Here we go again with another rainy and gray day. Spring really wants to make an appearance but for some reason she’s having difficulties. The sun shines brightly for 2 hours a day broken up into 15-minute segments. The problem then becomes when you have a “freezing your ass off” moment every time a cloud goes by. Truthfully Mother Nature is really starting to piss me off.
Now let me get back to the subject. A few months ago, I purchased a pile of old used books which appear to have once been library books. I have books from libraries all over the country. One in particular is a book of limericks (mostly clean) written by some well-known authors and celebrities. See what you think.
By: Lewis Carroll
His sister named Lucy O’Finner,
Grew constantly thinner and thinner,
The reason was plain,
She slipped out in the rain,
And was never allowed any dinner.
💥💥
By: Ogden Nash
It was an old man of Calcutta,
Who coated his tonsils with butta,
Thus, converting his snore
From a thunderous roar
To a soft, oleaginous mutta.
By: Oliver Wendell Holmes
The Reverend Henry Ward Beecher
Called a hen a most elegant creature.
The Hen, pleased with that,
Laid an egg in his hat,
And thus did the hen reward Beecher.
💥💥
By: Rudyard Kipling
There was once a small boy in Québec
Stood buried in snow to his neck.
When asked: “Are you friz?”
He said: “Yes, I is,
“But we don’t call this cold in Québec.”
💥💥💥
As you can imagine I read hundreds of limericks a month but even I was taken by surprise when I read these four. Just goes to show you that even celebrated writers and authors have a real bitch of a time writing limericks. I’m sure that if of you took a few minutes, you could write better stuff than this. Only one of these four showed me something interesting and that was the one by Oliver Wendall Holmes. Read it carefully and see if you spot his clever efforts.
LIMERICK WRITERS RULE!
Nickola Tesla
Actual geniuses are rare. While most people hold them in awe after their deaths, they’re lives are sometimes difficult and a little strange. They are usually so involved with their projects and inventions, that everything else is no longer something that interests them. Many are anti-social and virtual recluses. There always seems to be a balance of sorts. Super intelligence balanced with a lack of social graces or concerns with others. It’s a terrible price to pay. Here are a few trivia tidbits of some of our better-known geniuses.
- Thomas Edison established an “invention factory” with the hope of producing one new invention every ten days. In one four year period he obtained 300 patents, or one every five days. In all he patented nearly 1300 inventions.
- Alexander Graham Bell was working to improve the telegraph when he invented the telephone.
- Charles Dickens believed that to get a really good night’s sleep the bed must be aligned north to south. In this manner, he thought, the magnetic currents would flow straight through the recumbent body.
- The botanist, George Washington Carver, who is best known for his pioneering work with peanuts, developed 536 dyes when experimenting with plant leaves, fruits, stems, and roots.
Ben Franklin
- Margaret Mead’s first foray into the observation of human behavior occurred before she was a teenager. As a young person of eight or nine years, she recorded the patterns of speech of her younger sisters.
- Ben Franklin was cautious in performing his famous kite experiment in which he charged a Leyden jar with electricity drawn from the clouds. The first two men who tried to duplicate his experiment were electrocuted.
- Lewis Carroll, by his own account, wrote 98,721 letters in the last thirty-seven years of his life.
- There was an intention in 1912 of giving a Nobel Prize jointly to Nickola Tesla and Thomas Edison. Both were deserving of the honor but Tesla refused because of his intense dislike of Edison. The Nobel Prize was instead given to a Swedish inventor of lesser merit.
Thomas Edison
everyuselessthing.com 