I’m not sure you’ve noticed but periodically over the last 18 months I’ve posted a series of questions to help people examine their lives. Some of the responses from readers were excellent and a few others not so much. I took some time off from posting these questions due to a recent injury, but I would like to continue today with ten additional questions, Installment #12. If you find them interesting, you might want to check my archives for the first eleven installments. I last posted on this subject on 5/2/23. Answer the questions honestly with your spouse and/or partner. It will definitely make for interesting conversations and discussions. Here we go . . .
How old were you when you first had sexual intercourse?
If you are leading 100 people, whose lives are in danger, and you must choose between two courses of action. One would save only 90 people; the other would have a 50% chance of saving everyone but were it to fail everyone would die. Which would you choose?
If you went to a movie with a friend and it was lousy, would you leave?
For $1 million would you be willing to never again see or talk to your best friend?
What do you like best about your life? least?
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Have you ever disliked someone for being lucky or more successful than you?
A cave-in occurs while you and a stranger are in a concrete room deep in a mineshaft. Before the phone goes dead, you learn the entire mine is sealed and the air hole being drilled will not reach you for 30 hours. If you both take sleeping pills from the medicine chest, the oxygen will last for only 20 hours. Both of you can’t survive; alone, one of you might. After you both realize this, the stranger takes several sleeping pills, says that it is in God’s hands, and falls asleep. You have a pistol; what do you do?
When you are given a compliment do you usually acknowledge it or suggest that you really do not deserve it?
What sorts of things would you do if you could be as outgoing and uninhibited as you wish? Do you usually initiate friendships or wait to be approached?
If you decided to do something and your friends strongly advise you not to, could you do it anyway?
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Another few installments will follow, and they will finish this series. I know how much I’ve enjoyed the discussions that they’ve created with my better-half, and I hope you give them a try.
Once again, it’s time for a small collection of somewhat strange riddles from my favorite raunchy decade the 1980’s. That decade wasn’t near as bad as the 1960’s but it’s a damn close second for raunchiness. Enjoy this short retro trip down mammary lane . . .
Why is a virgin like a balloon? One prick and it’s all over!
Why was the bisexual prizefighter undefeated? He could lick anyone!
Why do girls fart after they pee? They can’t shake it, so they blow it dry!
How can you tell if Dolly Parton forgot to wear her bra? There are no wrinkles in her face!
What did Adam say when he woke up and was missing a rib? “Something smells fishy around here!”
What does the Lone Ranger do in the men’s room after a big meal? Take a dump, take a dump, take a dump dump dump!
What do you call oral sex in a national park? Old faceful!
What’s a prophylactic? A planned parent hood!
What’s the definition of trust? Two cannibals having oral sex!
How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. One to screw it in, and three to discuss how it’s so much more gratifying than with a man!
It seems that the great majority of people in this country love to visit our national parks. I’ve never been one to spend much time in them, but I do understand the interest. As I did my research, I stumbled upon some other interesting facts not so much about the parks but about the interesting people who visit them. We humans are an interesting lot but at times just totally and completely stupid. That statement is due primarily to the following list. It is actual questions asked of Rangers and Visitors Bureau employees who work in the parks. The questions are so silly and humorous there’s no need to post the answers. Read them and have a laugh or two.
Can you show me where the yeti lives?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
How much of the cave is underground?
How do you turn Old Faithful on?
We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?
What is the best time of year to watch deer turn into elk?
Where can we find Amish hookers? We want to buy a quilt.
To date, I’ve posted 165 questions in 11 installments. Those questions were relatively simple questions to deal with but the deeper into this list we go the more difficult they become. So, let’s get started with installment number 12 and see how you fare.
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If you wanted to look very sexy, how would you dress?
For $2000 would you be willing to stand up in a crowded restaurant and, for at least a minute, loudly berate a waitress for some trivial imperfection in the service? If not, consider how grateful the waitress would be if you did so and later split the money with her.
If there were a public execution on television, would you watch it?
If someone offered you a large amount of money for some information about one of your company’s products, would you except it? Assume you know you wouldn’t be discovered.
Do you consider yourself well organized? How often do you have to look for your keys?
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If you could increase your IQ by 40 points by having an ugly scar stretching from your mouth to your eye, would you do so?
Would you be willing to do something very unsatisfying i.e. cleaning toilets, for five years if you were certain that the experience would afterwards bring you a deep sense of personal fulfillment for the rest of your life?
What things are too personal to discuss with others?
Walking along an empty street, you notice a wallet. It contains $5000 in cash but no name or address. What would you do? Would it alter your decision if inside you found the name, address, and picture of either a wealthy looking young man or a frail looking old woman?
Would you prefer to be blind or deaf?
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Would you be content with the marriage of the highest quality in all respects but one – it completely lacked sex?
When was the last time you stole something? Why haven’t you stolen anything since then?
How many of your friendships lasted more than 10 years? Which of your current friends do you feel will still be important to you 10 years from now?
If you could mold to your liking your memories of any past experience, would you do so?
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say?
I thought I’d continue with another installment of interesting questions created to assist us in self-evaluation. These installments have made for some lively discussions with my better-half after we discovered some surprisingly different answers. I hope you have a partner or spouse to discuss them with. It can be quite enlightening.
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If you knew your child would be severely retarded and would die by the age of five, would you decide to have an abortion?
Do you find it hard to say “no” when you regularly do favors you do not want to do? If so, why?
If you began to be very attracted to someone of another race, how would your behavior differ from what it would be toward someone of your own race?
Would you rather spend a month on vacation with your parents or put in overtime at your current job for four weeks without extra compensation?
Would you like to know the precise day of your death?
Would you accept a guaranteed, lifetime allowance of $50,000 per year (adjusted annually for inflation) if accepting it meant you could never again earn money from either work or investments.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
Do you ever spit or pick your nose in public? What about cleaning your teeth with a toothpick?
A close friend asks, and genuinely wants your opinion about something, but your opinion is one that he is likely to find quite painful. For example, your friend is an artist and asks your honest estimate of his chances of being successful. You think he is an atrocious artist who hasn’t the slightest chance of success. What would you do?
Do you have a favorite sexual fantasy? Would you like to have it fulfilled?
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”Socrates
It’s once again time to introduce installment number seven of this series. As I’ve posted them, I’ve found the conversations between myself and my better-half to be quite interesting. Some of my answers have surprised her and some of hers have surprised me. That’s a good thing for any relationship when after twenty or more years together you can still be pleasantly surprised by each other. Let’s get started . . .
One hot summer afternoon, while walking through a parking lot at a large shopping center, you notice a dog suffering badly from the heat inside a locked car. What would you do?
Do you feel ill at ease going alone to either dinner or a movie? What about going on a vacation by yourself?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?
For $20,000 would you go for three months without washing, brushing your teeth, or using deodorant? Assume you could not explain your reasons to anyone.
Would you rather die peacefully among friends at age 50, or painfully and alone at age 80? Assume that most of the last 30 years would be good ones.
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If you were to discover that your closest friend was a heroin dealer, what would you do?
Is it easy for you to accept help when you need it? Will you ask for help?
If you were helping to raise money for charity and someone agreed to make a large contribution if you would perform at the upcoming fundraising show, would you? If so, what would you like to perform? Assume the show would have an audience of about 1000 people.
Would you have one of your fingers surgically removed if it somehow guaranteed immunity from all major diseases?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
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How do you picture your funeral? Is it important for you to have people mourn your death?
Which of the following restrictions could you best tolerate: leaving the country permanently, or never leaving the state in which you now live?
You, your closest friend, and your father are on vacation together, hiking in a remote jungle. Your two companions stumble into a nest of poisonous vipers and are bitten repeatedly. You know neither will live without an immediate shot of antivenom, yet there is only a single dose of antivenom and that is in your pocket. What would you do?
Where would you choose to be if you could place yourself anywhere on a scale from 1 to 10, where one is hardship, struggle, and extraordinary accomplishment and 10 is comfort, peace of mind, and no accomplishment. Why? Where are you now?
If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon to be born child, would you do it?
Today is as good a day as any to continue this series with installment #5. It should make for interesting discussions to start the new year. I hope you enjoy these topics because they seem to be more interesting than those that came before. Just remember:
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Socrates
Can you urinate in front of another person?
If you walk out of your house one morning and saw a bird with a broken wing huddled in some nearby bushes, what would you do?
Assume there were a technological breakthrough that would allow people to travel as easily and cheaply between continents as between nearby cities. Unfortunately, there would also be 100,000 deaths a year from the device. Would you try to prevent its use?
You and a person you love deeply are placed in separate rooms with a button next to each of you. You know you will both be killed unless one of you presses your button before 60 minutes pass; furthermore, the first to press the button will save the other person but will immediately be killed. What do you think you would do?
When you tell a story, do you often exaggerate or embellish it? If so, why?
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Do you feel that advice from older people carries a special weight because of their greater experience?
Without your kidney as a transplant, someone close to you will die within one month. The odds that you will survive the operation are only 50%, but should you survive, you would be certain of a normal life expectancy. Would you consent to the operation?
When has your life dramatically changed as the result of some seemingly random external influence? How much do you feel in control of the course of your life?
If a friend were almost always late, would you resent it or simply allow for it? Can you be counted on to be on time?
When did you last yell at someone? Why? Did you later regret it?
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Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares every night for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?
If you could have free, unlimited service for five years from an extremely good cook, chauffeur, housekeeper, masseuse, or personal secretary, which would you choose?
Would you be willing to go to a slaughterhouse? Do you eat meat?
Would you enjoy spending a month of solitude in a beautiful natural setting? Food and shelter would be provided but you would not see another person.
After a medical examination, your doctor calls and gravely says you have a rare lymphatic cancer with only a few months to live. Five days later, she informs you that the lab test was mislabeled, and you are perfectly healthy. Forced for a moment to look death in the face, you have been allowed to turn and go on. During those difficult days you would certainly have gained some insights about yourself. Do you think they would be worth the pain?
Since Christmas has finally come and gone, I thought another installment of An Examined Life would get us all thinking about the end of another year and what we’ve accomplished or didn’t accomplish. Maybe these postings can assist us in deciding what our New Year’s resolutions might be. They’re always fun to write and I’ll be posting mine very soon. How about you?
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
You have the power to go any distance into the future and after one year, return to the present with any knowledge you have gained from your experience, but you cannot bring any physical objects with you. Would you make the journey if it carried a 50% risk of death?
Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? As your closest friend? As your lover?
While working late at night, you slightly scraped the side of a nearby Porsche. You’re certain no one else is aware of what happened. The damage is minor and would not be covered by insurance anyway. Would you leave a note?
If you could choose the manner of your death, what would it be?
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Do you have any specific long-term goals? What is one and how you plan to reach it?
For what in your life do you feel the most grateful?
How do you react when people sing “Happy Birthday” to you in a restaurant?
What is the worst psychological torture you can imagine suffering? Anything causing even minor physical injury should not be considered.
Would you like your spouse to be both smarter and more attractive than you?
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If you found that a good friend had AIDS, would you avoid him or her? What if your brother or sister had it?
Would you be willing to give up sex for one year if you knew it would give you a much deeper sense of peace than you have now?
A good friend pulls off a well-conceived practical joke that plays on one of your foibles and makes you look ridiculous. How would you react?
By controlling medical research funds, you are in the position to guarantee that a cure will be found in fifteen years for any disease you choose. Unfortunately, no progress on any others would be made during that period. Would you target one disease?
Would you accept one year of life if it meant taking one year from the life of someone in the world selected at random? Would it matter if you were told whose life you had shortened?
Last’s weeks installments created not only some discussion with my better-half but also with a number of readers. The general feeling was that it was an interesting process but disturbing once everyone started explaining their opinions. That’s a perfect reason to continue with these posts because the questions tend to get even more interesting as we proceed. Here are the next fifteen questions you can share with your spouse or partner. Have fun with it.
If at birth you could select the profession your child would eventually pursue, would you do so?
Would you be willing to become extremely ugly physically if it meant you would live for 1000 years at any physical age you choose?
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one ability or quality, what would it be?
You have the chance to meet someone with you can have the most satisfying level imaginable – the stuff of dreams. Sadly, you know that in six months the person will die. Knowing the pain that would follow, would you still want to meet the person and fall in love? What if you knew your lover would not die, but instead would betray you?
If you knew of a way to use your estate, following your death, could greatly benefit humanity, would you do it and leave only a minimal amount to your family?
Do you prefer being around men or women? Do your closest friends tend to be men or women?
If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone you choose, would you?
While on a trip to another city, your spouse or lover meets and spend the night with an exciting stranger. Given that they will never meet again, and that you will not otherwise learn of the incident, would you want your partner to tell you about? If roles were reversed, would you reveal what you had done?
Are there people you envy enough to want to trade lives with them? Who are they?
For an all-expense paid, one-week vacation anywhere in the world, would you be willing to kill a beautiful butterfly by pulling off its wings? What about stepping on a cockroach?
Would you be willing to murder an innocent person if it would end hunger in the world?
If God appeared to you in a series of vivid and moving dreams and told you to leave everything behind, travel alone to the Red Sea and become a fisherman, what would you do? What if you were told to sacrifice your child?
What is your most treasured memory?
Have you ever hated anyone? If so, why and for how long?
With you rather be given $10,000 for your own use or $100,000 to give anonymously to strangers. What if you could keep $1 million or giveaway $20 million?
It is better to make a mistake with full force of your being than to carefully avoid mistakes with a trembling spirit. Socrates
I really want to break away from all of the Christmas hoopla for a few days. This post will not be about trivia but questions to help determine your values, your beliefs, and your life; love, money, sex, integrity, generosity, pride and death are all included. I’m going to supply you with fifteen questions (the first of thirteen installments) and these questions could help you to understand yourself a little better. I honestly think that doing it with a spouse or partner would be particularly interesting because of the conversations that would follow. Let’s get started . . .
For a person you love deeply, would you be willing to move to a distant country knowing there would be little chance of seeing your family or friends again?
Do you believe in ghosts or evil spirits? Would you be willing to spend the night alone in a remote house that is supposedly haunted?
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having called someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
If you could spend one year in perfect happiness but afterword would remember nothing of the experience, would you do so? If not, why not?
If a new medicine were developed that would cure arthritis but cause a fatal reaction in 1% of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public?
Falling down is not a failure. Failure comes when you stay where you have fallen. Socrates
You discover your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake?
Do you think that the world will be a better place or a worse place 100 years from now?
Would you rather be a member of a world championship sports team or be the champion of an individual sport? Which sport would you choose?
Would you accept $1 million to leave the country and never set foot in it again?
Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were of the opposite sex?
The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less. Socrates
You are given the power to kill people simply by thinking of their deaths and twice repeating the word “goodbye”. People would die a natural death, and no one would suspect you. Are there any situations in which you would use this power?
If you are able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
What would constitute a “perfect” evening for you?
Would you rather be extremely successful professionally and have a tolerable yet unexciting private life, or have an extremely happy private life and only a tolerable and uninspiring professional life?
Whom do you admire most? In what way does that person inspire you?
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More installments will follow. Pour some wine and enjoy the discussion.
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