Archive for the ‘flu’ Tag

06-18-2013   2 comments

I guess I need to apologize for the short and uninformative posting yesterday.  My state of mind was kind of like a weather report on the evening news:  Higher temperatures expected this evening with intermittent diarrhea and vomiting.  Tomorrow’s forecast looks much better with lower temperatures and calm and clear conditions (I hope).

My better-half has accused me in the past of being a cynical SOB who is skeptical about everyone and everything.  I have to agree with her to a point but I prefer the term pragmatic which sounds a little better.  With that in mind I’m trying to look at this bout of flu or virus from a different perspective.  I’ll pretend to be the optimistic and happy-go-lucky kind of guy my better-half wishes me to be.

Here goes.  For most of the day I was in and out of sleep and running a fairly high temperature.  I was dreaming and conscious most of the time but not really making much sense of things.  As bad as I felt I found that special something that my better-half has been preaching to me about.  I’m happy, proud, and honored to announce that I spent some quality time in a classroom with Sir Isaac Newton.  His hair was a little strange looking but the conversation was educational and informative.  I won’t go into specifics because they’re still a little fuzzy and hard to remember.  Dreams are like like.

The second good thing about this illness was a little harder to discover but being the new and improved optimistic SOB I’ve become I finally figured it out.  Weight loss.  I’ve lost close to six pounds in less than three days and I didn’t have to hit the gym or participate in any physical activity.  That’s a true statement if you don’t consider projectile vomiting a form of exercise.  I know I sure don’t.

So, excellent and historically incorrect dreams along with a six pound weight loss.  It really can’t get much better than that says my better-half.  I hate to burst her rose-colored-glasses bubble but I have no choice.  As much as I like meeting a long dead scientist and losing six pounds of ugly fat, it still wasn’t worth it.  In my humble opinion being optimistic is highly overrated.  I plan on staying just the way I am and the hell with Isaac Newton, a few pounds of weight loss, and my ever so optimistic better-half.

The morale of the story is simple:  "Being sick sucks!"

06-17-2013   Leave a comment

This is going to be a very short posting due to this stomach virus I happened to catch from one of my ever loving family members.  Between bouts of  projectile vomiting I’m trying to write this so it makes some sense.

I wish I could pinpoint the person who infected me and you can be sure on one thing, revenge will be sweet, I promise.

04-26-2013   2 comments

It appears that I’m finally on the mend from this damn virus that’s been kicking my ass for the last week. I still sound like someone’s gravely voiced uncle but I can live with that for a few more days. Being sick is a triple curse for me.  First your sick as a dog, second your stuck in the house usually in bed, and thirdly you can’t stop coughing.  You can only read so much before you’re forced to watch television and there’s the rub. It’s like being shot and then hung.

These last few days have convinced me to consider canceling our TV service when the current contract expires.  I can’t take the endless commercials and the low caliber of programming that has slowly been turning my mind and everyone else’s to mush. I’ve had it with all of the “redneck” programs that make all of us look like effing hicks to the rest of the world.  It’s ironic that the program that supplied me with the information needed to cancel my subscription,  I saw on TV. 

I remember back in the day when cable TV was a new novelty.  The way it was initially sold was an ad campaign that was total and absolute BS.  It was called "Pay TV" then and we were all assured for a small monthly fee we would be commercial free forever.  Then slowly but surely the fees began to grow, the commercials returned in a big way, and all of a sudden it’s costing me upwards of one hundred and fifty dollars a month for viewing programming that is almost fifty percent commercials.

When I began approaching retirement I decided to simplify by life.  I got rid of my old land-line telephone, all of my premium channels, and returned to just a basic cable package.  The cable company then added surcharges and taxes which brought my monthly figure almost back where it started before I cancelled the premium channels.

Then I moved in with my better-half who was burdened with an almost $200.00 a month bill of her own.  We immediately took steps to reduce our combined bill but Time Warner is a devious enemy.  We reduced everything back to basic cable but with our Internet charges we were still paying over a hundred dollars a month.  The cable companies claim it’s impossible to offer a menu type system where you order the channels you really want and aren’t forced to pay for thirty or forty you never watch.  How convenient.

We cancelled a large portion of our package but since it changed our "bundling" (the newest word used to screw all of us) they couldn’t lower our costs all that much.  After it was all said and done we were still paying $110.00 a month after the surcharges and BS fees were added.  We were both unhappy with the results of our efforts so we cancelled all of our Time Warner’s services except for the broadband Internet.  We then subscribed to the Dish network for two years and were initially charged an introductory price of $38.00 a month for one year.  They told me that after the first year the monthly price would be increased somewhat.  The first year passed and the price increased with fees and surcharges to $68.00 per month.  I’d call that more than substantial.

Arguing with cable companies is useless.  They have their own agenda which is to get as much money from us as they possibly can and believe me, nothing else matters.  I think a reasonable price for Internet and basic cable should be no more than $85.00 a month with fees and surcharges.  Any more than that is just highway robbery.

We’ve reached the point where desperate times call for desperate measures.  At the end of our current contract with Dish we’ll be canceling the satellite cable package and retaining only the Internet service from Time Warner.  We’ve decided to then subscribe to Netflix ($9.99 a month) for an endless selection of movies and Hulu Plus ($7.99 a month) for almost any TV programming we’d like to see.  Our total cost at that point will be approximately $57.97 a month, well within what we consider a reasonable cost.  Another added plus is that almost all commercials programming will disappear from our life.

This is a trend that seems to be happening everywhere by many of us.  It gives the old saying “vote with your feet” new meaning.  If enough people walk away from these cable monopolies then changes will occur and prices will begin dropping.

04-25-2013   Leave a comment

Just as a common courtesy I thought I’d let everyone know that as I ended yesterday’s posting I was hoping and praying for a really sexy massage but a little worried about a threatened enema.  I received neither and on one hand I’m happy and the other hand not so much.  It was an all or nothing deal and I had to turn it down because I’m chicken.

It’s always been that way for me.  it’s never someone just offering me a nice kiss on the cheek but someone promising that kiss then kicking me in the balls as well.  Carrot and stick all at the same time.  If you can avoid that situation I would highly recommend it.

Since I’m still under the weather I’ll spend my day today on the computer continuing the sorting and cataloging of my photographs.  I’ve almost completed the job which has taken just about forever but ever time I return home with my camera I have another hundred or so photo’s to review and sort. And no I don’t keep everything.  If I take a hundred photos from my camera I may keep twenty-five.  A quick skim through them usually reveals very quickly which ones just suck and have no real value.

My standard routine is to take at least four shots of every photograph.  It still amazes me how much difference takes place in just a second or two from the last one.  As a general rule the very first snap usually is the keeper.  Not always but more often than not.  It just goes to show that my first thoughts and actions  in that specific moment were correct, most of the time.

I may spend a little time today playing with my Photoshop program.  I normally don’t edit my photographs because I want them exactly as they were when taken.  I’ll on occasion edit a few as a novelty and print them up for friends and family but in my opinion untouched photo’s are always the way to go. I’m still something of a novice with Photoshop but it’s fun to play around with which can only increase my proficiency.

I’m hoping by tomorrow I’ll be permitted  to leave the house.  Just between you and me, regardless of the warden’s wishes, I’ll be getting out of here for a few hours.  A little fresh air can only help and even if it doesn’t, so what. I have to admit that I’m a terrible patient and even though my better-half is trying to help I still can occasionally be a  pain in the ass.  Hard to believe I know.

Well, tomorrow is another day with the promise of sunny weather, a quick and undetected escape from this house, and freedom, freedom, freedom.

04-23-2013   2 comments

This has been a slow news day for me.  I was so excited to complete my room remodel that I celebrated a little too much and got stupid a whole lot. The sun was shining, the temperature was in the high sixties, and I was on the deck catching some rays and loving life.  Portions of our deck are protected from the wind so I was hot and sweaty  in the sun but then when the wind shifted the temperature dropped about fifteen degrees.  I didn’t let it phase me or so I thought.

Last night at nine I started feeling a bit flushed and then a little clammy.  Right as I was going to bed I felt that well known indicator of bad things to come, a scratchy throat.  I hoped and prayed I was wrong but I knew I wasn’t. At three in the morning I woke up coughing and with a light fever.  At four I was awakened because I was having difficulty breathing from congestion in my head and chest.  It was quickly becoming a really bad day.

I seem to have lost the good health battle to a rather fast moving virus of some sort. I honestly don’t think it’s the flu because of the speed at which it’s progressing.  I’ve been low on energy all day today and been doing all of the normal run-of-the-mill remedies to help myself through this.  Lots of liquids, rest, an occasional throat lozenge, and a few Tylenol.  It’s now four in the afternoon and things are status quo.

I hate being sick and confined to bed but my better-half (the female warden of this prison) has laid down the law.  I’m in freaking jail with no chance of parole at least until the fever breaks.  I’ll only be allowed out to play with the other kids after I start feeling better and when I stop being a whinny baby (her choice of words, not mine).

So this posting will lack my normal sarcastic bent because my head hurts and I’m in dire need of a lengthy but loving back rub. The warden says if I’m good I can watch some TV and she’ll make me some chicken soup.  Screw the soup, I want a really detailed and thorough sponge bath with all the trimmings.  It would lower my rising temperature, clean my filthy body, and give me a cheap thrill or two if she does it just right.

So that’s it for today.  I can see the warden heading my way with that Nurse Ratched look on her face.  I hope she’s not going to try that enema thing again. LOL

02-20-2013   2 comments

In my travels this year everyone seems to be talking a great deal about the flu, getting flu shots, and health issues in general.  They don’t call this time of the year Cold & Flu Season for nothing I suppose.

As a society we’ve been slowly and steadily introduced to a plethora of drugs that will seemingly cure all of our ills (we hope).  The costs keep rising and rising for these drugs with no end in sight (if the drug companies having anything to say about it).  Prescription drugs have become the new necessities of life and a major addiction for our entire society. It’s all we seem to talk about or think about after  decades of thorough and constant advertising propaganda.

My mother introduced me to herb growing many years ago and ever since I’ve had a really nice herb garden wherever I’ve lived.  I grow dozens of culinary herbs and I’m already planning additions to my garden for this year.  I try to use as many fresh herbs as I can in our food preparations during the summer months and dry and store enough to get us through each winter.  It makes the food much more  flavorful and is likely a healthy practice (we hope).

Being a huge reader I’ve developed a habit of buying old books at yard sales and discount bookstores concerning herb lore and their varied medicinal uses.  About twenty years ago I stumbled on a copy of a very old book, Culpeper’s Complete Herbal – written in 1653, that contains hundreds of plants and their dosages used for  medicinal purposes.  For centuries that book was probably used  for remedies to ease symptoms of many every day minor illnesses.

I decided to do a little more research and  thought I might pass along a few of these outdated and quirky remedies that may have been the basis for some of our current day solutions.  Here are a few:

After all of these years our current well educated doctors are still no closer to discovering a remedy for the common cold.  It’s the same old thing, "drink lots of liquids, bed rest, and take an aspirin every four hours."  The ancients believed in the use of medicinal herbs.  They actually brewed willow bark  to help ease headaches and cold symptoms. It was later synthesized into the modern day aspirin we use today.  Maybe they were smarter than we give them credit for, or  maybe not. Here’s a sore throat remedy that you will just love:

Take a wool sock, a dirty (stinky and smelly) wool sock worn by someone who is obviously strong and healthy.  It must be a sock from a member of the opposite sex and should be turned inside out and tied around the neck.  The foot part of the sock should cover the sorest spot of the throat and left there overnight. In the morning remove the sock and wash (please). Your sore throat and fever should be eased somewhat. (Yikes!)

How’s that for a disgusting bit of healthcare.  I think I’d prefer the smell of Vicks to a nasty old sock worn by better-half. It might cure my sore throat but my eye’s would water for a week. Now for an interesting tip on dealing with a pesky toothache:

Just split open a nutshell, dig out the meat but be sure to keep the two items intact. Put a dead spider in one half and close up the shell. Hang it around your neck and as long as you’re wearing it, no more toothaches. (This one is not for me).  Now for a really ancient hiccup cure:

The ancient Chinese were ahead of their time in dealing with hiccups.  They suggested to gulp nine swallows of water without taking a breath.  You should at the same time press a spot on the back of your neck where it meets the torso.  Modern scientists later determined that was actually the location of the phrenic nerve which when pressed can  stop the impulse to hiccup.

Wart remedies are one of my favorites.  When I was a kid I had a wart on my index finger that would not go away and it drove me crazy.  An elderly Slovak lady who lived in my neighborhood told me to cut a potato in half. Then take a penny and rub both sides of it on the potato halves.  Next I was to rub the penny on the wart using both sides of the coin.  Finally I was to throw the penny away where it could never be found by anyone.  I followed her instructions to the letter and within two week the wart dried up and fell off. I was dumbfounded.

I certainly don’t recommend or endorse any of these ancient remedies, just passing them along as a public service.  Some are silly, some don’t work and some do but either way they’re still interesting.

Have a wonderful Cough and Cold season and save all those stinky socks.