
This is a perfect day for a truck load of silliness. First let’s look over some truly stupid and published newspaper headlines.
CHILD’S STOOL GREAT FOR USE IN THE GARDEN
SOVIET VIRGIN LANDS SHORT OF GOAL AGAIN
DEALERS WILL HEAR CAR TALK AT NOON
ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
MAN RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN DIES

Next are a few actual classified ads that made me smile.
πππ
Joining nudist colony, must sell washer & dryer – $300.00
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
Man wanted to work in explosive factory. Must be willing to travel.

Quotes and Malaprops from actual high school and college exams on the subject of Music Appreciation
πππ
- The principal singer of nineteenth-century opera was called the pre-Madonna.
- Agnes Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
- A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
- When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody.
- Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a pleasant sound once the animal is removed.

And finally, a serious quote from a serious Playboy playmate, Barbie Benton.
(Not PETA Approved)
“I believe that minks are raised to be turned into fur coats and if we didn’t wear fur coats, those little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born, or to have lived for one or two years to have been turned into a fur coat. I don’t know.”
