Archive for the ‘strange’ Tag
It’s been one of those typical summer days. A little boring, a little strange, and a whole lotta weird. The weird occurred this morning when I received a “Friend Request” on Facebook from a person I haven’t seen or spoken to in almost twenty years. I immediately recognized his name, remembered his face, and then remembered more.
This guy I’m discussing worked for me when I was managing criminal investigations for a national corporation that will remain nameless. Part of my duties involved training the newbies in criminal interrogation and the handling of potential suspects. He was tagging along with me on a case involving the theft of thousands of dollars by some of our more nefarious associates. I’d completed a number of preliminary interviews with persons of interest and had narrowed the suspect list to three possible’s. My politically correct boss advised me by telephone to give the "new guy" a shot at the final interviews. I wasn’t too happy with that decision but there was nothing much I could do but sit in the room with him and watch. The main suspect was a female department manager who was known to be confrontational and extremely belligerent. As she entered the interrogation room she snarled at me and just stood there staring at him. You should also know she was a somewhat large woman.
It’s always important for an interrogator to quickly build a rapport with the interviewee before getting into the more difficult questions. This guy was trying to be so cool and suave that he began schmoozing the woman by asking her how many months pregnant she was. Unfortunately while she did look pregnant, she wasn’t. She jumped to her feet, screamed a dozen obscenities at him and then slammed the door as she stormed out of the interview room. It was all I could do to remain professional and not laugh out loud. He was utterly mortified and totally speechless. He violated the cardinal rule for doing a successful interrogation. Never, never, never, ask a question unless you already know the answer.
Fortunately I reinterviewed her the next day and managed to use his screw-up to get a full confession out of her. She stated after a few minutes of questioning that she’d tell me anything I wanted to know as long as I kept that no good SOB away from her. While she was at it she ratted out three of her alleged friends as well. It was a thing of beauty and something I’ll never forget.
Needless to say, I denied his friend request immediately.
I then made my daily trip to look in on my two new best friends. It was my last day of dog sitting before the better-half and her daughter return from their Maryland vacation. These first photos are of Jasper. He’s the elder statesman of the two who isn’t quite as peppy as he once was. He seemed pretty damn happy to get out of the house for a while and who wouldn’t be. He was locked in the house with two cats and a second spastic dog named Rihanna.
‘Jasper Showing His Good Side’
‘Jasper Being an Idiot’
This is Rihanna his nutso step-sister who’s half pit-bull and half lunatic. She has more energy than three dogs and will play fetch with you until you drop. She loves to jump up and greet people when she meets them and I have a scar on my forehead to prove it. Crazy freaking dog.
“A Rare Shot of Her Actually Standing Still’
I returned home and ended my day with two hours on the riding mower trying to cut this wet grass before the next thunder storm arrives. I really will be glad to have my better-half home on Saturday. At least she’s housebroken.
Another night of weird dreams. I said WEIRD not WET, so get your mind out of the gutter. Over the years I’ve slowly and steadily learned to love my dreams. Everyone loves to take a nap or to sleep soundly through the night but not me. If I don’t have a really good dream as well I’m truly disappointed. I’ve developed the ability over time to remember my dreams and what is even more amazing is returning to an old dream on multiple occasions I remember streets and directions in these dreams making it possible for me to visit them again and and again and actually know my way around. It sounds stupid but it’s really pretty cool.
As I sit here this morning I began to let my love of science fiction kick in. I’m looking for answers as to why dreams are the way they are. How can it be possible for a human mind to create places and people we’ve never known and then revisit them multiple times in dreams. I understand that seeing, meeting, and talking with people from our past in dreams is possible. We carry millions of subconscious memories in our brain that are available for it’s use. Can the brain actually create these weird stories filled with even weirder people without any help from our conscious self? If it can’t then it takes this discussion to a whole new level.
We’ve all seen the movies, The Matrix and Avatar, and enjoyed them. Let me throw this idea out there. Maybe our brain really isn’t creating these scenarios at all. Can it be possible that the life we live and perceive to be our reality is anything but. Could this reality be nothing more than a giant computer generated program populated with we humans who are nothing more than avatars being used by someone else in their own reality. Maybe the portions of our dreams we don’t understand are just fragments of memories from the host person or thing whose avatar we are. They’re living our lives through us and when they’ve finished playing their weird little game they exit from the program and go about their lives. During that down-time is when we in our reality get to sleep and dream. Our brain retains fragments of their lives and combines them with our own for really strange and sometimes scary dreams and nightmares.
It would explain a lot of things that I have questions about. In fact it would be very similar to those computer generated role playing games on the Internet in this reality. People have become so immersed in them at times that their real lives and relationships have been adversely effected. Those computer generated lives become so real to them that their real lives become secondary causing a serious shift in their reality. Is that what’s happening when we dream? Is that why I have dreams and relationships in my dreams with people and places I’ve never experienced in this reality? I really don’t have the answers but I really enjoy asking the questions and exploring the possibilities.
That’s how my mind spent a few minutes this morning while my better-half was droning on about her schedule for the day. I was deep into this train of thought and almost got myself in serious trouble when I was accused of not paying attention to her. Maybe when she reads this it will give her a better understanding of how weird my mind works at time and not to take it so personally.
I’m what you might consider a “foodie”. I love to cook and above all I love to eat. It might explain why I’m in the middle of a six month weight loss program. As a kid I always looked forward to the holiday season primarily due to my grandmothers Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners. Every country and ethnic group has their own list of traditions for the holidays and compared to the United States they can be just a bit strange and a few are a little disgusting. Some are fun but they all accomplish the same basic things as ours. Time with family, friends, and memories of past holidays and family members.
Here are a few I discovered while surfing which are very interesting. I can guarantee one thing after reading them, I’ll never be attending Christmas dinners anywhere in Scandinavia. I love seafood but OMFG.
Japan
In Japan it’s customary to go out and eat Kentucky Fried Chicken for Christmas dinner from a nearby KFC of course. Thousands of people flock to KFC’s to enjoy some finger licking chicken and the Christmas rush has become so huge that some branches take table bookings.
Peru
In Peru, the big day is Noche Buena or “Good Night”, on December 24. On this night, after mass, everybody goes home to open gifts and feast on an elaborately prepared Christmas meal of traditional roasted turkey. At midnight, the adults toast with champagne and children raise their glasses of hot chocolate as fireworks shine in the night sky.
Bulgaria
In Bulgaria they cook 12 dishes to represent the 12 months of the year but they eat no meat. A typical feast consists of nuts, dried plums, cakes and banitza (a pastry). Walnuts are a necessary component of the meal as each family member cracks one in order to determine their fate for the next year.
France
Traditionally the French dine on a starter of fresh oysters served with rye bread and butter and lemon juice or shallot vinegar. Some households may also eat smoked salmon or escargots (snails). This dish is then followed by a second starter of Coquilles St Jacques (Scallops with mushrooms and white wine).
Italy
After the meatless day before Christmas, Italians often enjoy a delicious Christmas dinner that includes other meats. From lamb to roast beef, turkey or pork, Italians often include foods other than fish on their tables on Christmas day. Salads and antipasto are often the first course. Broccoli, eggplant, peppers and other vegetables are featured in side dishes. Pasta’s, a staple of Italian cooking, are also included on the big day, in baked dishes or as homemade vermicelli. Crostini, a dry toasted bread, is often included in the meal. Fruits and nuts may also make an appearance as well as desserts and sweets. Try your hand at making belfanini an anise flavored cookie.
Puerto Rico
Popular dishes include roast pig, rice and pea dishes, coquito or eggnog made with rum and coconut milk, coconut custard, fried plantains, and nuts. Many families also celebrate with unique dishes only made during the holiday season.
Sweden
Swedish Julafton (Christmas Eve dinner) typically consists of a smorgasbord with julskinka (a type of Christmas ham), lutefisk (pickled pigs feet), dried codfish, sliced gravlax (raw salmon cured in salt, sugar and dill), pickled herring and an assortment of sweets.
Norway
They enjoy pinnekjøtt which is salted lamb ribs for the main course. To compliment the meat they tend to eat mashed rutabaga (also known as swede) which is kind of like our turnips. Another favorite meat at Christmas is the lambs head to go along with the lamb ribs. This is boiled and salted (minus the brains) and the head is eaten from front to back with the tongue and eye muscles being particularly yummy cuts.
Czech Republic
Christmas is a very religious and peaceful time in the Czech Republic and everyone fasts for one day in the run up to the Christmas meal. They then start with a fish soup which is followed by the tradition of carp. This is often accompanied by a potato salad including onions, cooked carrots, pickled gherkins, cooked eggs and mayonnaise. This is prepared on Christmas Eve and allowed to ‘mellow’ for a day before eating. YUM?????
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You see what I mean about Scandinavia. Truly some acquired tastes there. I hope you’re finished with your shopping and are preparing to relax and enjoy the holiday. I know, I know, who am I kidding. You’re probable a bunch of Christmas Eve shoppers who get off on the big crowds and incidental body contact. Another unusual Christmas tradition that started in NYC on the subways. LOL
When’s the last time you found it necessary to visit your local ER (Emergency Room)? Due to my law enforcement background I’ve found it necessary to visit them many times. On it’s best day it’s a terrible place. The people that work there are amazing but that constant stream of injured and dying humanity weighs heavily on a person. In my experience hospital workers are much like cops who develop a bizarre sense of humor necessitated by the constant shadow of death and injuries they must deal with.
What I have for you today is a list of actual quotations received in ER’s across this country. I’ve tried to collect the humorous or silly but that isn’t really the point of this posting.
I’ve been bitching and complaining about Obamascare for many months as are many others. Our own government has done it’s studies and has already determined that healthcare costs will soon be skyrocketing. Read the following information not as medical humor but the reason for much of that anticipated cost increase. Our ER’s are overrun with nonsensical requests from a wide variety of people. We have the homeless, the illegals, and members of many state Medicaid organizations. You come in with a simple rash on your ass and by the time you leave the ER they’ve run a few thousand dollars worth of unnecessary tests which are then charged back to state or federal government agencies. In my opinion it’s just a simple way for hospitals to attempt to recoup some of their ER expenses.
Think back to the days of old when hospital Emergency Rooms were actually for emergencies. Today’s ER’s more closely resemble flophouses, child care facilities or places to lounge around. Welcome to our new reality.
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“I ran out of liquor so I decided to detox.”
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”I smoked some bad crack and now I feel dizzy.”
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”I stepped on a Nazi landmine and felt all the bones in my legs sucked out.”
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”My arm tingles on Wednesdays.”
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”I’ve had back pain for seven years.”
- " My pussy is sad."
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”See any bugs in my hair, I asked someone who wasn’t high to look and he saw them too.”
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”My dog ate my toe.”
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”I have gentile warts.”
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“I got a Cadillac in my eye.”
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”I drank a bunch of yellow Listerine and feel sick. I was careful not to drink the green kind ’cause that can make you toxic.”
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"My sweat stinks."
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"My chest hurt the other day so I took some crack to make it feel better. I didn’t think it worked"
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"My clit is swollen."
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”I have friction burns on my penis.”
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"I have bumps on my butt part and pee hole."
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"I got a thang on my hang-low"
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"I have a rash that isn’t here right now, but sometimes it shows up in the evening, I went to the dermatologist but it disappeared again when we got there."
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”My left ear tingles on Tuesdays.”
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"The tip of my tongue has been burning for three years."
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"I have little bumps on my clit."
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"I have little bugs in my vagina."
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"I need a rectal."
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"One of my labia is bigger than the other"
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"My kitty got the stank."
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“My baby done drank a strawberry douche."
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"I’ve got a pager up my ass."
There’s a quick look at our future. How this healthcare fiasco was ever passed through Congress is the question we should be asking. Get out your wallets folks and prepare to pay through the nose for the rest of your life.
Have a wonderful day.
As I promised a week or so ago, if I found any interesting tidbits of useless information and trivia, I would pass them along to you. I have a few here that are obscure, a little strange, but as best I can determine accurate. Read them and remember them because you never know when you might get caught up in a vicious game of Trivial Pursuit. A number of these items were researched by the late great Isaac Asimov. He was one of the smartest men alive in his day and had a habit of collecting and researching odd tidbits of information. Enjoy!
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Drilling an oil well 5 miles deep requires drilling night and day, seven days a week, for as long as 500 days.
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The total population of the earth at the time of Julius Caesar was 150 million. The total population increase in two years on earth today is 150 million.
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During the next minute, 100 people will die 240 will be born. The world’s population problem increases by a 140 people per minute.
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Many years ago a Harvard student on his way home to visit his parents fell between two railroad cars at the station in Jersey City, New Jersey, and was rescued by an actor on his way to visit his sister in Philadelphia. The student was Robert Lincoln, heading for 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The actor was Edwin Booth the brother of the man who a few weeks later would murder the students father.
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There are 2,500,000 rivets in the Eiffel Tower.
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There is a salt mine in the Polish town of Wieliczka, near Cracow, that has been in operation for nearly 1000 years.
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While Columbus was seeking new worlds to the West, Italian engineers were rebuilding the Kremlin in Moscow.
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There are more than 100 distinct ethnic groups in the Soviet Union.
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Every cubic mile of seawater holds over 150,000,000 tons of minerals. There are 350,000,000 cubic miles of seawater on the planet.
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It was proposed in the Rhode Island legislature in the 1970’s that there be enacted a two dollar tax on every act of sexual intercourse.
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Morocco was the first country to officially recognize the United States in 1789.
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Some Eskimos use refrigerators to keep their food from freezing.
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In 1978, more than 1000 deer were accidentally killed in Connecticut by automobile drivers. Only 948 were killed by hunters.
Well there you have it. More useless information for you to cram into your brain so you can amaze your friends and family and possibly win a few bar bets. More to come I’m sure.
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