It’s sunny outside. I’m not quite sure how it happened but it’s an effing miracle. I’m sitting here basking in the sun as I read through some of the thousands of limericks I have on file. Today’s limericks are not for the youngsters or those overly sensitive and chaste virgins. They were apparently written in the early 1980’s when an off-color sense of human was more acceptable. For a change these are a little bawdy but in a cute and funny way and I hope you enjoy them.

💥💥💥

An obese old broker named Kip

Took a very fat girl on a trip.

He was talking of stock

When he put in his cock.

At the end she said: “Thanks for the tip.”

🤪🤪🤪

There was a young lady from Ghent,

Who said she knew what it meant,

When a man asked her to dine,

Fed her whiskey and wine.

She knew what it meant – but she went.

😎😎😎

There was a young lecher named Lapp,

Who thought condoms were just so much crap.

Said he: “All of us he-men

Like to scatter our semen.”

Three weeks later he still had the clap.

🙃🙃🙃

A virgin emerged from her bath

In a state of righteous wrath,

For she’d been deflowered

When she bent over as she showered,

And the handle was right in the path.

💥💥💥

RATED PG

(Thanks Ray Allen Billington)