Archive for the ‘perverted’ Tag

06-07-2013   Leave a comment

Yesterday’s posting was all about my misadventures in the land of female fantasies.  I think I learned a little from some of the comments by my female readers and I appreciate that.  I’m pretty sure  none of the information will improve my sex life but I do feel a little smarter than I did yesterday. Today is a new day and my interest has changed into a discussion of why men feel fortunate to be men.

It makes no sense for me to try and create a list of  men’s sexual fantasies.  The list would be endless and as all of you women out there suspect many of the fantasies would be more than a little perverted.  So my job today is to explain simply and unprevertedly (my new made up word) why we’re so happy to be men.

After cruising around the net today I found a few interesting sites that contained discussions and suggestions on the reasons why men are happy to be men. Some of the reasons are funny, some are stupid, some are ignorant, and in my humble opinion they’re all true. I’m sure most men will agree that the following list is closer to the truth than we’d like to admit.  I found hundreds of  reasons articulated by many intelligent and semi-intelligent people but eliminated pages full of the more stupid and senseless.  I settled on these twenty to try and make my point.  They are listed in no particular order of importance. Just finish this sentence:

WE LOVE BEING MEN BECAUSE . . . . . .

  • The world is our urinal and we’re not afraid to use it.
  • We can buy condoms without  cashiers  trying to picture us naked.
  • We can rationalize any behavior with the phrase "Screw it."
  • We require movie nudity to be female and frontal.
  • A week long vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • All of our orgasms are real.
  • A beer gut doesn’t make us invisible to the opposite sex.
  • We have the ability to pee alone.
  • No one secretly wonders whether we swallow.
  • We can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
  • If we’re in our thirties and single, nobody notices or cares.
  • We can write our name in the snow.
  • We get to think about sex 90% of our waking hours.
  • Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
  • We don’t give a rat’s ass if anyone likes our hair.
  • We can sit with our knees apart no matter what we’re wearing.
  • We don’t have to leave the room to make a crotch adjustment.
  • If we retain water, it’s in a alcoholic beverage.
  • We’re never not in the mood for sex.
  • Porn movies are designed with our mind in mind.

I’ll apologize now to all of you female readers.  I actually feel bad for you because some of these reasons are pretty cool but you’ll never get to experience or appreciate them like we men do.  You just need to remember that there are just as many pluses in being a woman as a man and I’m sure I could compile a pretty good list.  I’ll give it a little more thought over the next few weeks and possibly come back with a list for you ladies.