to visit a friend’s house for dinner and bridge. “I’m too tired to budge”, he protested. “It can’t be helped”, said Mrs. Jones, her eyes turning dangerous. So, Jones was forced to shower, change clothes, and drag himself off to the friend’s house. In the bridge game he was paired off with the hostess and then proceeded to play one lousy game after another, so that he and the hostess lost steadily. Finally, he got up and muttered, “I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” He didn’t bother to close the door of the bathroom, and the sound of water trickling into water was clear and distinct. Mrs. Jones, totally embarrassed said, “Please excuse my husband. He’s had a very hard day.” The hostess then said, “No need for excuses. I don’t mind. This is the first moment since we started playing bridge tonight that I knew what he had in his hand.”
Since I love history, here is an interesting backstory I thought I’d share with you:
George IV of Great Britain hated his wife with growing intensity, and she returned it with interest. There were prolonged and rather disgusting divorce proceedings between them, and the entire British nation took an emotional part in it. When Napoleon died at St. Helena in 1821, the news was immediately brought to George IV’s attention. “Our greatest enemy is dead”, he was told. “Oh, is she?”, smiled George.
And of course, here is the expected and gratuitous limerick:
I met a lewd nude in Bermuda,
Who thought she was shrewd, but I was shrewder.
She thought it quite crude
To be wooed in the nude.
I was cruder, pursued her, and eventually screwed’er
YOU MUST BE FEELING SMARTER ALREADY
everyuselessthing.com 