Archive for the ‘diets’ Tag
I’m not entirely sure why being “first” is so important to so many of us. Everyone wants to be “first” not just in sporting events, but damn near everything. I was the “first” kid in my family to go to college, and it gave my parents something they used to impress their friends. I was also the “first” in the family to drop out of college and join the Army. I sure didn’t get any kudos for that move. Today I decided to research some “firsts” not just from the United States but worldwide. This is also the “first” time I’ve written about “firsts” on this blog. Let me be the “first” to congratulate myself for that.
- Barbra Streisand’s first performance was as a chocolate chip cookie.
- The first song Bruce Springsteen ever learned to play on the guitar was The Rolling Stones, “It’s All Over Now.”
- The first ready to eat breakfast cereal was Shredded Wheat in 1893 (it beat Kellogg’s Corn Flakes by just five years).
- The first scientifically planned slimming diet was devised in 1862 by Dr. Harvey, an ear specialist, for an overweight undertaker. At that time dieting was initially something that only men did, and women didn’t start to do it until they stopped wearing figure-altering corsets.
- The first dry cleaning was done in 1849 by a Monsieur Jolly-Bellin of France, who discovered the process by mistake when he upset a lamp over a newly laundered tablecloth and found that the part that was covered with alcohol from the lamp was cleaner than the rest.
- Peter Sellers was the first male to ever be featured on the cover of Playboy.
- Cuba Gooding Jr’s first job was as a dancer for Lionel Richie at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics.
- The world’s first traffic island was installed – at his own expense – by Colonel Pierrepoint outside his London club. It’s also ironic that he was later killed crossing over to it.
- Courtney Cox was the first person on U.S. TV ever to use the word period in an ad for Tampax.
- Gustav Mahler composed his first piece of music at the age of four, Sergei Prokofiev composed his first piece of music at age five, and Wolfgang Mozart was just eight when he composed his first symphony.
MAKE A LIST OF YOUR TEN “FIRSTS”
I was happy yesterday when the last of that surprise April snow storm melted away. Spring Fever immediately returned and thoughts of gardening and yard work filled my stupid head. I rushed to Lowes after making a list of supplies including a new grill, a grill cover, and eighty 50 lb. bags of assorted potting soils and dirt. I was in heaven for the remainder of the day even though none of the stuff wouldn’t be delivered until next week but I didn’t care. I slept well dreaming about warm weather and many other Springtime activities. When I awoke this morning it was snowing again. I’m such an idiot.
As I was watching the snow flakes fly buy the window I remembered something else that was scheduled for today that I wasn’t looking forward to either. My better-half and I decided a few weeks ago that it was time to get rid of all of the extra holiday and winter weight we’d accumulated. Today was the start of our new and improved weight loss program (sarcasm). If that doesn’t depress the crap out of you nothing will.
We did our weight-in’s separately because neither one of us wanted to announce the results to the other. It’s just too effing depressing. This next month is going to be more than a little difficult but absolutely necessary. We both want to be healthier and thinner but the road to those things is a bumpy one. Eat more salads, less carbs, less calories, no snacking, no candy, no dairy, no alcohol, and OMFG just shoot me now. I’ll keep you posted on our progress regardless of the results.
I took a walk around the property a few days ago and it always amazes me just how resilient the plants are. We have things sprouting everywhere regardless of the snow and colder temperatures. Here are a feel quick snaps.
‘Chives’
‘Daffodils’
‘Rhubarb’
THE FUN SPRING IS JUST BEGINNING
I love cooking, I love eating, and I also love living. If the experts out there are correct those three things are no longer compatible with each other. For most of my life I’ve had one group or another of so called experts explaining to me in great detail what in their opinion would shorten or end my life. I’m not talking about guns or knives or any type of weapon but food and other consumables.
I can’t drink the water because most of it contains harmful or deadly toxins that could be fatal with extended consumption. I can’t breath the air because it’s polluted with toxins that could give me a cancer. Those two things are basic to all life on the earth of which there is plenty but they could kill me. Do I stop consuming them? If I do I’ll die for sure. A seriously flawed conundrum.
Don’t eat eggs. They’ll cause your cholesterol to soar putting you at risk. Don’t eat bacon. It will kill you. No more red meat. It will kill you too. Don’t eat too much oil. It will kill you. No sugar. It will also kill you. No sugar substitutes. They’ll kill you too. Stop eating salt. It could kill you. Drink only low fat milk. Whole milk contains something that will kill you. No dairy products. They can kill you too. Don’t eat fish or seafood. Too much mercury. Don’t eat potato chips. They’ll kill you. No fried foods. They can kill you. No coffee. It can kill you.
Carbs are bad. Protein is bad. Oil is bad. Salt is bad. Sugar is bad. Water is bad. The air is bad. Being fat is bad. Being skinny is bad. Being too active is bad. Not being active enough is bad too. Drinking alcohol is bad. It will kill you. Smoking is evil. You will day a horrible death. Don’ eat sweets. They have sugar and will kill you.
I guess my point is that if you never want to die you should stop doing and eating all of the above things. Wait, that can’t be right. You’re going to die anyway.
Let’ try this. I could become a Vegan who eats nothing but bland unseasoned organic veggies. I’ll drink nothing but pure filtered water, wear a mask to filter the air, and never touch any food that tastes good or even looks good. I’ll exercise just enough to keep me healthy and skinny and never consume caffeine, drugs of any kind, alcohol, or sweets. People would praise me as someone doing things the natural way, the way things ought to be for the entire world. I’ll form research groups to reinforce my opinions and write books and sell DVD’s to become rich and influential. I’ll then use all of my money and influence to pressure politicians to pass laws that will force everyone to be healthy. Once the entire country has been converted then I’ll do everything in my power to convince the world. After I’ve become the voice of reason for all things health related, I’ll live just long enough to finally die. Just like everyone else.
All that effort and BS just to die like every other unhealthy person on the planet. Hardly seems worth the effort to me. Just give me a cold beer, a bag of chips, a good bacon and egg breakfast, a nice juicy salted steak with all the trimmings, and a good smoke and glass of brandy. Then I’ll be ready to die too.
I’ll rather die happy eating a banana split covered with whipped cream, nuts, and a huge cherry on top than being a stinky and unhappy dead Vegan. If I’m gonna go I want it to be on my own terms. It’s something called freedom of which we have very little these days.
Bon Appetite
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