Archive for the ‘cashiers’ Tag
Anyone who ever met my late father and had more than a two minute conversation with him was sure to have heard the term "Sh*t List". Some one was always being added to his never ending list and included almost anyone who ever annoyed or irritated him.
He and I disagreed on many things but I really loved the idea a list of people, places, or things that ruined my day in some fashion. My better-half and I adopted the practice a number of years ago and swore to each other to keep our candidates on the list only until they reversed their offensive actions. They could then be removed after a probationary period that included one additional visit from us showing remorse for their questionable actions or bad attitudes. It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it and there are times when I wish it wasn’t me.
Our list contains the names of dozens of retail cashiers and managers who were rude or just plain ignorant. In most cases that included the retailer they worked for and who permitted their bad behavior without taking appropriate action. Walmart has been on and off the list at least three times already and we been forced to keep a close eye on them. Home Depot was a regular offender until recently when their latest customer service program began producing excellent results.
If you’re wondering why I’m posting this information, let me explain. We consider it a public service to let people know where the places that suck are located. Today’s announcement concerns the Appleby’s restaurant located in Biddeford, Maine.
Four years ago we placed them on the list for their high prices and less than delicious food. Their waitresses were unfriendly and a bit snotty. We waited a few years until we’d heard of a major menu change to more of a bistro or sports bar style of food. After our next visit we were thrilled to remove them from the Sh*t List. Major improvements were observed in all categories.
I’m saddened to report that Appleby’s is once again back on the list. They seem to have become complacent once again and are backsliding into the proverbial dumpster. Since they’re a second time offender we won’t be returning for at least a year to check on them.
Being a public servant can be really inconvenient at times because we’re slowly running out of restaurants where we can eat.
WE ARE EQUAL OPPORTUNIT SH*T LISTERS
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I thought starting the month of December with part two of my review of “Things I Once Hated” would be appropriate. After working for a toy retailer for thirteen years, I once hated Christmas with a passion, but as you can see I continue to show improvement in some areas. Here are the next fifteen items.
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#11 Pierced Clits – While I think these body decorations can be interesting they also have the ability to be dangerous. I no longer hate them but I do think we males should be forewarned in some fashion as to the possible dangers to our equipment. 100% improvement.
#12 Large Groups of People – I still hate this. You can’t easily get over a phobia like this so there will never be improvement here.
#13 Old Gum Under Tables – No matter how good that old gum might taste I refuse to partake. It also sticks to the knees of my pants and I hate that. No improvement.
#14 Penis Tattooing – Just saying those two words make me cringe. I still hate unnecessary puncturing of the genitals for any reason and can’t be convinced otherwise. No improvement.
#15 Penn & Teller – Over the years my opinion on these two has changed a lot. I still think Penn is a big blowhard but I’ve taken a liking to Teller. He knows when to keep his mouth shut. 50% improvement.
#16 Dumb Cashiers – This problem is even worse now than it was when I initially made my list. No improvement to this everlasting annoyance.
#17 Stinky Feet – Unfortunately I still hate this. To my everlasting embarrassment I’ve become a contributor to this problem. I hate my own feet and how they reek. No improvement.
#18 Decomposition – My feelings about this go hand-in-hand with Funerals. Thank God for cremation because I don’t even like to think about being embalmed and left to rot. Creepy as hell if you ask me so there’s no improvement.
#19 Night Farts – I’ve had to modify my feeling somewhat on night farting. While I don’t mind my own I have some serious issues with my better-half. So I’ll just call that a 50% improvement.
#20 Bugs Crawling On Me – Absolutely no change here. I freaking hate it. No improvement.
#21 Tongue Studs – After giving this category a little more thought and doing a little field research I’m now all for them. See how much I’m growing and improving. 100% improvement.
#22 Hairy Bushes – This is a tough one. In Summer I hate them but in Winter I love them. I’m forced to declare an improvement of 50%. It’s just the right thing to do.
#23 Terrorists – Kill them all. No improvement.
#24 Overweight Pets – This category can’t really change. Owners are mostly responsible for this problem and need to change their ways. No improvement.
#25 Know-It-All’s – No change here either. These people make me want to scream and then kick their collective asses.
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That concludes my revisits to the first twenty five items on my list of one hundred. More to come in the next few weeks.
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I worked for two retail companies for a total of nineteen years which makes me something of an expert. I continue to be amazed at the poor hiring practices used by most retailers. They hire on the cheap and expect the world of those same inexperienced and poorly trained employees. Walmart is the largest retailer around and the stories from their stores are amazingly bizarre. They are just the tip of a gigantic and costly iceberg.
All of us have tales to tell about the odd, strange, and stupid behavior of cashiers from almost any chain or store you can think of. It has forced many companies to create cash register systems that are more and more complex. Their thought process is to make the registers so smart that it takes the guesswork out of the hands of the cashiers. It’s a great idea but doomed to failure. All that solution gives the store is an expensive and complex computer checkout system run by an eighteen year old inexperienced dumbass.
Here are a few stories I’ve found that make my point and then some.
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A cashier noticed that a man never signed his name on the back of his credit card. She informed him that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When he asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature he’d just signed on the receipt. So he took a pen and signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one he signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
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A young girl went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
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A woman was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" She said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That’s why we ask."
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At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear retail coworker who was leaving the company due to "down-sizing," the store manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. Everyone just looked at each other like “deer in the headlights”.
These problems exist across the board with every type of retailer. Kids who can’t make the proper change even after the register tells them the proper amount. I could make a twenty minute shopping trip to any store and have at least one good story to tell about employee screw-ups. If you can imagine how many errors are being made on a daily basis in this country, it gets a little scary.
This should be considered your PSA (Public Service Announcement) for today. Keep your eyes and ears open when shopping because not all mistakes cost just the company money. You could be losing money every time you shop if your not paying attention. Check your receipt before you leave the store for any obvious errors. Companies are notorious for putting prices on a sign near the product but forgetting to update the UPC system. It costs us millions of dollars every year and that’s a conservative estimate.
Buyer Beware!
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Everyday seems like an adventure to me and not always in a good way. I constantly people watch like everyone else but most things that make me the craziest occur in retail stores, specifically at the checkouts. I worked for retail companies for almost twenty years and hated every minute of it. Companies are always preaching "Good Customer Service" but it never seems to happen. The reason is simple. You need good people as customers to start with. Here’s a partial list of recent things that make me want to scream and run from the building.
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Store Checkout Lines – Just once I’d love to get into a checkout line and be rung out immediately and leave smiling and happy. I’ve been waiting for that for decades but it never seems to occur. It’s always the wrong lane for me. I could have one guy in front of me with six items and as soon as I line up behind him the cashier has to page for a price check or has to send an employee back into the store for a price because no one responded to the damn page. If it’s like this for everyone else then we have an even a bigger problem than I first thought.
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Express Lanes – Don’t even get me started. Fourteen items or twenty items, it doesn’t matter how many. I guarantee the person in front of me will have fifty freaking items. If you say something then you’re the asshole. If you don’t then you end up being pissed off all day and taking it out on someone else either in another store or at home.
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Line Jumpers – The store opens a new register when your third in line at a busy one. Before you can react, the people five places behind you in your line dash to the new register. I have a new term for you to mull over, "Store Rage". It’s these little things that begin to accumulate over the months and result in bigger and more interesting arguments at the most inopportune times.
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English Speaking Cashiers – I love diversity as much as the next guy but you can’t hire people who don’t know the language of the customers they’re taking care of. Simple right? I guess not. Part of the problem is that out of every five cashiers hired, four either fail the background check or the drug test.
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Chatty Cashiers – I hate to say this but they’re normally a chubby women in her fifties who wants to be everyone’s best friend and confidant. She spends more time yakking about stupid stuff than checking your purchases out. Please, shut the hell up, smile, and get me the hell out of the store.
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Stupid Customers- Don’t show up at the registers with a bunch of products that are either missing bar codes or price tags. Don’t ask the cashiers to do price checks for you while there are twenty people in line behind you. Could someone be any more ignorant? It happens all the time.
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Coupon Freaks – I love nothing better than being behind a women with forty items in her cart and a stack of thirty coupons that must be checked individually. The only thing worse is when the cashier discovers that more than half of the coupons are outdated or the customer is trying to scam her using incorrect products. Do your freaking shopping at three in the morning for God’s sake where you take all the time you like sorting through your bag full of coupons and the women with Food Stamps behind you can just wait. She’s probably just buying booze and cigarettes anyway.
I could continue this rant for another thirty paragraphs but I hope you’re getting my point. This posting was prompted by my last twenty visits to Walmart, Target, Kohl’s, and a host of others. I actually feel a lot better after venting like this but it’ll start building again as soon as I go shopping the next time. I really don’ t anticipate any improvement so expect another posting just like this in September. It’ll take that long to really piss me off again.
The straw that broke my back this time came to my attention from my better-half who still works for a major retailer. She’s front-end manager who’s required to babysit a large group of girls (not women) in their late teens and early twenties who really don’t want to work. They apparently live for drinking, partying, and screwing everyone they can get their hands on. The turnover is high as you’d expect but hiring really good employees is difficult when they pay slave wages. They recently hired a cashier who barely spoke English and who didn’t understand our monetary system. And they wonder why their customers are outraged when a cashier can’t make the correct change even after the register tells her how much it is.
I won’t even start with my experiences with the bastards using cell phones and texting while I wait impatiently in line behind them. Kill me I’m begging you.
Thank God for Amazon, Ebay, and Internet shopping.
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