Archive for the ‘kansas’ Tag
I’ve always been attracted to graveyards. There’s no better place to paint, sketch or write than the peaceful quietness of a graveyard. It’s one of the few places still left where someone can go and relax without interferences from the rest of the living human race. I once lived in a city called Lakeville in Massachusetts and for many years I was known far and wide by the police departments and many citizens as someone who was consistently haunting local graveyards. In the Plymouth area there are still tombstones from the 1600’s with some truly bizarre epithets and poetry. I just takes a little time and dedication to find them. Todays post will contain what some people would consider morbid information and that’s true, it is a little morbid but it’s still interesting. Being the kind and generous soul that I am, I’m willing to share.
😵😵😵
- “Haircut!” Last words of famous gangster Albert Anastasia in 1957 while getting a trim.
- “Smite my womb.” Spoken by Agrippina, mother of Nero, to the assassins sent to kill her by her son.
- “The strongest.” Uttered by Alexander the Great when asked who should succeed him.
- “The executioner is, I believe, an expert . . . and my neck is very slender. Oh God, have pity on my soul, . . . ” as she was beheaded.
- “I hope so.” Stated by Andrew Carnegie, steel magnet and philanthropist, to his wife who’d just wished him a good night:
Epithets
Burlington, Massachusetts
Sacred to the memory of Anthony Drake,
Who died for peace and quietness sake;
His wife was constantly scolding and scoffin’,
So he sought for repose in a twelve dollar coffin.
😨😨😨
Whitingham, Vermont
Brigham Young
Born on this spot
1801
A man of great courage
and superb equipment.
😱😱😱
Skaneateles, New York
Underneath this pile of stones
Lies all that’s left of Sally Jones,
Her name was Briggs, it was not Jones,
But Jones was used to rhyme with stones.
🤠🤠ðŸ¤
One of my fav’s
Boot Hill Cemetery, Dodge City, Kansas
PLAYED FIVE ACES,
NOW PLAYING THE HARP.
Do you own a cowboy hat or other articles of western clothing. The American Old West has fans around the globe as reflected in thousands of Japanese cowboys who live for the fantasy. I was a big fan at an early age when I received my first two-gun cap pistol rig. When the novelty of that wore off, I was pretty much finished with my desire to be a cowboy, so I moved on to wanting to be a professional baseball player and later still a first-class skirt chaser. I’m not wearing a cowboy hat, boots, or assless chaps but I still can offer a few limericks from the Old West.
While waiting for the Sioux to disband,
Colonel Custer took matters in hand.
Despite his dejection
He achieved an erection.
That was almost Custer’s Last Stand.
As a gunslinger Wild Bill Hickok
Had mastered every known trick-shot.
But his skills while in bed
Leave less to said,
For nothing could make his small dick hot.
Said a girl who came west to a farm,
“City life has far greater charm.
Take the pleasures of orgasm,
Each urban girl has’em,
But in Kansas they’re viewed with alarm.
An old whore who worked Santa Fe
Was known as a luscious hot lay.
But the bugs in her twitchet
Forced her always to itch it,
And that frightened her clients away.
Yee Ha, Y’all!
As I was rummaging through my collection of books I discovered one I forgot I had. It was buried beneath a pile of other useless information. It’s called Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader and I gave it a quick read. Being a former cop and an employee of the Maine Criminal Justice System, I tend to read things about the courts and laws before anything else and I’m glad I did. The Bathroom Reader made me aware of some strange and ridiculous laws from around the country. Here are just a few.
- The law prohibits barbers in Omaha, Nebraska, from shaving the chests of customers.
- In St. Louis Missouri, it’s illegal for you to drink beer out of a bucket while you’re sitting on a curb.
- In cotton Valley, Louisiana, law forbids cows and horses from sleeping in a bakery.
- The maximum penalty for double parking in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is working on a chain gang with nothing to eat but bread and water.
- In the state of Alabama, it’s illegal to play dominoes on a Sunday.
- In Las Vegas Nevada, it’s against the law to pawn your dentures.
- If your 88 years of age or older, it’s illegal for you to ride your motorcycle in Idaho Falls, Idaho.
- In California, it’s illegal to hunt whales from your automobile. It’s also against the law to use your dirty underwear as a dust rag.
- It’s illegal to sleep with your boots on in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
- In Natoma, Kansas it’s illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits.
These 10 items are mild compared to some of the others I’ve seen over the years. We Americans are great at passing a law after law but very lax in eliminating silly crap like this from the rolls. I’m going to make an effort to finds a few that are even crazier than the ones you just read.
CRIMINAL JUSTICE, MY ASS
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