Archive for the ‘malaproprism’ Tag
“Malaprop“
The mistaken use of a word in place of a similar sounding one, often with unintentionally
amusing effect, as in, for example, “dance a flamingo” (instead of flamenco).
Today’s posting will be a shout out to all of those educators that spend so much of their time attempting to teach our younger generations anything. It’s a difficult job on the good days and it’s even worse on the bad days. I thought I’d list a selection of what are called malaprops taken from actual test papers and essays from some grade schoolers, high schoolers, and selected college examinations. These are things of beauty.
- Women like to do things in circles, where they sew, talk, and do their meddling.
- “Don’t” is a contraption.
- Italics are what Italians write in.
- The government of Athens was Democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.
- Antarctica is like the regular Arctic, but ritzier.
- He worked in the government as a civil serpent.
- You purify water by filtering it and then forcing it through an aviator.
- The doctor felt the man’s purse and said there was no hope.
- The government of England is a limited mockery.
- The first book of the Bible is a book of Guinness’s.
“IT IS BEYOND MY APPREHENSION.”
A few weeks ago, I posted about some language oddities called malaprops. To quote a reader who responded to that post, “Those things are like fingernails on a blackboard to me.” So, I thought today would be a good day to run some fingernails over that same blackboard, just for the fun of it. This time I’ll give you a list of malaprops written by grade schoolers, high schoolers, and a few college geniuses. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
- Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.
- The walls of Notre Dame Cathedral are supported by flying buttocks.
- Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
- Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
- People have sex, while nouns have genders.
- Christmas is a time for happiness for every child, adult, and adulteress.
- Most words are easy to spell once you get the letters write.
- The bowels are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y.
- The climate of the Sahara Desert is so hot that certain areas are cultivated by irritation.
- The United States Constitution was adopted to secure domestic hostility.
YOU GOTTA LUV OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM
I’m sure some of you know the definition of a malaprop. If not, here it is. A malaprop is the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar sounding one, often with unintentional amusing effect. I really didn’t know the definition or the word myself but while posting yesterday I noticed two entries that amused me. After digging around in my books I discovered the term malaprop and a number of examples I thought you might find interesting and hopefully amusing. Here they are . . .
- Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.
- Although the patient had never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead.
- William Tell shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.
- The book was so exciting I couldn’t finish it until I put it down.
- The difference between a king and a president is that king is the son of his father and a president isn’t.
- The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
- The Magna Carta provided that no freemen should be hanged twice for the same offense.
- Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
- The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. Your head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom.
- He saw three other people in the restaurant, and half of those were waiters.
Now you know what malaprops are. As I read them, I realized that I’ve seen samples of them many times before but never heard anyone use the term. I’m ambivalent about knowing it now and I’m almost sorry I made you aware of it. I may revisit this subject in the future or maybe not.
HAPPY MONDAY
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