Archive for the ‘newspaper ads’ Tag

08/04/2022 Mish Mosh   Leave a comment

Once again here is a collection of what the hell ever”. A mixture of stupid advertisements, bumper stickers, and whatever else I happen to find on my desk. TGIAF (Thank God It’s Almost Friday)

Newspaper Headlines

Statistics Show that Mortality Increases Perceptively in the Military During Wartime

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

😗😗😗

Newspaper Classified Ads

Two wire-mesh butchering gloves, one 5-finger, oine 3-finger, pair: $15.00

Bill’s Septic Cleaning – “We haul American-made products.”

For Sale – An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

😜😜😜

Malaprops From Grade School and High School Exams

Afterward Moses went up on Mt. Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.

Most words are easy to spell once you get the words write.

The air is thin high up in the sky. Down here it’s fat.

Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.

The Greeks invented three kinds of columns: Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic.

😏😏😏

THIS IS GOOD PREP FOR THE WEEKEND

10-17-2013   Leave a comment

Yesterday I was a little bored which might explain why I was visiting Craig’s List.  I’m not a huge fan of the site because getting up close and personal with anonymous crazies is not my thing.  The history of Craig’s List and it’s problems are well known and need no further explanations from me.  I do enjoy reading many of their ads which can be both unusual and occasionally funny.

Funny ads are nothing new.  Over the years I’ve been drawn to newspapers and magazine ad sections to get a laugh or two.  The Penny Saver newspapers and their ilk are by far the best.  The following  collection includes a few of those types of ads that made me “laugh out loud” when I read them.  It amazes me how the ad writers can inject such humor into their ads and most times don’t even realize it.

* * *

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB —
$850/best offer

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX,
COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

COWS FOR SALE.
NEVER BRED CALVES.
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
20 YR. WARRANTY.
LIKE NEW.
SLIGHT URINE SMELL.

NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY

BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES
GUN CLUB

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED – USED ONCE

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT…
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE A REWARD.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS – $175.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE…
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300.

OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS, FOR SALE BY OWNER

COMPLETE SET OF ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA. 45 VOLUMES. EXCELLENT CONDITION. $1,000.00 NEGOTIABLE. NO LONGER NEEDED. RECENTLY MARRIED; WIFE KNOWS EVERYTHING

* * *

Why is it that spontaneous and unplanned humor like these ads can be funnier that a lot of the professionally constructed jokes we hear every day. I find this stuff  hilarious and there seems to be an endless supply.

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