I love cooking, I love eating, and I also love living.  If the experts out there are correct those three things are no longer compatible with each other.  For most of my life I’ve had one group or another of so called experts explaining to me in great detail what in their opinion would shorten or end my life.  I’m not talking about guns or knives or any type of weapon but food and other consumables.

I can’t drink the water because most of it contains harmful or deadly toxins that could be fatal with extended consumption.  I can’t breath the air because it’s polluted with toxins that could give me a cancer.  Those two things are basic to all life on the earth of which there is plenty but they could kill me. Do I stop consuming them?  If I do I’ll die for sure.  A seriously flawed conundrum.

Don’t eat eggs.  They’ll cause your cholesterol to soar putting you at risk. Don’t eat bacon.  It will kill you.  No more red meat. It will kill you too.  Don’t eat too much oil. It will kill you. No sugar. It will also kill you.  No sugar substitutes. They’ll kill you too.  Stop eating salt.  It could kill you.  Drink only low fat milk.  Whole milk contains something that will kill you.  No dairy products.  They can kill you too.  Don’t eat fish or seafood. Too much mercury. Don’t eat potato chips. They’ll kill you.  No fried foods. They can kill you. No coffee. It can kill you.

Carbs are bad.  Protein is bad. Oil is bad. Salt is bad. Sugar is bad. Water is bad. The air is bad. Being fat is bad.  Being skinny is bad. Being too active is bad.  Not being active enough is bad too. Drinking alcohol is bad. It will kill you.  Smoking is evil. You will day a horrible death. Don’ eat sweets.  They have sugar and will kill you.

I guess my point is that if you never want to die you should stop doing and eating all of the above things. Wait, that can’t be right.  You’re going to die anyway.

Let’ try this.  I could become a Vegan who eats nothing but bland unseasoned organic veggies.  I’ll drink nothing but pure filtered water, wear a mask to filter the air, and never touch any food that tastes good or even looks good.  I’ll exercise just enough to keep me healthy and skinny and never consume caffeine, drugs of any kind, alcohol, or sweets.  People would praise me as someone doing things the natural way, the way things ought to be for the entire world. I’ll form research groups to reinforce my opinions and write books and sell DVD’s to become rich and influential.  I’ll then use all of my money and influence to pressure politicians to pass laws that will force everyone to be healthy.  Once the entire country has been converted then I’ll do everything in my power to convince the world.  After I’ve become the voice of reason for all things health related, I’ll live just long enough to finally die.  Just like everyone else.

All that effort and BS just to die like every other unhealthy person on the planet.  Hardly seems worth the effort to me.  Just give me a cold beer, a bag of chips, a good bacon and egg breakfast, a nice juicy salted steak with all the trimmings, and a good smoke and glass of brandy. Then I’ll be ready to die too.

I’ll rather die happy eating a banana split covered with whipped cream, nuts, and a huge cherry on top than being a stinky and unhappy dead Vegan.  If I’m gonna go I want it to be on my own terms.  It’s something called freedom of which we have very little these days.

Bon Appetite