Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
03/10/2022 😂Stupid Headline😂 Leave a comment
03/05/2022 “Advice” Leave a comment
As you already know, I’m not a fan of celebrity worship nor politicians. Today will be a treat for you because I’m going to supply with helpful advice as voiced by both groups. It’s entirely up to you whether you follow their advice as you will see as you read.
- “Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.” Harry S Truman
- “You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.” Al Capone
- “Never trust a man unless you got his pecker in your pocket.” Lyndon Baines Johnson
- “Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.” Gypsy Rose Lee
- “Rise early. Work late. Strike oil.” J. Paul Getty
- “Never eat at a place called Mom’s. Never play cards with a man named Doc. And never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.” Nelson Algren
- “There’s nothing to winning, really. That is, if you happen to be blessed with a keen eye, an agile mind, and no scruples whatsoever.” Alfred Hitchcock
- “To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it.” Cary Grant
- “Don’t let your mouth write a check that your tail can’t cash.” Bo Diddley
- “Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn’t want your mother to hear at the trial” Sydney Biddle Barrows (the Mayflower Madam).
WHO CAN ARGUE WITH THESE EXPERTS?
03/05/2022 👁🗨Stupid Headline👁🗨 2 comments
CONDOM TRUCK TIPS, SPILLS LOAD
02/27/2022 Go Sarah! Leave a comment
Right after I awoke this morning, I got online and was watching a blurb from one of Sarah Silverman’s podcasts. I’ve always been a fan of Silverman and I appreciate her views on a lot of subjects and love her comedy. She was talking briefly about being taken to task by Paris Hilton for some jokes made a number of years ago when Hilton seemed to be on every TV, every hour, and was just annoying as she could be. Sarah doesn’t need me to defend her because she’s more than capable of doing that job all by herself. I just thought I’d make a few comments of my own and exercise my Freedom of Speech. Please Ms. Hilton, “Shut the hell up”. I’m certain you will make sure you get as much media coverage as you can now that you’re a reformed celebrity and a wife. I’d better not see any honeymoon videos accidently released to the media as has happened a few times in the past. Just to let everyone know how I really see her, read a few of her ridiculous pearls of wisdom she insisted on sharing with the world.
- “Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.”
- There’s nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I’m that icon.”
- “I don’t think there’s ever been anyone like me that’s lasted.”
- “I hate when a guy brags … or he sweats.”
“OH, TO BE ABLE TO RETURN TO “THE SIMPLE LIFE”
SARAH SILVERMAN RULES ! ! !
02/27/2022 😖Stupid Headline🤓 Leave a comment
ONE ARMED MAN APPLAUDS
THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS
02/23/2022 “Tyrants” Leave a comment
I’m a little depressed today after reviewing the maneuverings of Putin in Russia. His attempts to reconstruct the old USSR continue. I think that’s a foolish goal and will do nothing except destroy the economies of millions of people and caused the deaths of thousands more. Putin is old school, and he thinks and acts like it’s still World War II. Thinking like the KGB operative he once was he’s sure he’s the baddest guy on the block. The day will come when he’ll be forced to recognize that the days of the KGB and the USSR are over. He’s following in the footsteps of Russia’s worst enemy and is making the Ukraine the new Poland. Fortunately for the world, tyrants almost never meet a happy end. Here are a few additional thoughts on tyrants.
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
“It is an is characteristic of a tyrant to dislike everyone who has dignity or independence; he wants to be alone in his glory, but anyone who claims a like dignity or asserts his independence encroaches upon his prerogative and is hated by him as an enemy to his power.”
“A tyrant should also endeavor to know what each of his subjects says or does, and should employ spies . . . For the fear of informers prevents people from speaking their minds, and if they do, they are more easily found out. Another art of the tyrant is to sow quarrels among the citizens.”
Joseph Campbell (1904-1987)
“The tyrant is proud, and therein resides his doom. He is proud because he thinks of his strength as his own; thus, he is in the clown role, as a mistaker of shadow for substance; it is his destiny to be tricked.”
WILL THE SANCTIONS WORK ??
02/21/2022 Monday Humor Leave a comment
It’s a cold Monday in February which means “Hurry Up Spring” I’m tired of waiting for you to get here. With that thought in mind I feel the need for something humorous on this drab Monday. I’ll try to keep my posted jokes no worse than PG, but I make no absolute guarantees. Unfortunately, I love bawdy humor thye most but I’m screening as best I can.
“One spring day two men were out in the woods hunting. Feeling a sudden need to relieve himself, George went over to the nearby clump of bushes, unzipped his fly, and started in when a poisonous snake lunged out of the greenery and bite him on his penis. Hearing George’s howl of pain and fright, his friend Fred came running up and told him to lie still while he rushed into town for a doctor. “There’s only one way to save your friends life,” said the doctor gravely. “If you cut an X over the bite and then suck all the poison out, you’ll probably be okay, but otherwise there’s not much hope.” Hearing Fred’s footsteps, George rose weakly up on one elbow and cried out, “Fred, what’d he say? What did the doctor say?” “George, old friend, “said Fred sadly, “he said you’re going to die.”
😋😋😋
A woman went into the neighborhood grocery store and ask the grocer for a can of cat food. The grocer knew the woman and knew that she didn’t have a cat. So, he asked why she was buying the cat food. The woman replied, “It’s for my husband’s lunch. “The grocer was shocked and said, “You can’t feed the cat food to your husband! It will kill him.” “I’ve been giving it to him for a week now, and he really likes it!” she replied. And so, each day, the woman would come in and buy a can of cat food for her husband’s lunch. One day the grocer happened to be scanning the obituary columns of the local newspaper and noticed that the woman’s husband had passed away. When she came into the store a few days later, he said to her, “I’m sorry to hear about your husband, but I told you that if you kept giving him cat food it would kill him.” The woman replied, “It wasn’t the cat food that killed them. He broke his neck trying to lick his ass!”
So much for my Monday humor. I firmly believe they would’ve been much funnier if I had posted some really dirty jokes. I’ll bear that in mind for future postings. Here’s one final joke for all of you sports fans out there.
Why did the Detroit Lions hire two nuns and a prostitute for next season? A: Because they’re in dire need of two tight ends and a wide receiver.
I KNOW . . . IT’S A LITTLE LAME
02/19/2022 The Egg! Leave a comment
I’m too much of a cynic to be a big believer in superstitions. They’re fun to talk about and laugh about but only a small percentage of people actually believe most of that nonsense. We’ve all heard about “don’t walk under ladders” or “black cats crossing our path”, and dozens more. I happened upon some additional information that I’d never heard before concerning the everyday common egg. You can believe what you will, I’m just spreading the word for fun.
- Superstitions about eggs are still held, particularly in rural farming areas. One such belief is that if you see many broken eggs, you will soon have a lawsuit on your hands.
- If you find a snake’s egg in a hen’s nest, your friends are really your enemies.
- It is bad luck to bring a wild bird’s egg into the house.
- If a woman dreams of eggs, she will quarrel with her friends.
- Two yolks in one egg means good luck for the one who eats them. Folks who only buy eggs fresh from the farm will have the opportunity to find these. Factory examinations these days usually eliminate double yellow yolkers.
- Eggs laid on Friday will cure stomach aches. Of course, only folks who keep laying hens know when the eggs are actually laid. This superstition is impossible to follow in heavily populated urban areas.
- In some parts of the Middle East if you buy a new car, you have to kill a chicken and pour the blood on it. The chickens’ blood was thought to ward off any evil spirits that may be lurking in the vehicle.
- Throughout human history, more eggs have been eaten raw rather than cooked! Eggs have always been a chief source of protein for primal humans and still are in most cultures. Americans often drink raw eggs in eggnog, flavored with a taste of vanilla and doused with whipped cream, another source of protein.
As I’m sure you can recall over the last few decades eggs were first vilified as being unhealthy and a few years later some illustrious scientists changed their minds. All of a sudden eggs became a healthy addition to our diet. So much for the credibility of governmental and scientific experts. I simply love eggs, always have and always will. If eating large numbers of eggs is going to kill me, so be it (I think the bad water and air will get me first). At least I’ll die with a smile on my face because I just love eggs (with lots of bacon, of course).
WHO DOESN’T LOVE HEN FRUIT??
02/17/2022 😁Stupid Quote😆 Leave a comment
everyuselessthing.com 