Archive for the ‘humorous epithets’ Tag

01/16/2023 ๐Ÿ’€Grave Subjects๐Ÿ’€   2 comments

In my younger days I spent a great deal of time wandering through the graveyards of Southern Massachusetts. I’ve always liked cemeteries and some of the oldest graves in the country can be found in and around the Plymouth area. Say what you want about the Pilgrims, but they brought their love of catchy epithets from the old country, and they are some of the best. I spent many hours sketching cemeteries and painting a number of interesting oil paintings which allowed me to sit for hours in a quiet and serene place. Here is a small collection of epithets from this country and others.

From Church Stretton, Shropshire, England

On Thursday she was born,

On a Thursday she made a bride,

On a Thursday put to bed,

On a Thursday broke her leg, and

On a Thursday died.

๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€

From a churchyard in Oxfordshire, England

Here lies the body of John Eldred,

At least, he will be when he’s dead.

But now at this time he is alive,

The 14th of August, Sixty-five.

๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€

From Middlefield, Massachusetts

Old Thomas Mulvaney lies here.

His mouth ran from ear to ear.

Reader, tread lightly on this wonder,

For if he yawns, you’re gone to thunder.

๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€

From Keeseville, New York

Here lies a man of good repute.

Who wore a No. 16 boot.

Tis not recorded how he died,

But sure, it is, that open wide,

The gates of heaven must have been,

To let such monstrous feet within.

๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€

From Chelmsford, Essex, England

Here lies the man Richard,

And Mary his wife.

Their surname was Pritchard,

They lived without strife.

And the reason was plain,

They abounded in riches,

They had no care or pain,

And his wife wore the breeches.

๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€

Here’s a favorite from a grave in Winslow, Maine and proves that short and sweet is always the best.

Here lies the body of John Mound

Lost at sea and never found.

*****

NOW, SIT DOWN AND WRITE YOUR OWN

09/24/2022 “Epithets”   Leave a comment

As I’ve stated many times in the past, I’ve always had a fascination with graveyards and cemeteries. With that thought in mind, here are a few of my favorite humorous epithets. It’s good to have a sense of humor even after death.

From Enosburg, Vermont

Here lies the body of our Anna

Done to death by a banana.

It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

โ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธ

From Bayfield, Mississippi

Stranger pause. my tale attend,

And learn the cause of Hannah’s end.

Across the world the wind did blow,

She ketched a cold that laid her low.

We shed a lot of tears ’tis true,

But life is short – aged 82.

โ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธ

From Medway, Massachusetts

Beneath this stone, this lump of clay,

Lies Uncle Peter Daniels,

Who too early in the month of May

Took off his winter flannels.

โ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธ

From Canterbury, Kent, England

Of children in all she bore twenty-four:

Thank the Lord there will be no more.

โ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธ

From Chelmsford, Essex, England

Herer lies the man Richard,

And Mary his wife.

Their surname was Pritchard,

They lived without strife.

And the reason was plain,

They abounded in riches,

They had no care or pain,

And his wife wore the breeches.

HAVE YOU WRITTEN YOURS YET?

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