Archive for the ‘mish mosh’ Tag

12/06/2022 “Mish Mosh”   Leave a comment

I’m already getting a little bored with Christmas so here’s my change of pace. Mish Mosh is always interesting and it will help to get me out of this holly, jolly, mindset I’ve fallen into. Weird and strange facts which someone (maybe even you) will find interesting.

  • Women tend to shave approximately 412 square inches of their bodies, while men shave only 48.
  • Tap water in New York City is considered non-kosher, as it has been found to contain microorganisms that qualify as shellfish.
  • December is the most common month for children to be conceived.
  • Fingerprints are unique to each individual, of course, but the same goes for tongue prints and lip prints.
  • A pound of peanut butter is made up of 720 peanuts.

  • During his nine-year reign as pope (beginning in 955), John XII was charged with multiple sexual acts and toasting the devil with wine. He was allegedly killed by a jealous husband.
  • Confederate volunteers in the Civil War were paid $11 per month in 1861. Their pay was increased to $18 per month by 1864, but by then the currency was almost worthless.
  • As General George Patton crossed a bridge over the Rhine River into Germany during World War II, he stopped in the middle and urinated into the river.
  • The working title of the Beatles hit “With a Little Help from My Friends” was “Bad Finger Boogie”
  • The human heart produces enough pressure to squirt blood more than 30 feet.

I already feel better since ridding my brain of all this holiday insanity, if only for just a few minutes. I’m afraid that I’ll be back at posting about the holidays and Santa and reindeer and mistletoe and snow and Christmas cards and OMG please stop me now.

18 MORE DAYS LEFT

08/04/2022 Mish Mosh   Leave a comment

Once again here is a collection of what the hell ever”. A mixture of stupid advertisements, bumper stickers, and whatever else I happen to find on my desk. TGIAF (Thank God It’s Almost Friday)

Newspaper Headlines

Statistics Show that Mortality Increases Perceptively in the Military During Wartime

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

πŸ˜—πŸ˜—πŸ˜—

Newspaper Classified Ads

Two wire-mesh butchering gloves, one 5-finger, oine 3-finger, pair: $15.00

Bill’s Septic Cleaning – “We haul American-made products.”

For Sale – An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

😜😜😜

Malaprops From Grade School and High School Exams

Afterward Moses went up on Mt. Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.

Most words are easy to spell once you get the words write.

The air is thin high up in the sky. Down here it’s fat.

Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.

The Greeks invented three kinds of columns: Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic.

😏😏😏

THIS IS GOOD PREP FOR THE WEEKEND

07/06/2022 Mish Mosh   Leave a comment

How about I just throw a little of everything your way on this fine Friday morning. I’ll start with a few apparently unedited newspaper headlines. I certainly hope the editors that approved these don’t get paid too much.

War Dims Hope for Peace

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Next on my list for today are a few retro bumper stickers. They seem to make more sense than these headlines did.

I Don’t Break for Pedestrians

Learn From Your Parents Mistakes-Use Birth Control

I’m Not a Complete Idiot-Some Parts are Missing

He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest

See, I told you they were better than the headlines. And last but not least, a quote you should be glad you didn’t make. I’m not a fan of either Nancy Pelosi or Barabara Boxer but the award for the stupidest quote goes to Barabara. She won by a nose.

“Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, “Thank God I’m still alive.” But of course, those who died – their lives will never be the same again.”

CALIFORNIA IS SO PROUD

05/11/2022 Mish Mosh   Leave a comment

Let’s start this silly post with another really stupid headline. I’ve always wondered how much the headline writer’s get paid and are they ever fired for these kinds of mistakes. They probably never get fired; they’re usually promoted to Editor.

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

Let us move onto another of my favorite categories, Retro Bumper Stickers. I’m pretty sure my better-half still has the second one on her current car.

YOU! Out of the gene pool!

Don’t Drink and Drive – You Might Spill Your Beer.

As always, I like throwing a quote into the mix. Here’s a pearl of wisdom from Coco Chanel, one of the hottest women ever (in her 20’s & 30’s).

Her Best Look!

Β β€œThe most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”

And last but not least, an honorable mention to another of our favorite stupid criminals.

NOT ALL THERE

Oklahoma City – Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court when he fired his lawyer. The Assistant District Attorney said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, “I should have blown your [expletive] head off.” The defendant paused, then quickly added, “-if I’d been the one that was there.” The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence.

ENJOY YOUR DAY

04/28/2022 Mish Mosh   1 comment

Stupid Headline

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Stupid Bumper Sticker

Be Careful-90% of People are Caused by Accidents

Smart Quote

“Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens.”

Aldous Huxley 1959

Stupid Quote

“If you stay here much longer, you’ll be slitty eyed”

Prince Philip to British students in China

Rude Limerick

A hapless young fellow named Schmuck,

Considers himself out of luck.

Though he’s petted and wooed,

When he tries to get screwed,

He finds that virgins don’t give a fuck.

THE WEEKEND IS COMING

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