Archive for the ‘taco bell’ Tag
Here are a few samples of some silly things that prompt many of the posts I write on current societal changes. Some I’ve personally experienced, and others were reported to me by friends, readers, and co-workers. God help us all.
- In a semi-rural area. a new neighbor called the local town hall administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Too many deer were being hit by cars, and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
- Once at a local Taco Bell a taco was ordered. I requested “minimal lettuce.” The server said he was sorry, but they only had “Iceberg”.
- At the airport check-in an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything into your baggage without your knowledge?” I said, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled and nodded knowingly, “That’s why we ask.”
- The stoplight at the intersection buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine (in my opinion), when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled “What on earth are blind people doing driving?”
- At a good-bye lunch for a coworker who was leaving the company due to “downsizing” our manager spoke up and said, “This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often.” Not another word was spoken.
- I once worked with an individual who plugged her computer power strip back into itself and couldn’t understand why her system wouldn’t turn on.
- Upon arriving at an automobile dealership to pick up my car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. The service department had a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger’s side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it’s open.” The young man answered, “I already got that side.”
IT’S A MILLENNIAL SPRING
I Feel Better Already
‘BELATED’
For the first time in many years I made it through an April Fool’s Day without being tricked or screwed with. I’ve never really understood why a specific prank day is necessary when everyday has potential for it.
The normal pranks that I’ve experienced were simple gags or tricks made by my ever so simple friends and workmates. Fortunately I was never subjected to anything too complicated for the most part.
I decided to list a few pranks played by individuals and companies that have become legends. To this day it still amazes me just how gullible the public can be when confronted with an obviously false story. Like P.T. Barnum always said "There’s a sucker born every minute". Let’s start with the famous Taco Bell entry.
The Taco Liberty Bell
April 1, 1996: The Taco Bell Corporation took out a full-page ad that appeared in six major newspapers announcing it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.
The Sydney Iceberg
April 1, 1978: A barge towing a giant iceberg appeared in Sydney Harbor. Dick Smith, a local adventurer and millionaire businessman, had been loudly promoting his scheme to tow an iceberg from Antarctica for quite some time. Now he had apparently succeeded. He said that he was going to carve the berg into small ice cubes, which he would sell to the public for ten cents each. These well-traveled cubes, fresh from the pure waters of Antarctica, were promised to improve the flavor of any drink they cooled. Slowly the iceberg made its way into the harbor. Local radio stations provided blow-by-blow coverage of the scene. Only when the berg was well into the harbor was its secret revealed. It started to rain, and the firefighting foam and shaving cream that the berg was really made of washed away, uncovering the white plastic sheets beneath.
Burger King’s Left Handed Whopper
April 1, 1998: Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own ‘right handed’ version." Left-handed products of various kinds are actually an old joke on April first, but Burger King’s announcement quickly became, by far, the most famous version of the joke.
The Body of Nessie of Loch Ness Fame Found
April 1, 1972: Newspapers around the world reported the sensational news that the dead body of the Loch Ness Monster had been found. A team of zoologists from Yorkshire’s Flamingo Park Zoo had come across it while working at the Loch. The researchers tried to take the Nessie corpse back to Yorkshire, but Scottish police promptly stopped them, citing an old law that made it illegal to remove "unidentified creatures" from Loch Ness. However, subsequent examination of the creature determined that it wasn’t actually Nessie. Instead, it was a large bull elephant seal from the South Atlantic. But how had it gotten to Loch Ness? This was revealed the next day when the Flamingo Park’s education officer, John Shields, confessed responsibility. The seal had died the week before at Dudley Zoo. He had shaved off its whiskers, padded its cheeks with stones, and kept it frozen for a week, before surreptitiously dumping it in the Loch, intending to play an April Fool’s prank on his colleagues. He admitted the joke got somewhat out of hand when the police became involved.
Not only are we Americans gullible, apparently everyone else on this planet is as well. I can’t wait to see future prank offerings that are sure to be accepted hook, line, and sinker by many of us stupid human beings.
Using all of my past years of people watching as reference material I’ve come to the conclusion there must be one helluva lot of people in this world who are neat-freaks and germaphobes. There must be hundreds of thousands of us out there because we seem to be mentioned in every TV show and movie there is. Someone’s always mentioned as being "so anal" or “too anal”. It irritates me only because I’m one of them. I’m a certifiable neat-freak and proud of it and have been for years. I’m also reasonably sure that we neat-freaks aren’t nearly as crazy as those damn germaphobes.
* * *
If you aren’t either a neat-freak or germaphobe you may become one after reading the following tidbits of information. More useless and somewhat disgusting information you probably don’t really want to know. Enjoy it anyway.
-
Bottled water is rarely tested for purity. An Environmental Working Group study found that ten popular brands were riddled with chemicals and pollutants, some as high as regular tap water.
-
About 99% of imported food is never inspected by the FDA or USDA, the two agencies responsible for protecting Americans from tainted products.
-
One pound of peanut butter can contain up to 150 bug fragments and five rodent hairs.
-
One in five coffee mugs contains fecal bacteria and E.coli, which can cause diarrhea, food poisoning, and infections.
-
Vegetarians beware: many low-fat and non-fat yogurts and sweets contain gelatin, which is made from animal tendons, ligaments, and bones.
-
Peaches, apples, nectarines, and strawberries are among the top six "dirtiest" foods, according to investigations by the Environmental Working Group. More than 90 percent of samples of these fruits tested positive for detectable pesticides, even after being rinsed or peeled.
-
Red-colored grocery items like fruit punch and strawberry yogurt are often dyed with carmine, which is made from ground up cochineal beetles. For some, carmine can cause severe allergic reactions and even lead to anaphylactic shock.
-
A diet high in processed meats like sausage, hot dogs, and luncheon meats increases the risk of pancreatic cancer. Chemical reactions that occur during the preparation of these meats yield carcinogens, which could be responsible for the association.
-
The well know poison arsenic is approved by the FDA as an additive to poultry feed and given to at least 70 percent of chickens raised for consumption in the United States.
-
A medium fruit-and-yogurt smoothie at Dunkin’ Donuts contains four times as much sugar as a chocolate frosted cake donut.
In 2008, a Nebraska policeman was awarded $40,000.00 after he sued Taco Bell/KFC restaurant that served his family food containing an employee’s urine and spit.
That’s about enough information for me. Ugh………. Gag me with a spoon.
everyuselessthing.com 