Archive for the ‘Kill Me, I’m Begging You’ Category
We do a lot of trivia on this site which usually consists of total useless information about totally useless things and people. Today will be a miscellaneous mish-mash of things I’ve discovered recently. First is something called the Manner of Death statistics. It’s a list created by some group somewhere telling us all how we are dying in descending order of frequency. Enjoy!
Heart disease: 614,348
• Cancer: 591,699
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 147,101
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 136,053
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 133,103
Alzheimer’s disease: 93,541
Diabetes: 76,488
Influenza and pneumonia: 55,227
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 48,146
Intentional self-harm (suicide): 42,773
That’s enough to send a cold chill up anyone’s back. The perfect way to start your day. Next is a list of injury types, hospital data, and a whole lot more.
- Number of medically attended injury and poisoning episodes in the population: 39.5 million
- Episodes per 1,000 population: 126.3
- Number of visits (to physician offices, hospital outpatient and emergency departments) for injuries: 80.1 million (includes visits for adverse effects of drug, medicinal or biological substance)
- Number of emergency department visits for injuries: 43.0 million (includes visits for adverse effects of medical treatment)
- Number of discharges for fractures (all sites): 1.1 million
- Number of discharges for poisonings: 260,000
- Number of discharges for certain complications of surgical and medical care: 1.0 million
Mortality
Total number of deaths: 192,945
Deaths per 100,000 population: 60.2
Poisoning
Number of poisoning deaths: 48,545
Deaths per 100,000 population: 15.4
Traffic Deaths
Number of deaths: 33,804
Deaths per 100,000 population: 10.7
Firearm Deaths
Number of deaths: 33,636
Deaths per 100,000 population: 10.6
Are you feeling more secure now? Do you even want to leave the house? It appears that life in these United States is a real crap shoot. Roll the dice and hope for the best every time you leave the house.
I admit I’ve depressed myself with this posting so I’ll keep this last item short. On this day in history many people have passed on. Here are two that died on this day that I thought might interest you.
1948 Babe Ruth, Baseball legend (NY Yankees), dies in NY at 53
1977 Elvis Presley, American musician, dies at Graceland at 42. Official cause of death is cardiac arrhythmia
I THINK I’LL GO BACK TO BED
Mother Nature is normally not my friend.
We celebrated yesterday because it finally rained. Not like the dozen or so sprinkles we’ve received in recent weeks but an honest-to-god rain shower. The rain cooled things off overnight but ten minutes after the sun came out this morning the temperature zoomed back to 90 degrees.
I should be happy . . right? Not very. We need a good five or six days of rain just to get the water levels back where they belong. Early this morning at 5am both my better-half and I were awaken by the sounds of tree branches cracking. Just outside our bedroom window a rather large tree branch snapped and barely missing the house. This portion of the tree was obviously dead and we knew it was only a matter of time before it fell. I once attempted to climb the tree with a chain saw to cut it down but it was just too dangerous.
The house is just a few feet to the right of the photograph.
How it missed the house is a mystery but thank god it did. That’s the second time in the last year a tree has fallen close to the house and missed it completely. We must have a guardian angel keeping an eye on things.
Mother Nature isn’t usually this kind. I remember a time in Massachusetts that we had a storm that dropped a 100 foot tall oak tree onto our backyard and took the corner of my house with it. At the same time a giant pine tree fell on my car in the driveway and crushed it completely. I count my blessings any time she chooses to leave me alone. Today was one of those days.
MOTHER NATURE IS NOT NICE
I’ve been doing everything in my power to disassociate myself from politics during this presidential election year. I’ve been keeping my opinions to myself except for a few comments to my better-half. If the truth be told, I have little or no use for any political party at this point. I’ve morphed from being an social moderate, fiscal conservative Independent to an “Anyone But Hillary” Libertarian. Actually all of those labels are mostly BS anyway but everyone insists that everyone else have a label. If our forefathers could see us now they’d be sad, disappointed, and most certainly ashamed of what we’ve become and are still becoming.
With that thought in mind why don’t you sit back and read some of the thoughts of the men who helped create this country. Take those thoughts from our forefathers and match them up to any of the antics of either the Bushes or Clintons. If your an intelligent and thoughtful American you should be able to figure things out before pulling the lever for Hillary.
- “A government of laws, and not of men.” JOHN ADAMS 1774
- “If the government is in the hands of a few, they will tyrannize the many, if in the hands of the many, they will tyrannize over the few.” ALEXANDER HAMILTON 1787
- “A wise and frugal Government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government.” THOMAS JEFFERSON 1801
- “The aggregate happiness of the society, which is best promoted by the practice of a virtuous policy, is, or ought to be, the end of all government.” GEORGE WASHINGTON 1790
Do those statement in anyway describe our current political situation? That would be a big “HELL NO”. Lets take a moment to discuss with our forefathers the matter of government corruption.
- “Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor Liberty to purchase power.” BENJAMIN FRANKLIN 1738
- “Few men have enough virtue to withstand the highest bidder.” GEORGE WASHINGTON 1799
- “Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct.” THOMAS JEFFERSON 1821
- “Where the private interests of a member of Congress are concerned in a bill of question, he is to withdraw.” THOMAS JEFFERSON 1801
I think they’ve made my point for me. I’ll drop in one last quote from the most infamous of all politicians that perfectly describes many of out current representatives, senators, and Big Businesses.
- “I recognize no moral law in politics. Politics is a game, in which every sort of trick is permissible, and in which the rules are constantly being changed by the players to suit themselves.” ADOLF HITLER Mein Kampf 1924
I realize that my opinion means very little in the grand scheme of things but here it is anyway. Hillary Clinton is the epitome of what’s wrong with our government. Donald Trump may be brash, loud, and combative but he’s a better choice than anyone else I see. We’ve had eight years of Liberal nonsense with Obama and Hillary will be more of the same. Trump will be a breath of fresh air in the halls of Congress that currently smells a lot like a hot and humid day in an outhouse.
VOTE TRUMP!
As you all know I love gardening. That doesn’t change the fact that at times it’s as frustrating as hell. Last year my garden problems concerned a number of God’s annoying little critters that insisted on attacking my garden. Since I’m a problem solver I installed a fence around certain portions of the garden that they like to eat. Problem solved, right? No way. The following photos were some of the items harvested so far this year in spite of the critters.
The culprit from last years fiasco has since disappeared and we haven’t had one of his nightly visits this year. Unfortunately he has friends that were apparently given detailed directions to find us. This year for the first time in eight years we were visited by a big fat groundhog. He was sitting right in the middle of the yard watching the house when I spotted him the first time. He ran into a culvert to hide and I immediately dropped a couple of fire crackers in after him. If it didn’t scare him, it certainly deafened him. Problem solved, right! Not hardly.
A week later he was back sitting in the same spot and it appeared he may have been taunting me a little. I couldn’t see all that clearly but I think he might have been giving me the finger as well. It was time for the big guns. With my handy pistol in hand I gave chase and took a shot at him. He was one helluva lot faster than he looked and escaped with his life. Problem solved, Right! No effing way.
A few day later I discovered that someone had been eating my kale plants that were of course, not inside the damn fence. It’s man against the critters once again. I’ve never won any battles against them before but maybe this time I’ll have more luck.
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I HATE MOTHER NATURE
I’m a little late in posting today due in part to visiting family from Maryland. All of us have been kept rather busy for a few days which makes posting this blog more difficult. Things remain much of the same around here. I take care of the garden, cut what grass that hasn’t been burned away by the heat and lack of rain, and of course . . . PRAY FOR RAIN.
I’m also in the midst of a battle with a community of squirrels (both gray and red) that have a special love for our house and our bird feeders. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in our second floor living room doing some work on my laptop. The living room is directly adjacent to a porch that leads onto a second story deck. I had the door to the deck open so the stupid cat could lounge around outside which in hindsight was my first big mistake.
I was completely focused on the computer but noticed some movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked up and sitting in the middle of the living room was a red squirrel calmly watching me. Apparently a string of loud curse words are the perfect squirrel repellent I’ve been looking for. He made a dash for the door and onto the deck and dove straight into the nearby trees. Where was my ferocious cat? He was asleep on the chair not three feet from the damn squirrel. He barely blinked an eye as I was screaming at it. He’ll pay for his total lack of interest in the very near future.
The very next day I heard a noise on the porch and that same little red squirrel was in the process of chewing through a bag of bird seed. Again he escaped but just barely. He sat in a nearby tree chittering at me until I shot him in the ass with a B-B gun. I hate killing them but I will certainly take every opportunity to give him a bruise or two with that B-B gun.
Soooooooo! Today I was once again alone in the house working in the living room. I was really concentrating on my project and jumped nearly three feet in the air due to a loud crash on the porch. I ran over to investigate and found a big fat gray squirrel sitting next to an overturned container of bird seed. He saw me and very calmly walked out onto the deck and split. I may be a little slow on the uptake but I’m reasonably certain the word is out in the squirrel community that I have food on my porch.
Tomorrow I will begin taking steps to address these issues but I’m not optimistic. I’ve been involved in two other squirrel wars at other places I’ve lived and sadly lost them both.
I’M HOPING FOR THE BEST AND EXPECTING THE WORST
Have you ever had the pleasure of watching the movie, Adventures in Babysitting? I’ve loved that movie for years but living through the actual thing isn’t quite as satisfying. This past week has been an adventure for sure.
I’m officially awarding my better-half my version of the Medal of Honor. She was the main caregiver for two short and lovable little terrorists. I was involved as well but to a lesser degree and thank God for that. Just picture the situation. Both parents left on vacation and were off to LA LA Land. It was the first time that the two boys aged 1 and 3 were separated from their parents and someone had to pay and it was us, the grandparents. OMG!
My better-half may need a week or more to recuperate because they absolutely wore her out, took a short nap, and then wore her out again. She has the patience of a saint but I do not. She made a point of getting me involved as much as she possibly could and I’ll never let her hear the end of that. They drove me to the edge and when I wasn’t looking they kicked me into the abyss.
Diapers, noise, fighting, throwing stuff, and that was on the good days. I never thought I’d see the day when a one year old maniac would bean me with a toy truck as I sat and watched Alvin and the Chipmunks with his big brother for the umpteenth time. I know it’ll take weeks to get that damn theme song out of my head again.
I never realized that walking from my bed to the bathroom in the middle of the night could be so treacherous. It was like trying to tiptoe through a Lego minefield. I’m sure the pain in my foot will fade in a few weeks and I really do believe I look pretty cool walking with a slight limp.
Thank God their parents returned home last night and my better-half did what could be called a family drive-by. Drive to their home, dump the kids, jump back into the car and escape. I had a cold beer waiting for her and our living room had been cleared of most of the debris left in their wake. Two huge sighs of relief and a much needed moment of silence to thank the Gods this week was over.
We slept in this morning, had our delicious cups of coffee, and paused to enjoy the quiet. All in all the week was a success with no injuries, sicknesses, or fatalities. I saw my cat this morning and unfortunately he may have been traumatized permanently. We’ll have to wait and see about that.
IT WAS A GREAT WEEK
I’m still on my first cup of coffee this morning. I’ve been awake for an hour and only left my bed once. I’m relaxing and preparing for my day which I hope will remain calm and restful. I’m trying to decide what I’ll be doing with my unexpected few days of vacation I’m on. Anyone who is in a lengthy relationship knows that any day your spouse or partner is away doing something is a free vacation (mental health) day. We certainly never tell them that’s how we feel but facts are facts.
My better-half has once again volunteered to help out her daughter and son-in-law by babysitting their children for three days while they’re on vacation in Los Angeles. I volunteered to stay at our home while she travels to their residence to be with the kids. She’ll be staying there until the weekend and it’s my job to arrive in a timely fashion with takeout meals and moral support. That’s the kind of job I really like. For a change I’m able to avoid a total commitment of my time and energy to others and to enjoy my alone time Hooray for me.
I get to spend my day working on a painting I started a few days ago for which I need real peace and quiet to do. I hope to make serious progress over the next three days while listening to music that soothes me instead of hurting my ears. It could be as close to heaven as I can get these days and I intend to make the most of it. It will end soon enough.
My biggest chore for today is to decide what food I need to buy for their dinner and when to deliver it to her and the kids. I suspect she’ll be damn glad to see me after chasing the two toddlers, two dogs, and two cats around the house for half a day. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy but she seems to love it. I’d better remember to throw a couple of cold beers into the food bag as well. It’ll be just like tossing a life vest to a drowning man.
Well, I’d like to keep writing but my stomach is rumbling and wants to be fed. I’ll make us a delicious breakfast, drink another cup of excellent coffee, and count my blessings once again. I can picture in my head my better-half, the two little boys, two dogs, and two cats all snuggled together in bed for the next two nights. I can’t help but smile a little and when no ones around to hear I can laugh my ass off.
Special Note to Self: Be sure to give her a thorough flea and tick inspection upon her return. We don’t need any tiny livestock catching a ride to our house.
WHO DOESN’T LOVE VACATION DAYS
In my last post I took you on a tour of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. You got to see the beaches full of people, a friendly bar to hangout in, and a cute bikini clad girl buried in sand. I hope you didn’t think that covered our entire visit because there was much more to it. Today I’ll take you along on our continuing tour that includes my better-half’s favorite spot. Welcome to the Amusement Park.
Doesn’t look like much from the outside but . . .
The Arcade while not my favorite place is always interesting. Tourists from just about anywhere flock to this place to throw their money away or to just drop off their kids for a few hours. Where else can you win tickets for doing just about anything and at the end of your day you’d have spent forty bucks to win enough tickets to buy a pack of gum. My better-half is for some reason a Skee Ball addict. She insists on throwing her money away, winning a fistful of tickets, that she ends up giving to some kid who happens to be standing around picking his nose. It’s always puzzled me and I fear it will continue to do so.
Who can resist all of this fine looking merchandise?
Never let it be said that I’m immune to the attractions of this park. I was once again drawn to a booth where I was permitted to spend five bucks to throw two tiny bean bags at some under inflated balloons. Being a former Little League baseball player I was stunned when I actually broke two of those stupid balloons and won my honey this glorious and somewhat ridiculous prize.
Who doesn’t love a cuddly little frog?
Once again I became a willing victim of all the hype that’s constantly spewed by this park. It seems to happen every time I visit here and stranger still, I don’t mind at all.
I’m so excited by all the hubbub in an amusement park I actually feel kind of bad that I’m not permitted to ride these stupid rides. As a young kid I was too short to ride them and now all these years later I’m too tall and plump to fit in them. There’s just no justice in this world.
FORTUNATELY . . . IT’S ALL GOOD FUN!
OUR SUMMER CONTINUES!
With the better-half’s vacation coming to an end I can see the light at the end of the honey-do list tunnel. It’s been a great week for use both and to prove it I’m posting a number of miscellaneous photos taken in odd places at odd times. People may call these locations flea markets yard sales or garage sales but let me be a bit more accurate. It’s more like junk yards, piles of crap, or just plain garbage. I know I’m being a little harsh but OMG.
Just what every summer tourist needs . . . snow shoes.
Then who doesn’t need dishes and glassware at a quarter a piece?
I’ve held two garage sales in my life and I know how I prepared for the shopping public. I unloaded every piece of crap I could find onto tables, priced them for under a dollar, smiled a lot, lowered the prices when necessary, and at the end of the day I made a hundred dollars or so. Who knew my crap was so in demand.
Does this look familiar to you?
How about this.
I’m not a shopaholic like my better-half and thank god for that. I can only handle visiting a few of these places before I start to get a little crazy. It makes me itch all over with imaginary bugs and the smell at times is godawful.
Does anyone out there really need a POS boat. NO! How about a bunch of nasty looking lobster traps?
P. T. Barnum had it right all along. As far as suckers go, “There’s one born every minute.
SO TRUE . . . SO TRUE
Well, another holiday has come and gone. Overall it was a great weekend for us here in Maine. I do realize there are problems in many parts of this country where patriotism is now frowned upon for fear of alienating all of the aliens, both legal and more likely illegal. I recently read an article where a student was sent home from school because he wore a pro-America t- shirt. If that was my son I could easily been persuaded to some sort of violence and rightly so. I realize it’s chic and liberal to trash the United States at every turn but if nothing else it’s disrespectful as hell. It disrespects every person wearing the countries uniform and I suspect it’s mostly done by people who’ve never served.
Also shame on those of you in the academic ranks who insist on turning this country into a liberal, politically correct, and impotent world power by brainwashing our children with liberal claptrap (that’s right . . . I said claptrap.). Shame on you all.
Now that I have that rant off my chest let me continue. My better-half and I did a little traveling around our state over the weekend and I couldn’t have been prouder. It seems that the people of Maine may distrust our politicians (as they should) but still love their country. We must have seen five hundred or more flags flying from buildings, businesses, and homes.
In the town of Sebago, Maine which covers a rather large area, every telephone pole that we saw for miles was flying the colors. So to all of you America haters across the country how about finding the closest airport, get on the fastest plane you can find and GET THE HELL OUT (call me if you need a ride to the airport).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA
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