Mickey’s is bigger than Dickie’s,
And Dickie’s is bigger than Rickie’s;
I like penises the size
That bring tears to my eyes,
Although small ones are better for quickies.
Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
11/12/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
11/17/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
There was a young fellow, from Florida,
Who liked a friends wife, so he borrowed her;
When they jumped into bed,
He cried: “God! Strike me dead!
This isn’t a vagina – it’s a corridor!”
11/04/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
There was a young lady, named Glad,
Whose stutter was ever so bad;
Because of her stutter,
By the time she could utter
She w-w-w-wouldn’t, she had!
11/03/2021 **DUMB💩 💩AWARD** Leave a comment
I’ve been a fan of the Darwin Awards for many years. I’m not sure why I enjoy reading about stupid people dying in stupid ways, but I do. Here’s a headline I happened upon as I was surfing this morning. If anyone deserved a Dumb💩💩Award it’s this genius.
Dad of three crushed to death under BMW as he tried to steal a catalytic converter.
- Updated: 7:53, 2 Sep 2021
11/03/2021 Adapting to Change Leave a comment
Life to me is nothing more than a series of connections of actions and words between individuals. What I do or say on any given day has some effect on others. They in turn take actions and say things prompted by what I’ve said or done. Therefore my actions and words will ripple through great numbers of people allowing me the ability to indirectly create change. That’s one of the many reasons I enjoy blogging. On most days the majority of citizens feel disenfranchised by the system because they believe they cannot effect change. Many people fear change but I don’t. I’ll keep writing and voicing my opinions and they will be read by others, not just in the United States, but worldwide. My records indicate that the things I’ve written have been read in over eighty countries. It’s the best solution I can offer as I try to effect change. What blogs offer is considerably more interesting than what Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram are supplying us with. Find some blogs you can relate to and get involved.
- “When you’re safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you’re having an adventure you wish you were home.” – Thornton Wilder
- “You cannot change anyone, but you can be the reason someone changes.” – Roy T. Bennett
- “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu
- “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” – John F. Kennedy
- “Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people. – Jim Rohn
- “You can’t just keep doing what works one time, everything around you is changing. To succeed, stay out in front of change.” – Sam Walton (Walmart)
- “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” – Leo Tolstoy
I’VE NOTHING MORE TO ADD
11/02/2021 PEOPLE .👨🦰. PEOPLE .👸. PEOPLE 2 comments
Like everyone else I spend an inordinate amount of my time people watching, listening, and wondering. We all do it and most of us find it enjoyable but even those that don’t do find it interesting and curious. As I surf the Net I’ve read thousands of articles that center most of their interests on people. Looking at it from my perspective, what else is there to write about that will capture an audience. People are by far the most interesting and disturbing characters to examine that I’ve found. Dogs? No way, Cats? Not so much, Trees? Boring . . .
Once I made the decision to write primarily about people is when I stumbled upon reams and reams of information that I found cute, somewhat interesting, and some that were just down-right stupid. With that in mind I thought I’d send along a few facts to amuse and inform you.
- 40% of all people who come to a party in your home snoop in your medicine cabinet. (Remember this when you throw your next party)
- Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die. (Our three main interests)
- Over the same period of time, women who read romance novels tend to have twice as many lovers as those who don’t. (Romance novels = motivation)
- The frequency with which a woman has orgasms during her sleep actually increases as she ages during her childbearing years. (Is it any wonder they think they can do without man completely)
- Mothers pregnant with boys are less forgetful than those carrying girls. (I don’t know what to make of this tidbit)
- Girls have more taste buds than boys. (I can go off-color here but I won’t)
As I’ve stated many times before I want to meet the people who research these odd bits of information just out of sheer curiosity. I’d like to know if these facts are really as accurate as they say. I also want to submit my resume to them for their next job opening. This would have to be the best freaking job on the planet and I want in.
THE GREAT WIDE WONDERFUL WORLD OF PEOPLE
✨Great Quote Award✨ Leave a comment
“A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always
depend on the support of Paul”
George Bernard Shaw
11/01/2021 Modern “#*%@&” Politicians Leave a comment
I honestly try to avoid getting into political discussions and arguments with people because any fool knows it’s a waste of time. As I’ve always explained, I don’t have a lot of good things to say about any politician whether they be Democrats or Republicans. I think the system has the ability to corrupt even the most honest elected official once they been in office for a period of time. As a lover of history I constantly fall back on the words and opinions of past politicians who practiced their politics in a different way than these modern magicians.
Today I think it’s time that we hear from some of those experts on exactly what a politician is or should be. These quotes, no matter how old, still retain a great deal of truth about the human condition both good and evil and how they operate within their political reality.
- “Politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.” Charles De Gaulle 1961
- Anonymous: Do you pray for the Senators, Dr. Hale? Hale:” No, I look at the Senators and pray for the country.” Edward Everett Hale 1964, Senate Chaplain
- “If ever this free people – if this Government itself is ever utterly demoralized, it will come from this human wriggle and struggle for office – a way to live without work; from which nature I am not free myself.” Abraham Lincoln 1865
- “Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get reelected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early-retirement.” John McClaughry 1978
- “A politician should have three hats: one for throwing in the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.” Carl Sandburg (1878-1967)
WORDS OF WISDOM ALWAYS REMAIN PERTINENT
10/31/2021 The Cure for What Ails You Leave a comment
I can only assume that all of you are as sick of this pandemic lifestyle we’ve been forced into. I know I’ve made some rather harsh remarks recently about people who refuse to get vaccinations but being a problem solver forced me to find a workable solution to possibly help those folks.
The coronavirus is one of a group of viruses which includes the common cold. I decided to check around to see if I can find anything that might assist the anti-vaxers to battle viruses without compromising their principles. What I’m about to tell you is nothing new but we’re running out of options and this may be the final one available for you undecided folks. Most of the symptoms of Covid-19 are similar to those of the common cold. With vaccines out of the mix I found this ancient remedy that may be worth a try. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. IMO
CURE #1
A woolen sock, yes you heard me, I said, a woolen sock. But you must use a woolen sock – not a synthetic, “nasty” fiber sock. The wool sock must be dirty – worn by someone else, preferably someone who is strong and healthy. It’s best for a woman with symptoms to use a healthy man’s soiled sock and vice versa.
The dirty sock should be turned inside out – with the grungy part on the outside. Wrap the sock around your neck and be sure the foot part of the sock covers the sorest spot of your throat. Leave it there all night. Be warned – you will smell, and it won’t be a good smell. Your partner most assuredly will insist you sleep on the sofa. But try to get a good nights sleep despite the terrible odor. In the morning, remove the sock and Ta Da! Your symptoms should be better.
The magic in this cure is the moisture of the dirty sock. The moisture from the healthy person is absorbed while he or she is wearing it. When that same sock is placed on a sore throat, the moisture is magically absorbed by the sick person and the illness is cured.
CURE #2
Another sock cure is to soak clean cotton socks – again, no synthetic fibers – in vinegar. Squeeze out the excess vinegar and put on the socks. Get a good nights sleep and upon wakening wash your feet. You also may want to open the windows and air out the bedroom! The vinegar in the socks supposedly draws out the illness. Where the symptoms go is anyone’s guess. So be on the safe side, don’t hang around folks who wear vinegar soaked socks. Make sure they’re at least 6 to 8 feet away at all-times. I’m assuming that social distancing isn’t something you object to on moral grounds.
Well there you have it. Two alternate solutions to avoid getting vaccinated and letting the scary government run your life.
THIS HAS BEEN A SARCASTIC PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
10/30/2021 Our Next “Younger Generation” Leave a comment
Welcome to the Every Useless Thing discussion on up-and-coming younger generations. It’s obvious that the older generations are responsible for the various nicknames to the younger generations i.e. Greatest Generation, Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y (Millennials), Gen Z, and the internet generation. Of course they never name themselves because that’s the job of the next generation to take care of. It’s all so silly. That’s why a history lesson is in order. Here we go . . .
I remember as a child being told by my parents that the younger generation (including me) were screwed up, uncaring, and unthinking. I took great offense to that and it just motivated me to rebel at every opportunity much to their chagrin. Jump ahead thirty-five years and I actually heard myself saying the same kinds of things during one of my angry moments in dealing with my son. Soon after that conversation I was having a coffee at a local café (pre-pandemic) and I just started chuckling to myself. The more I thought about the conversation with my son the funnier it became because it’s not often I’m able to recognize an epiphany when I have one.
I read quite a bit and the diversity of my subject matter is what makes it so much fun. The following quotation was in a recent book I read and as soon as I saw it I began chuckling again. Even 5000 years ago the adults were saying the same damn things about their younger generations and it keeps me optimistic about the generations to come. Also having a close relationship with a few of the younger generation keeps me on my toes and aware of their thoughts, ideas, and approaches to us grown-ups. Broad brushing a group of individuals is foolish and should be avoided at all costs.
A tablet from ancient Assyria, from about 2800 B.C., has been found that states: “Our earth is degenerate in these latter days. There are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end. Bribery and corruption are common.”
More than 2000 years later, Socrates complained, “Children are now tyrants . . .They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers.”
And Plato also wrote of his students: ” What is happening to our young people? They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions, their morals are decaying, what is to become of them?”
If reading that doesn’t make you chuckle just a little then you’ve got a problem. It gives me a great deal of comfort to think that the grown-ups then were moaning and complaining just like we do now and how the next generation will be moaning and complaining about us.
ITS ALL JUST TOO DAMN PREDICTABLE
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