05-08-2013   Leave a comment

A few days ago I posted a bit of humor about men visiting Lowes at different stages of their lives.  I tag these types of posts as humor but as always there are a few of you out there who insist on taking things as a personal attack.  I received a somewhat smarmy email from a gentleman in Canada who took me to task for having made men look too foolish.  I won’t assume anything about someone who sees a posting described as humor and then takes time out of his busy day to write an email complaining about the humor. He truly must be a Canadian.

Being the fair minded individual that I am I’ll dedicate this HUMEROUS post in his honor with the hopes he has a women in his life who can explain it to him.  If I’m going to receive stupid and inane emails I’d prefer them to be from women.   As a warning to all of you folks in Canada, THIS POSTING CONTAINS HUMOR.  Be on your guard.

What Woman Desire in Men

20’s

  • Handsome
  • Works Out Regularly
  • Charming
  • Financially Successful
  • A Caring Listener
  • An Imaginative and Romantic Lover

30’s

  • Nice Looking
  • Listens More Than Talks
  • Smells Good
  • Carries Groceries With Ease
  • Owns at Least One Tie
  • Requires Sex Once a Week

40’s

  • Not Too Ugly – Bald OK
  • Doesn’t Smell Too Bad
  • Usually Wears a Shirt to Cover His Stomach
  • Remembers to Put the Toilet Lid Down
  • Shaves on Most Weekends
  • Requires Sex Once a Month

50’s

  • Keeps Hair in Nose and Ears Trimmed
  • Doesn’t Belch or Scratch in Public
  • Doesn’t Nod Off While I’m Talking
  • Remembers My Name
  • Shaves on Some Weekends
  • Requires Sex Once a Quarter

60’s

  • Remembers Where the Bathroom Is
  • Can Stand By Himself
  • Usually Wears Some Clothes
  • Social Security Eligible
  • Remembers Where He Left His Teeth
  • Vaguely Remembers Sex

70’s

  • Collecting Social Security
  • Can Still Drive
  • Breathing
  • Breathing
  • Breathing
  • Breathing

There you have it ladies.  If you find any omissions or errors please drop me a comment or email with the particulars.  I’ll immediately forward them to my new Canadian friend for his thoughts on the matter.  I’m just kidding of course.  My only message for Ontario Joe is BITE ME!

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