Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Today I’m feeling a little odd which means I’m going to take a trip down the weird road. Here are few strange and weird facts which you may have heard before, but I doubt it.
- Diabetes can lead to high levels of sugar in the urine. Before simple tests for sugar levels were available, doctors would taste their patient’s urine to see if it was sweet!
- The belief that a person can cause bad luck for someone else simply by looking at them is known as the “evil eye.”
- One evil theory to explain why a dunked witch would not float was that witches deliberately ate foods that made them fart. The gas would build up in their guts, making them lighter than air, so they could fly.
- In Europe in the Middle Ages, it was believed that there were over 7 million demons in the air, which could be inhaled or swallowed and would cause disease or make a corpse turned into a vampire.
- The human eye can see only about 3000 stars on the clearest night, even though there are more than 100 billion stars in our galaxy alone.
- The first rock music taken into space is thought to be a Pink Floyd tape taken to the space station Mir in 1988 by French astronaut Jean-Loup Chretien. Perhaps it was The Dark Side of the Moon.
- According to a 1991 survey of Americans, 2% reported experiences that indicated they might have been abducted by aliens. This would mean that one in 50 Americans have been abducted – that’s over 5 million, at the rate of 2740 per day! Skeptics point out that this would mean the skies over America must be full of hundreds of alien spaceships every night.
- Elephants are also among the world’s most potentially dangerous animals, capable of crushing and killing any other land animal, from rhinoceros and lions to humans. It is thought they may kill up to 500 people every year.
- The mantis shrimp is a delicacy in China, where it is used in a dish known as “pissing shrimp” because the mantis shrimp urinates itself when put in a cooking pot.
- Emetophobia is a fear of vomiting or of being around others who are vomiting. It is the fifth most common phobia according to the International Emetophobia Society.
Well, that fills my quota for today of the weird and odd. As always more to come.
WHO DOESN’T LOVE WEIRD?
I’m sitting here looking out the window and it’s hardly worth doing. It’s snowy, sleeting, cold, and in general a real shit show. It’s a great day to be inside and to stay inside. It’s also a slow news week due primarily to the Olympics of which I really don’t care much about. With that in mind I thought I’d take you back 30 years to revisit some vintage bumper stickers. These were collected between 1988 and 1990 and might prove interesting to some of you and others won’t give a damn anyway. I’m feeling lazy today so here they are . . .
Watch Out! I Drive Like You Do.
Go Ahead, Make My Day.
I Brake For Idiots Like You.
Instant Fool. Just Add Beer.
Live And Let Die.
If It’s Too Loud, You’re Too Old.
Clothes Required, Underwear Optional.
Left-Handers Are In Their Right Mind.
Good Girls Go to Heaven. Bad Girls Go Everywhere.
Still Crazy After All These Beers.
Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Naked.
Old Musicians Never Die, They Just Decompose.
I’m Not Playing Hard To Get. I Am Hard To Get.
We Came, We Saw, We Yawned.
Sure, I’ll Respect You In The Morning. What Was Your Name Again?
I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T CARE, AND IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYWAY.
Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives a New Attorney
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Marion Shepilov Barry was an American politician who served as the second and fourth mayor of the District of Columbia from 1979 to 1991 and 1995 to 1999.
Who is the dumbest? This might be the stupidest question ever asked by anyone including myself. There is so much dumb going around in recent years, it would take me forever to put a coherent list together of the worst of them. I’ve been alive a long time and I’ve seen dumb, heard dumb, and on occasion spoke dumb myself. It’s only right that I’ve chosen to honor former mayor Marion Barry of Washington D.C. fame. He had problems putting together an eight-word sentence and if you don’t believe me, read on. His dumbness was also all too obvious when it came to hookers and crack cocaine. Someone at his level of stupid deserves to be memorialized by me, today and here are his tidbits of wisdom . . .
- “I am providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raised . . .”
- “What we have here is an egregemous miscarriagement of taxitude.”
- “The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against adversity during this long period of increment weather.”
- “I promise you a police car on every sidewalk.”
- “I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria, or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol, can you deny that Africa?”
- “What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?”
- “Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
- “People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn’t break, would it be my responsibility to fix them than? Would it?”
- “There are two kinds of truth. There are real truths, and there are made up truths.”
- “I am a great mayor, I am an upstanding Christian man, I am an intelligent man, I am a deeply educated man, and I’m a humble man.”
How could we possibly go wrong when this is the standard someone has to meet to be elected in the nation’s capitol. Is it any wonder Washington D.C. and Congress are eternally screwed up? Instead of firing and prosecuting Mayor Barry, we should have elected him President, it worked so well for Bill Clinton, so why not. I shouldn’t complain, I guess. If all politicians were actually what they claimed to be I wouldn’t have anything to write about.
IT’S TOO BAD ABOUT BARRY, BUT HE WAS NO DAN QUAYLE
Police Find Crack in Man’s Buttocks
Today’s the day for another somewhat gross and disgusting posting in line with my Crime and Punishment post from a few days ago. I’m not trying to be morbid, but exploring the human condition is interesting. In these days of Islamic terrorism where 10% of Muslims (rough estimate) want to kill us, I thought a historical review of torture techniques might be in order.
There was such an uproar made about the United States allowing waterboarding a few years back that the following list of torture techniques might have some of those terrorists praying for waterboarding. I’m a firm believer if somebody’s out kill you it is within your rights to do anything (and I mean anything) to protect yourself and an absolute requirement that you kill them back. If waterboarding helps keep me and mine safe, so be it. This list should let everyone know that things could be a helluva lot worse.
- Foot Roasting – Victim immobilized on a frame and his bare soles coated with lard or oil and roasted over an open fire.
- Pitch Capping – Boiling hot tar is poured into a bowl, which is then poured onto the bound victim. This boils the scalp. Then when the cap is ripped off it brings the scalp with it.
- Denailing – Finger and toenails are ripped off by forcing flaming skewers tipped with sulphur under them.
- The Rack – The victim is stretched over a rack with ropes ties to the hands and feet. The body is slowly stretched until the cords cut through the flesh of the arms.
- Water Cure – Using a funnel the victim is forced to drink large quantities of water or nastier liquids. This causes great pain and vomiting when the stomach is distended. It is repeated as often as necessary.
- Foot Beating – Beating the soles of the feet with a metal bar or stick.
And last but not least for the more liberal of our citizens and preapproved by the Democratic Party, intense tickling till they scream and a serious threat of calling their mother, should keep those terrorists awake nights. Brutal but necessary.
I ALWAYS LIKED THAT INTENSE TICKLING
Being a former police officer, I still maintain interest in all things criminal, crime related, and punishment. I’m also a big fan of almost any book, fiction or nonfiction, about investigations concerning any crime you can think of. That makes today Crime and Punishment Trivia Day and I’ll pass along a few tidbits you may find interesting.
Let’s go back in history a few hundred years to examine methods of punishment for murderers, rapists, and traitors. From what I can see they were a little harsher with punishment than we seem to be these days.
- First on the list is the wheel. Criminals were lashed to a wagon wheel and their limbs bludgeoned or broken by brute force. Ugly but effective.
- Next, we have boiling. The criminals were immersed in boiling water, oil, or hot tar and fried to death. Yuck! Soups on.
- Another favorite was flaying. That involves the removal of a person’s skin which could keep the criminal alive for a day or two until he died from shock. I’d say this is really cruel and really unusual punishment.
- This is a Chinese favorite called “The Death of a Thousand Cuts”. It is where the criminal was lashed to a frame and over a period of days pieces of their body were severed and removed with a knife. Had to be the Mongolians who started this trend.
- This crowd-pleaser is called disembowelment. The criminal’s abdomen was opened while alive with a knife, and his organs were individually removed, particularly the bowels. No comment on this disgusting method since I had it done to me but with an anesthesia.
- Impalement involves driving a pointed stake through the victim’s body from the rectum up through the breast and shoulder. Ouch!!!!!
- Stoning is when a large group of people were gathered together to throw stones at the criminal. The point here is that no single person is responsible for the death, it’s a group act. What a Sharia loving group.
- Decapitation is the removal of the victims’ head by knife, sword, ax, or guillotine. One way to keep ahead of the criminals.
- Burning at the stake involves exposing the criminal to direct flames or heat until death occurs. Barbecues had to start somewhere.
- Hanging, drawn, and quartering requires criminals to be dragged behind a horse to a platform where they were then hanged, removed just before the moment of death, and then castrated, disemboweled, beheaded, and quartered. That’s like killing the criminal three times over.
- And last but not least an unusual punishment popular in Southeast Asia from the 11th – 18th centuries. The criminal is tied up, placed under the foot of an elephant, and then crushed. No more circus visits for me, I’ll have nightmares.
I think all of the criminals living in this country should count their blessings and except Life Imprisonment Without Chance of Parole as being mighty generous and merciful. It’s hard to imagine how many of these methods were used often and without hesitation. It’s also hard to imagine how they had any crime rate whatsoever when the criminals knew these kinds of punishments were being handed out. But to quote an expert, “Stupid is as Stupid Does”.
THANKS GO OUT TO FORREST GUMP FOR THE QUOTE
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everyuselessthing.com 