Archive for the ‘polling’ Tag

09-26-2013   Leave a comment

It was a week ago that I received a letter in the mail from a government agency which will go unnamed for now.  My household had been chosen from a cast of millions as a candidate for a new confidential study of some sort.  Enclosed in the envelope was a two dollar bill to thank me for reading their introductory letter.  Normally I’d just toss the letter and spend the money.  So what did I do this time?  I threw away the letter and spent the money.

I also took the time to read the letter before  I trashed it which told me that I would be visited by one of their representatives within a few weeks who would ascertain my households eligibility to this mysterious study.  If we were selected we could be paid as much as a whopping $85.00. Of course, the study could last a few years with periodic check-ins by telephone to question us.  I shrugged it off, thought it was stupid and continued on with living my life.

A few weeks later I was at home busy with a myriad of chores my better-half assigns me.  I think it used to be called a "Honey-Do" list or so my father told me.  I never heard the doorbell but I did observe an unidentified man skulking around my front door.  Before I could confront him he had entered a car parked nearby and drove away.  I’ve been a wee bit paranoid since the robbery we had here a year ago and the fact that three more have occurred since in this general vicinity.  I quickly grabbed my gun, my camera, my car keys and jumped in my vehicle and went to find him. He was parked near a nearby neighbors house just sitting along the road in his car. I slowed down long enough to get a very good picture of his car, license plate, and face.  If anything unusual was then later reported I could supply police with the information.  I am the freaking Neighborhood Watch, by God.

Three days later my better-half and I spot the same car and the same guy a mile or so from our house.  We’d no sooner returned home when the guy shows up at my door.  He’s the same A-hole sent by the government to make his highly confidential rounds through the area to interview survey candidates.  I told him to park in my driveway but he refused.  His instructions were to maintain complete confidentiality and not to allow anyone to find out what he’s doing and where he’s doing it.  It’s just so freaking stupid!

Being the nice guy that I am I immediately checked his drivers license and government photo ID card.  If I could have given him a DNA test and taken his fingerprints I would have done that too.  What a dumb ass.  We live in a rural area where strange cars and people can be spotted almost immediately.  He was in our area for a just a few days and had been photographed by me, accosted by another Neighborhood Watch member, and stopped by the police.

A typical dumb ass government drone with no common sense whatsoever. I asked him in and he pulled out his laptop and began asking me questions about smoking and my use or non use of electronic cigarettes. This survey will most certainly be the first volley in the government’s war against the use of electronic cigarettes.  In three years when this BS survey is completed I’m sure we’ll be blanketed with a media campaign explaining the evils of smoking electronic cigarettes and how they will kill us all.  The survey will give the government as many statistics as they need to scare the crap out of everyone I’m sure.  They feel required to save us all from that highly soon to be dangerous second hand water vapor.

He tried to convince me that the survey was being funded by the private sector and not by my hard earned tax money. I doubted that but said nothing.  I tried not to laugh in his face because I’m just a really nice effing guy and I don’t trust the government when it tells me anything.  I think he began to pickup on my skepticism and moments later after fiddling with his laptop for a few minutes I was told that the computer disqualified my household for the study.  He was up and gone in mere moments. Good riddance!

Your hard earned tax dollars are hard at work apparently preparing to stack the deck with another confidential study.  One that again will attempt to scare you to death about something they feel is bad for you.  They obviously know best  because we’re nothing more than a gang of mouth-breathing morons. That makes playing games with another national survey justified I suppose.

Land of the free, home of the brave?  Not so much anymore.

05-31-2013   1 comment

What would you rather see? Janet Jackson’s nipple or a newborn baby cooing to his mother?

What would you rather hear? President Obama’s reassurances that everything will be alright or a love song from Taylor Swift.

What would you rather taste?  Lemon juice or whipped cream.

What would you rather smell?  Someone’s body odor or freshly baked bread.

What would you rather touch?  The sharpness of a razor blade or the fur of a kitten.

I’ve just given you a tour of the five human senses which everyone is endowed with, allegedly. Common sense should make the answers to these questions really obvious.  You have just experienced your first poll here at Every Useless Thing.  I can report the following results:

15% of my readers hate cooing babies.
15% of my readers hate Taylor Swift.
85% of my readers hate lemon juice.
15% of my readers love body odor.
85% of my readers hate razor blades.

My poll is just as ridiculous as most of those polls you hear being mentioned on the news all too frequently.  I was recently called by some BS polling outfit who began asking me a series of political questions so slanted and biased I was stunned.  Would you rather die a horrible death or approve Obamacare?Would you rather pay a few more dollars in taxes or see your children die?  Would you rather vote for someone who wants clean air or a Republican?

You get my drift I hope.  Polls are just another way to manipulate the citizenry through biased and rigged questions by alleged experts who we’ve never heard of before and whose qualifications can’t be verified. It’s an easy matter for any of us to create a  fictitious organization, give it an official sounding name, with official business cards and stationary, and release polling information slanted in our specific political direction.  If the Media likes what it hears, the poll will be broadcast on the news for days with the talking heads giving it their support. If they don’t like the results then it’s buried and never seen of heard from again. Since the great majority of media folks are self-proclaimed liberals you can see the problem.

This kind of manipulation was one of the things the fourth estate was to help identify and warn the population about.  That was one of the checks and balances incorporated into our form of government by the Founders.  The Media was to be our unbiased watch dog and protector against governmental abuses. With that protection slowly disappearing we’ve now become vulnerable to a government that wants to control every facet of our lives while the Medias stands by and applauds.

We should be worried because it’s been getting progressively worse every day.

05-20-2013   4 comments

I started out today writing a post on political polling.  Upon completion I reread it and found myself bored to actual tears.  I may post it in the future but every time I write about politics or politicians I feel kinda dirty.  Someday soon when I’m having one of those “I hate politicians” days I’ll post it. Today I feel like passing along a few more items of totally useless information to help make your lives richer and fuller.  Here we go.

  • Too much coffee can kill you. A lethal dose for an average adult is around 10 grams. That’s the equivalent of drinking between fifty and two hundred cups in rapid succession.
  • Malaria mosquitos are attracted to ripe Limburger cheese and smelly feet.
  • Members of the U.S. Congress are the highest paid legislators in the world.
  • Toilet paper was invented by the Chinese. In 1391 they produced 720,000 sheets a year for exclusive use of the emperor. Each sheet measured 2 feet by three feet.
  • Disney World in  Orlando covers 30,400 acres or 46 square miles.  That’s twice the size of Manhattan.
  • A cockroaches brain is spread throughout it’s body., If you chop off the head, it can still live up to a week. It finally dies because it can’t eat.
  • You can get cooties. Cooties are lice.
  • Mosquito repellant does not repel mosquitos. It blocks their sensors so they don’t know your there.
  • Poison ivy is a member of the cashew family of plants that supplies us with cashews and pistachio nuts.
  • Charlie Chaplin once lost a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.  He didn’t even make it to the finals.
  • Artists have more sexual partners.
  • The Puritan’s bought beer to America.
  • Antarctica is the only continent without owls.
  • A ten gallon hat only holds three-quarters  of a gallon.
  • The first film version of Frankenstein was a fifteen minute silent produced by Thomas Edison.

Well there you have it.  I saved you all from a boring political rant and offered up this collection of incredible information at the same time.  We do live in miraculous times, don’t we? I’m out the door and on my way in five minutes so ending this right now is necessary. Consider it ended.

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