We’re three days into the new year which naturally demands a fresh batch of cute and bawdy limericks. These might be considered unacceptable for the younger children so DON’T LET THEM READ THEM. I’d rate them as “PG”, so consider yourself warned. Here we go . . .

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There was a young sailor named Bates

Who did the fandango on skates.

He fell on his cutlass

Which rendered him nutless

And practically useless on dates.

💥💥

I lost my arm in the army,

I lost my leg in the navy,

I lost my balls

Over Niagra Falls,

And I lost my cock in a lady.

💥💥💥

A lady both athletic and handsome

Got wedged in her bedrooms transom.

When she offered much gold

For release, she was told

That the view was worth more than the ransom.

💥💥💥💥

There was a young maid from Madras

Who had a magnificent ass;

Not rounded and pink,

As you’d probably think –

It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.

💥💥✝️💥💥

And here’s a fav from a long-term recovering Catholic.

❤️❤️❤️

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,

Complacently stroking his madam,

And loud was his mirth

For on all of the earth

There were only two balls – and he had’em.

❤️❤️❤️

HAPPY NEW YEAR