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CNN ‘Reliable Sources’ Panel Blames Americans for Biden’s Sagging Approval Rating

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   4 comments

There once was a woman named Bess
For whom holiday cooking meant stress.
Five puddings, ten turkeys
And a thousand beef jerkeys –
Bess did tend to cook to excess!

12/11/2021 Meaningless Question #1   Leave a comment

Why are hamburgers called “HAM” burgers?

Today I was sitting quietly at home thinking seriously about our previous night’s dinner. As a last resort, when my better-half and I disagree on our evening meal, we have hamburgers and fries. We’ve become quite creative with that meal whether it’s cooked on the grill, in the air-fryer, pan fried or on the grill on the deck. I’m not a big red meat eater and under normal circumstances (not birthdays or holidays) I prefer chicken and fish. Burgers are my go-to meal or comfort food if you prefer, and yes, there is no ham in hamburgers . . . Ever!

Due to my idle curiosity, I did some searching to be sure I was correct, here’s what I found:

The popular book The Art of Cookery Made Plain and Easy by Hannah Glasse included a recipe in 1758 as “Hamburgh sausage”, which suggested to serve it “roasted with toasted bread under it”. A similar snack was also popular in Hamburg, Germany, by the name “Rundstück warm” (“bread roll warm”) in 1869 or earlier, and supposedly eaten by many emigrants on their way to America.

There always seems to be a rush by dozens of Americans to claim they invented the “burger” and everything else for that matter. Don’t forget the Russians and French who always insist they’ve invented or created just about anything you can think of. Too bad boys, Germany wins this contest.

My own favorite is a one-half pound well-seasoned burger on a whole grain toasted bun. Medium rare, topped with hot pickled jalapenos, mayo, a layer of mushrooms, a layer of sharp cheddar cheese, a slab of red onion, and hold the lettuce. Old school fries on the side, hot and crispy with Heinz 57. I’ll have that just about any time.

FYI

13 Shopping Days

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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

12/10/2021 What Should I Insure ??   Leave a comment

We are deep into the Christmas season now and I’m sure that the great majority of people everywhere are spending and spending and spending. The holidays tend to put a strain on everyone’s purse especially those people with children. I thought I’d like to lighten the mood a little bit and tell you a few facts I happened upon in a book I was reading recently. As you also know I love writing about celebrities and alleged celebrities and all of their quirks and odd behaviors and that’s what I’m going to do today.

For those of us on the not-so-famous list, the following items might seem a bit much. Apparently in Hollywood their personal budgets are a touch higher than ours, and their interests are totally different. I insure my 12-year-old car, my house, my smart phone, and a sizable annual cost to protect all of my computers, tablets, and laptops. Let me now give you a list of some of your favorite celebrities, present and past, and the things they insure, it’s mind-boggling. Here we go . . .

  • American country and western singer and actress, Dolly Parton, insured her legendary boobs for $600,000.
  • Rolling Stones guitarist, Keith Richards, insured his right index finger for $1.6 million.
  • Australian cricket hero, Merv Hughes, insured his mustache for $38,000.
  • In 2006, soccer player, David Beckham, insured his entire body for $190 million.
  • German supermodel, actress, and singer, Heidi Klum, insured her legs for $2.2 million.
  • American actress, Jamie Lee Curtis, insured her legs for $1 million.
  • Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatley, insured his legs for $47.5 million.
  • American rockstar, Bruce Springsteen, insured his voice for $6 million.

I hope you don’t think this is anything unusual, because it isn’t. The habit of celebrities insuring body parts goes back many years. The numbers were a little smaller “back in the day” but at the time it was still a great deal of money. Here’s some oldies but goodies . . .

  • American dancer and film star, Fred Astaire, had his legs insured for $75,000 each.
  • British stripper, Frankie Jakeman, insured his penis for $1.6 million.
  • 20th Century Fox film star, Betty Grable, insured each of her legs for $1 million. Hence the origin of the phrase, “million-dollar legs”.
  • German cabaret artist, singer, and film star, Marlene Dietrich, insured her voice for $1 million.
  • American actress, Bette Davis, took out a $28,000 insurance policy against putting on weight.
  • American singer and actor, Jimmy Durante, insured his nose for $50,000.
  • Hungarian food critic, Egon Ronay, insured his taste buds for $400,000.
  • In 1964, the Beatles, were insured for $1 million on their first US tour.

There you have it folks. Be glad you only have to insure your house, car, children, smartphones, computers, and those pesky life insurance policies for you and your spouse. As you can see it could be a lot worse if you’re one of the famous people. I certainly don’t feel sorry for them and I’m pretty sure you don’t either.

14 Shopping Days Left

12/09/2021 More Christmas Humor   Leave a comment

One cold winter morning, during the Christmas season, a mailman was doing his route. As he was delivering all the Christmas cards, he came to a house and realized that they had so much mail that it wouldn’t fit in the box, so he decided to knock on the door. As the door was answered, a beautiful blond woman stood staring at him. The mailman said, “I’m sorry for bothering you, but I couldn’t get all your mail into your box, so here it is.”

The woman looked at him and said, “Why don’t you come in and take a break – it’s cold outside!” The mailman agreed and stepped into the house. A few minutes later, the woman says, “since it’s Christmas, I have an idea. Let’s go upstairs and make love!” The woman was quite beautiful, so the mailman followed her.

After a while, the two came back down the stairs. The mailman said, “Wow, that was great, but I must be getting back to my route.” The lady replied, “Oh, don’t go yet, let’s have some breakfast!” She then opened the door to the dining room and the table was covered with food and Christmas goodies. After the meal, the mailman said, “Okay, I’ve really got to go!” The woman replied, “Well, thank you very much.” and handed him a one-dollar bill.

The mailman was really confused. “What’s going on here? You invite me in, make love to me, cook me a great breakfast, then hand me a dollar!” The woman replied, “Well, I asked my husband the other day what he thought we should give the mailman for Christmas. He said, oh, screw him! Give’em a dollar!’ But breakfast was my idea!”

15 MORE SHOPPING DAYS

Posted December 9, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

With the holidays on the horizon,

I placed 20 calls to Verizon.

They stuck me on hold

Til my dinner got cold.

And I still absolutely despise them.

12/08/2021 Letters to Santa   Leave a comment

One of my favorite things to do during the holidays is surfing the web and reading letters to Santa from the younger children. Most of these letters are from kids in the second and third grade from cities across the country. Enjoy them, they’ll bring a smile to your face like they did to mine.

  • I hope I am on the good list. I hope the reindeer get enough food. Please thank the elves because they have been working hard. I hope you like my cookies. For Christmas I would like an iPad. I would like an iPhone too. Have a safe trip. From, Allison
  • I want surprise presents. I want my cousin Barchetta to have a puppy and my dog to have a squeeze toy and a coat to keep my dog warm. I really want my little cousin Natalia to be nice and happy and it presents. I want a PSP game and the game for the PSP. I also would like this Christmas to be awesome for the whole town. Sincerely, Danna
  • I take great care of the toys you got me. All I would like for Christmas is for it to snow and forth to be a happy Christmas. It’s okay if I get toys. I do want them, but I want a happy Christmas more. I saw a route off last year. What is your favorite kind of cookies? We’ll make sure you bring a happy Christmas. Sincerely, Camrynn
  • I hope you like the cookies I made. I have been good this year. I hope the reindeer get enough food. I hope you have a safe trip. I wish you a Merry Christmas. Love, Elizabeth
  • Can you make it snow at night? How are the reindeer? Hmmm . . . I would like a remote-control airplane. I would like an iPhone maybe. I would like to make people happy at Christmas. Could I have surprise gifts? Merry Christmas Santa. Sincerely Katarina
  • I think I’ve been really good this year. I hope you like our chimney. It is very wide. I hope you have a Merry Christmas! I hope you like the cookies. I hope you like my letter. I love you Santa. From, Natalie
  • I want you to surprise me. My mom said when she was little she got surprised by you. So I am trying it this year. I can’t wait till you come. How hard you work in your workshop? I hope you have a great Christmas. I am going to have a great Christmas. Sincerely, Abigail

In my humble opinion Christmas, the gift giving holiday, is mainly for the young children. Christmas, the birth of Christ holiday, is for everyone. I hope you and yours enjoy both sides of the holiday and prosper in the new year.

DEAR SANTA, I WANT A RED CORVETTE – LOVE, JOHN

There’s a bottle of Tequila under the tree.

16 Shopping Days

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London Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

When Rudolph got hurt in a fight
He couldn’t lead Santa that night
Too much Christmas cheer
And eggnog, and beer,
His red nose was shiny, all right!

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