Archive for the ‘fbi’ Tag
I thought I’d try something a little different today. I usually have lists of trivia facts about all sorts of topics and at times they can be interesting, funny, and every so often downright weird. Today’s trivia is a little more on the darker side but still interesting. Here are ten bits of trivia that’ll make you think and possibly shudder a little.
- Howard Hughes at times wore empty tissue boxes as shoes. He also blew his nose in his socks.
- Napoleon Bonaparte was afraid of cats, but he wasn’t alone: other ailurophobe’s included Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, and Julius Caesar.
- Actress Cybill Shepherd dated Elvis Presley in the early 1970s and once hinted on the Oprah Winfrey show that she had to teach the singer how to perform cunnilingus.
- And here are two Osbourne family tidbits. Kelly Osbourne once expressed interest in posing nude for Playboy, but said that her breasts would need “some airbrushing.” Playboy founder Hugh Hefner later replied, “We don’t airbrush to that extent.”
- Sharon Osbourne, wife of the late great Ozzy Osbourne, once admitted to sending her own excrement wrapped in Tiffany boxes to several people who criticized her family. When a journalist criticized her teenage children, Jack and Kelly, Ms. Osborne sent a box of excrement with a note that read, “I heard you got an eating disorder. Eat this.“
- After his death in 1955, Elbert Einstein’s brain was removed and kept in a jar by Thomas Stoltz Harvey, the pathologist who conducted Einstein’s autopsy. Harvey was later fired from his job at Princeton Hospital for refusing to relinquish the organ.
- Once upon a time an Italian stripper suffocated to death after waiting an hour to jump out of a sealed cake at a bachelor party.
- The Cannibal Killer, Dorangel Vargas, The Hannibal Lector of the Andes, told the press that he preferred the taste of men to women, and never ate hands, feet, or testicles. “I have standards, you know”, said Vargas.
- The FBI estimates that more than half a million pedophiles are online every day.
- Television remote controls are the worst carriers of bacteria in hospital rooms; they spread antibiotic resistant Staphylococcus, which contributes to the 90,000 annual deaths from infection acquired in hospitals.
ENJOY YOUR DAY
I really do try to avoid writing about politics and politicians. No matter what you write your going to piss off a great many people. I’ve always found politics to be a necessary evil but I avoid political discussions religiously and religious discussions politically. It can be a great source of humor which is it’s biggest selling point for me. I do miss the days of Marion Barry in DC and his constant stream of misstatements and BS. I prayed that he would eventually run for Congress and be elected because the shit-storm he could have caused would’ve had me laughing for years. In his honor I dedicate this post of some of his most incredibly stupid quotes and nose-sniffing behavior. It makes me very nostalgic.
- “I’m providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raised . . .”
- “The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather.”
- “I promise you a police car on every sidewalk.”
- “I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria, or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?”
- “What we have here is an egregemous miscarriagement of taxitude.”
- “Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
- “There are two kinds of truth. There are real truths, and there are made-up truths.”
- I am a great mayor, I am an outstanding Christian man, I am an intelligent man, I am a deeply educated man, and I’m a humble man.”
My Fav
“What right does Congress have to go around
making laws just because they deem it necessary.”
*****
HATE OR LOVE HIM??
I’m a former vet who proudly served. Since then, I’ve maintained an interest in all things military. As much as all of the new high-tech equipment is interesting, I still lean towards the past history of wars and warfare. It’s always good to know all of the small details of warfare to give you an accurate picture of why wars occurred and what steps had to be taken to end them.
- The Spartans used a staff and a coil of paper to keep military messages from being decoded if they fell into the hands of the enemy. Rolled around the staff, the words fit together and made sense. Unrolled, the paper was covered with gibberish. Each general had a carefully guarded staff of precisely the same diameter around which to roll the paper and read the message.
- During World War II, the Federal Bureau of investigation secretly established a house of male prostitution in New York’s Greenwich Village. The house staffed multilingual agents for the purpose of extracting import shipping information from foreign sailors. The FBI later claimed it had been a very successful operation.
- By the end of World War II, there wasn’t a German spy in Great Britain who was not under British control. All either were cooperating with the British while maintaining their German “alliance” or had been caught and “turned around”.
- During World War II, the United States Navy had a world champion chess player, Reuben Fine, calculate on the basis of positional probability where enemy submarines might surface. Dr. Fine said, it worked out all right.
- The Federal Bureau of Investigation captured eight German saboteurs shortly after they came ashore from a U-boat off eastern Long Island in 1942. Six were executed and two imprisoned. It turns out that one of those imprisoned, the expedition’s leader, was an anti-Nazi and had tipped off the FBI. He was promised that he be jailed for only six months, but he got instead, a 90-year prison term.
- Bismarck tricked the French into the Franco-Prussian War by altering a telegram from the King of Prussia. He struck out the king’s consolatory words, so that the telegram sounded belligerent. The result was what the Iron Chancellor had intended, a French declaration of war, followed by a German victory.
- Mata Hari, the Dutch-Javanese dancer who became the most famous spy of World War I, ordered that a suit be especially tailored for her for the occasion of her execution by a French firing squad. She also wore a new pair of white gloves.
WAR IS HELL, BUT PEACETIME IS A MOTHER F**KER
Being a collector of useless information and all types of odd trivia, I offer for your enjoyment today the following list of really strange occurrences and/or coincidences. I’ve firmly believed for years that there are no such things as coincidences but maybe these will prove me wrong.
- The Surete, the French precursor and modern counterpart of the FBI, was founded in 1812 by a man who was once named Public Enemy Number One. Eugene-Francois Vidocq, a thief and outlaw, evaded the police for years, turned police spy, joined the force as a detective, and used his knowledge of crime to establish a new crime fighting organization, the Surete.
- The carpenter who built the first stocks in Boston in 1634, a man named Palmer, was the first to occupy them. He was charged with over-billing the town elders for the construction, found guilty, and sentenced to spend a half-hour in the stocks he had recently completed.
- To help determine on what floor it should have its offices in one of the two World Trade Center towers, a Japanese company hired a soothsayer to throw dice.
- A Harvard student on his way home to visit his parents fell between two railroad cars in Jersey City, New Jersey, and was rescued by an actor on his way to visit his sister in Philadelphia. The student was Robert Lincoln, heading to the White House to visit his father. The actor was Edwin Booth, the brother of the man who in a few weeks would murder the student’s father.
- The celebrated seventeenth-century pirate William Kidd was a wealthy landowner in New York state.
- Mark Twain was born in 1835 when Halley’s comet appeared. He predicted he would die when Halley’s comet next returned to scare everyone – and he did, in 1910. The comet returned again in 1986.
- U.S. Congressmen expressed surprise on learning in 1977 that it takes fifteen months of instruction at the Pentagon’s School of Music to turn out a bandleader but merely thirteen months to train a jet pilot.
- Eleven days before the statute of limitations was to expire on the three-million-dollar Brink’s bank robbery in Boston in 1950, one of the robbers confessed and betrayed his fellow robbers.
- During the Gold Rush days in California, Charlie Parkhurst was a stagecoach driver, taking passengers and gold shipments along dangerous roads. Charlie smoked cigars, chewed tobacco, played cards, drank and at one time shot dead two highwaymen. On December 31, 1879, Charlie was found dead at his home. As they were dressing the body for burial it was discovered that Charlie Parkhurst was a woman.
- The slave, Henry Brown escaped from Virginia in 1858 by hiding (with a box of biscuits and a bladder of water) in a box that was shipped from Richmond to Philadelphia. There, he popped out into “the free world.” He was forever after known as “Box” Brown.
Here is a message from my new 2023 calendar that specializes in profanity laced sayings.
January 5 – CHASE YOUR BIG F*****G DREAMS
When I woke up this morning, I immediately decided to ignore Christmas for a few more days. The decision was caused by a combination of things but primarily due to the last 25 Christmas Rom-Com’s I had to watch at the insistence of my better half. One more passionate but interrupted kiss and I will run screaming from the room. Let’s just amuse ourselves for a little while longer before the Christmas elf makes the next 2 weeks a green and red nightmare.
- The insults “moron, “idiot”, “imbecile,” and “cretin” were all once official medical diagnoses.
- The penis of a Barnicle may reach up to 20 times its body size.
- The highest possible legal score on a first turn in Scrabble is given by the word “muzjiks,” scoring 128 points. The world record for the highest score on a single turn is “quixotry” for 365 points.
- The FBI had a 1427-page dossier on Albert Einstein.
- “Queueing” is the only word in English with five consecutive vowels.
- A cow burps up to 280 liters of methane per day.
- Two thirds of the world’s people never seen snow.
- Woodrow Wilson is the only president to have had a PhD.
- Aldous Huxley died on the same day John F. Kennedy was assassinated.
- From a height of 3 kilometers, it takes 30 minutes for a snowflake to reach the ground.
- In the United States, 12% of women with MBAs are divorced or separated, compared with 5% of men with MBAs.
- In any given day, more people in India travel by train then by plane in the entire year.
- One American in 6500 is injured by a toilet seat during their lifetime.
- Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport is larger than Manhattan.
- Ladders are dropped on Los Angeles freeways more than any other item.
- Every year, an average of 12 Japanese tourists in Paris have to be repatriated due to severe culture shock.
🫤🙄😆
HO! HO! HO! – 10 MORE DAYS TO GO
I really don’t think another of my rants about political correctness is necessary today. These scenarios speak for themselves, in volumes.
Scenario 1:
1958 – Jack goes duck hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack. The Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun out to show Jack.
2021 – School goes into an immediate lock-down and classes are suspended. FBI and local police are called, Jack is hauled off to jail and his gun confiscated. His truck is towed away and impounded. Counselors are called in to aid any traumatized students and teachers. The Vice Principle was later terminated and cited for not wearing his mask.
Scenario 2:
1958 – Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. A crowd gathers. Mark wins the fight. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2021 – Police are called and SWAT team arrives — both Johnny and Mark are arrested. They are charged with assault and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Both are also cited for failure to maintain safe distance requirements because of the pandemic. Johnny was also found unmasked. Juvenile hearings are scheduled and Anger Management therapy mandated. Teachers are required to attend a training seminar on How to Handle Out of Control Students and a review session on Covid-19 rules and requirements is scheduled..
Scenario 3:
1958 – Jeffrey will not be still in class and he disrupts other students. Jeffrey is sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and doesn’t disrupt the class again.
2021 – Jeffrey is isolated from other students. His parents are called and he’s transported to his doctor’s office. A recommended dose of Ritalin is prescribed by his physician. He then becomes a zombie. Next he’s then tested for ADD allowing the family to collect extra money (SSI) from the government because of his disability. Family counseling is ordered by the authorities.
Scenario 4:
1958 – Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2021 – Billy’s dad is immediately arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to a foster care home until the father has completed his Anger Management classes. Billy then joins a local gang and is later arrested for a host of crimes. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she vaguely remembers being abused herself as a child and their dad ends up in prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist and Billy steals a car and runs away.
Scenario 5:
1958 – Mark gets a headache and brings some aspirin to school. Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal outside at the smoking dock.
2021 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons. His parents are detained and their house searched for any illicit drugs or paraphernalia. The Principal is suspended pending an investigation of his receiving drugs from a suspect student and supplying that student with cigarettes.
Scenario 6:
1958 – Pedro fails high school English. He then goes to summer school, passes English and goes on to college.
2021 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by the state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files a class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from the core curriculum and Pedro is given his diploma anyway. He ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can’t speak English.
Scenario 7:
1958 – Johnny takes apart some leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July. He puts them into a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an ant hill. Ants die.
2021- ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism and possessing unauthorized explosives. The FBI investigates his parents – and all siblings are removed from their home. All computers are also confiscated. Johnny’s father and mother are placed on a terror watch list and are never permitted to fly again. The family is sued by a neighbor when a drug sniffing dog bites his son.
Scenario 8:
1958 – Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary is seen hugging him to comfort him. In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2021 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job after another teacher saw her hugging Johnny. She faces 3 years in State Prison for child molestation. Johnny undergoes 5 years of intense therapy, becomes sexually confused after hypnosis therapy revealed alleged repressed memories of abuse. He now identifies himself as a transgendered named Janine.
AHHHHH!!! THE GOOD OLD DAYS
everyuselessthing.com 