I’ve never really understood or cared why the Fourth of July is called Independence Day. I know it’s the celebration of the signing of the Declaration of Independence but in this day and age who really cares? It’s just become another excuse to have a long weekend and a day off and to drink and party and be foolish. It seems to me that only a very small percentage of the country really understands what is being celebrated on the Fourth of July.
Many years ago, while on a long weekend to Cape Cod I purchased a T-shirt in a shop in Provincetown. The minute I saw the shirt I knew I had to have it. I continued to wear it for years until it fell apart. I have since purchased another and wear it proudly. It’s a short statement of fact that I’m proud to wear across my chest, “I love my country and fear our government.” A simple yet true statement and even truer today than when I bought it. Mixing politics with patriotism is a dangerous thing and it still scares the hell out of me. Relying on our current crop of inept politicians to keep this county secure and on the right path is frightening at best. For me the Fourth of July is a bogus holiday. We should celebrate it on February 29 (Leap Year), every four years. Here is sample of how one of the Founding Fathers felt about it.
Did you know? John Adams believed that July 2nd was the correct date on which to celebrate the birth of American independence, and would reportedly turn down invitations to appear at July 4th events in protest.
It apparently wasn’t considered an American Holy Day back then. Those poor politicians hadn’t yet discovered the essentials needed to celebrate properly, charcoal brickettes, gas grills, and an endless supply of alcohol and weed. Mix all of that together with a few idiot politicians and you’ve got a real current-day Independence Day celebration.
Ten shopping days left till the big day arrives. Time always loves playing tricks on us and even more so at this time of the year. If we’re doing something we really enjoy the time flies by quickly but if it’s something we dislike it seems to drag on forever. That for me is Christmas in a nut shell. The more tasks that weāre required to complete to celebrate the holiday causes time to speed up in a big way when we donāt think we can finish them all. Then time slows to a dead crawl as we wait for the final day to arrive after the tasks have been completed.
This week for me is all of that and then some. Within a few days the first of the visitors will begin arriving and that’s exciting right up until the time they actually get here. They’re excited as well but that feeling wanes in just a day or so. Then they start missing their regular life and routines and each day that passes makes those feelings grow. Thatās when time begins to play it’s tricks. None of us want the gathering to end so it feels like time is flying but all of us wish it would end to some degree making time drag on a little. Itās a real conundrum.
āIt canāt be Christmas without a skinny Elvis picture.ā
Believe me I’m not complaining, it’s just one of those weird facts of life we must deal with and appreciate at the same time. I’m wishing right now that time would speed up so the festivities can begin. As a family grows and it’s members pursue their individual lives these holidays become more special. In most cases all of the participants make some sort of sacrifice to gather like this. We all need to acknowledge that fact and truly try to appreciate each otherās efforts.
I’m lying here in bed, it’s 5 am, and I’m already excited to get today started but this effing waiting is brutal. My tasks are completed but the better-half is racing around the house in a swirl of wrapping paper, ribbons, and rolls of tape. Itās actually fun to watch her but Iād better not be enjoying myself too much or thereāll be hell to pay.
Iāve always enjoyed the New Years holiday and Iāve partied my fair share over the years. No pressure for gifts, no family visitors, and no caroling or boring Christmas cards. Just get together, have a few drinks, dance a little, and be hung-over the next day. Hopefully not waking up in a jail cell or in bed with someone your not all that familiar with.
Iāve never been a big proponent of making New Yearās resolutions because I honestly never tried keeping them anyway. Itās just an exercise in futility and just another thing to depress the hell out me when in July I reread the list, swear a few times, and toss it in the can. The following five resolutions were put together by the US government and a few heath fanatics. Do they actually think I would take these politically correct items seriously? Theyāve got to be kidding us and themselves.
1. Exercise or start a new physical activity
2. Eat more fresh foods
3. Make your home safer
4. Schedule regular checkups
5. Participate in cognitive health activities
Last year I decided to get more serious and came up with ten realistic resolutions that I might actually have a chance of completing. As you can see by the following results I wasnāt a total failure but my successes werenāt all that great either. Here they are:
1. Read four books a month.
COMPLETED – This was any easy one for me but I knew that going in. I figured I should have at least one I could accomplish without working too hard.
2. Keep the number of F-bombs below 100 a week.
FAILED – Iām sorry to say this one was much more difficult than I first thought. I blame my complete failure on my better-half who has an uncanny ability to bring the F-Bombs out of me.
3. Visit only the classiest porn sites no more than four times a day.
COMPLETED ā Just barely.
4. Throw the finger at bad drivers no more than three times a week.
COMPLETED ā I was especially proud of this accomplishment. There were times when I almost gave in to the dark side, but I hung in there.
5. Spend less than $50.00 a month at Dunkin Donut.
FAILED ā I never had a chance on this one. I really donāt consider this a real failure because I suffer from an addiction. That excuse workās for almost everyone else so I thought Iād give it a try.
6. Try not to call my cat a rotten SOB more than three times a day.
FAILED ā He continuously baited me for a year to force my failure. Those damn cats are so sneaky.
7. Try not to scratch my junk in public more than twice a week.
COMPLETED ā I kept it at a once a week level but again it was so damn difficult. Itās only human nature that if you have toys you play with them. Duh!
8. Drink less than last year but more than next year.
COMPLETED ā Iāll make sure I drink the proper amount next year to make this a success.
9. Do not smoke marijuana. Baked in brownies only.
FAILED ā Didnāt have it either way and Iām very sad about it.
10. Donāt dance naked near the picture window in the living room. It scares the neighbors dog.
FAILED ā I really donāt like that dog and it was worth a failure here to again frighten and make her crazy. Damn dog.
I failed five of ten but in all honesty I tried my hardest. Iāll have my 2013 list completed soon and Iāll again try to make all of you proud. I hope you do the same and if youād like to share your upcoming failures, please do so. I promise not to snicker or laugh. . . . really!
Theyāll be no more mentions of Thanksgiving and related food topics. Iāve eaten enough turkey, turkey pies, turkey soup, and turkey sandwiches for this year. Itās onward and upward to the next step on the stairway to 2013. My better-half and I have begun planning another of our annual holiday visits to faraway family members. Since my mom passed this year a trip to western Pennsylvania wonāt be happening. Instead weāll be on our way to the state of Maryland for a birthday bash/holiday visit for my better-halfās mom who is turning eighty. Her many siblings and their spouses, partners, and significant others will also be in attendance for the festivities. Iām not at all thrilled about traveling during the Christmas season because it seems every time we do something bad happens. In years past Iāve had two near-death experiences in unexpected blizzards where we played bumper cars in the snow. Iām beginning to appreciate all of those years I lived in Pennsylvania and was within driving distance of most of my relatives.
My better-half has been in great spirits for the last few days and I suspect sheās suffering from Pre-Vacation Silliness Syndrome. She has a vacation scheduled to start in fours days but mentally sheās already checked out. Combining that with her never ending Christmas cheer might be enough to drive me āover the edgeā. How would you like to drive for eight and a half hours through possible snowy conditions with a tone deal Christmas elf singing carols in your ear. I hope her sister and brother-in-law have a good supply of alcoholic refreshments chilled and waiting my arrival. Iām going to try my best to hide those stupid red antlers she soooo loves to wear because I just know the first police officer that sees her in that outfit will most likely what me to stop and chat so he can smell my breath. I hope and pray the weather cooperates and we get there and back without incident.
Now for some new business. I received a message from Matthew Ryan at A Toast to Dragons nominating me for the coveted and spectacular, Very Inspiring Blog Award. As part of my acceptance I ām told I need to list 15 of my favorite blogs. Since I ām a very discerning reader fifteen is out of the question. Here are five in addition to Matt that I read religiously. For sweetness and poetry – Don’t Quote Lily, for sexy – Snarky Snatch, for our military – Brain Rants, and for an Australian perspective – Polly Woffle. I have one last blog that Iāve read for years even though the blogger passed away in 2006. His family maintains the blog and itās archives and I still visit it every chance I get. Go to Gut Rumbles as written by the late great Rob āAcidmanā Smith. Heās the only reason Iām blogging today. Any one of these blogs is well worth your time.
Iād like to continue this but Iāve been assigned repair duties today. Fix the kitchen light, put out the Christmas flag, take down the screens, and blah blah blah. Just another day in this paradise that is my life. Tomorrow is another day.
everyuselessthing.com 