With the holiday season in full swing I thought I should offer up some of my own holiday-spirit poetry original written in the 1920’s and 1930’s. A few off-color rhymes to help celebrate this holiest of seasons (sarcasm off) in my own special way. These should be rated “PG” so keep the kids away if you can.

1927

There was a young lady named Maud
A terrible society fraud.
In company, I’m told
She was awfully cold.
But if you got her alone, Oh My God!

1939

There was a young man from Purdue
Who was only just learning to screw,
but he hadn’t the knack,
And he got too far back
In the right church, but the wrong pew.

1938

There was a young man of high station
Who was found by a pious relation
Making love in a ditch
To – I won’t say a bitch –
But a woman of no reputation.

1940

In the shade of the old apple tree
Where between her fat legs I could see
A little brown spot
With the hair in a knot,
And it certainly looked good to me.

💥💥💥

And here’s my favorite, a salute from my birth year (1946) to all my Texas readers.

A girl named Alice, in Dallas,

Had never felt of a phallus.

She remained virgo intacto,

Because, ipso facto,

No phallus in Dallas fit Alice.

❤️❤️❤️