Archive for the ‘urinals’ Tag

06-01-2018 Things That Really Bore Me!   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve created lists of things I love and things I hate.  After roaming around for the last few months and people watching it occurred to me that another category needed to be documented.  Here is my list of things that have morphed from ‘Things That Annoy Me’ to ‘Things That Bore Me’.

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Drug companies and their endless advertisements to cure damn near everything. In most cases you’d need a small mortgage to pay for them but at least the side effects are free.

Organic labeling normally just pisses me off but I’ve come to realize if people are stupid enough to buy the “organic” song and dance then there’s nothing I can do. To quote one of my favorite comics, Ron White . . .  You can’t fix stupid!

Anyone named Obama or Bush. No further explanation is needed or wanted.

AARP Mailings. I refuse to belong to any organization of liberal leaning seniors that enjoys sucking up to the Dems for more government handouts. You’d think that their current government subsidies would be enough.

Any bumper sticker that insists on telling me things I could care less about. I don’t really care what your children are doing or where they’re doing it. It’s just more eye litter.

SPAM in all it’s forms.

Verizon Wireless and their need to call me ten times a week because I’m now eligible for an upgrade on my cell phone. I’ve already blocked 26 of their numbers but they continue to annoy me from every state in the country.

Hilary Clinton and her endless health problems, her endless mental problems, and of course her endless marital problem, WILD BILL.

Maxine Waters. It’s time for a rubber room and a straight jacket for this wingnut.

The Maine Stream Media in all of it’s manifestations.

George “I Want to be King of the World.” Soros.

Trump Bashing.

Trump Bashers.

Hollywood idiots voicing their opinions about what they think on every topic except their acting, singing, or dancing.

Tipping waiters and waitresses when I’m now doing most of their work. Table computers are fine if I can cut my normal tip in half. All the waitresses do these days is deliver the meal and smile pretty. I think that’s worth no more than a 3 percent tip.

Facebook and Twitter. They should really be on the list of things that annoy me but they bore me as well.

The egocentric morons who frequent most retail stores and are always in line at the register directly in front of me.  Where’s my stun gun when I need it.

Bait and Switch is one of the oldest and most misleading types of advertisement. It seems to have become much more commonplace that ever before.

Men talking to me while we’re standing at a urinal. I guess they don’t fully understand how focused I need to be while peeing. Talking is OK I guess but no peeking please.

Cell phone ringtones. Enough already . . . I don’t give a shit that you got email. Put it on vibrate moron.

Facial tattoos. It’s an instant judgement call when I see a person with them. Idiot, dumb ass, or moron, take your pick.

The new and improved Leggings fad. I admit that in many cases they just make my day but whatever you do don’t go into Walmart. You could be struck blind if you’re lucky.

Baseball caps worn backward. Any idiot that still thinks this is cool should get a free facial tattoo.

Homeless beggars. I hesitate giving money or cans to someone who is supposedly poor and unemployed while he’s wearing a better pair of Nike shoes than I have.

President Trumps continual tweeting. Just ridiculous.

Katy Perry. Sing a song, leave the stage, marry an asshole, cut off your hair, and then tell me what a political moron I must be for not supporting Hilary. God women . . . Get a frigging life.

Sex with lifelike robots. Only two terms comes to mind immediately, “Organ Grinder” and “Ex Wife”. Way too scary for me. Thanks but no thanks. Yikes!!!

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06-07-2013   Leave a comment

Yesterday’s posting was all about my misadventures in the land of female fantasies.  I think I learned a little from some of the comments by my female readers and I appreciate that.  I’m pretty sure  none of the information will improve my sex life but I do feel a little smarter than I did yesterday. Today is a new day and my interest has changed into a discussion of why men feel fortunate to be men.

It makes no sense for me to try and create a list of  men’s sexual fantasies.  The list would be endless and as all of you women out there suspect many of the fantasies would be more than a little perverted.  So my job today is to explain simply and unprevertedly (my new made up word) why we’re so happy to be men.

After cruising around the net today I found a few interesting sites that contained discussions and suggestions on the reasons why men are happy to be men. Some of the reasons are funny, some are stupid, some are ignorant, and in my humble opinion they’re all true. I’m sure most men will agree that the following list is closer to the truth than we’d like to admit.  I found hundreds of  reasons articulated by many intelligent and semi-intelligent people but eliminated pages full of the more stupid and senseless.  I settled on these twenty to try and make my point.  They are listed in no particular order of importance. Just finish this sentence:


  • The world is our urinal and we’re not afraid to use it.
  • We can buy condoms without  cashiers  trying to picture us naked.
  • We can rationalize any behavior with the phrase "Screw it."
  • We require movie nudity to be female and frontal.
  • A week long vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • All of our orgasms are real.
  • A beer gut doesn’t make us invisible to the opposite sex.
  • We have the ability to pee alone.
  • No one secretly wonders whether we swallow.
  • We can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
  • If we’re in our thirties and single, nobody notices or cares.
  • We can write our name in the snow.
  • We get to think about sex 90% of our waking hours.
  • Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
  • We don’t give a rat’s ass if anyone likes our hair.
  • We can sit with our knees apart no matter what we’re wearing.
  • We don’t have to leave the room to make a crotch adjustment.
  • If we retain water, it’s in a alcoholic beverage.
  • We’re never not in the mood for sex.
  • Porn movies are designed with our mind in mind.

I’ll apologize now to all of you female readers.  I actually feel bad for you because some of these reasons are pretty cool but you’ll never get to experience or appreciate them like we men do.  You just need to remember that there are just as many pluses in being a woman as a man and I’m sure I could compile a pretty good list.  I’ll give it a little more thought over the next few weeks and possibly come back with a list for you ladies.

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