Archive for the ‘nonsense’ Tag

04-17-2014 The Search for Justice and Fairness!   2 comments

I can’t even begin to remember just how many times over the years I’ve taken attorneys, the ACLU, and the court systems to task.  I feel I’m as qualified as anyone to bitch and complain about the system because of my long career of working with hundreds of attorneys, judges,and a host of criminal and civil defendants.  Everyday that goes by we hear strange stories about  how screwed up things have become  with the courts and unfortunately the weirder the story the more likely it is to be true. 

I received the following information from a friend who is a retired law enforcement individual with more years of experience than anyone I know.    I pass it along for your amusement and  with a great deal of sympathy for us all.

th1FOSWEKL

THE STELLA AWARDS

It’s time again for the annual ‘Stella Awards’! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald’s in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That’s right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head.

Here are the Stella’s for year — 2013:

* SEVENTH PLACE *   

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict , considering the running toddler was her own son

* SIXTH PLACE *

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps .  

* FIFTH PLACE *  

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count ’em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.

* FOURTH PLACE *

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle – even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun .  

thXENQROFR

* THIRD PLACE *  

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument .

*SECOND PLACE *   

Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000 plus dental expenses.

And last but certainly not least:

* FIRST PLACE *

This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma , who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set.

The Oklahoma jury awarded her  $1,750,000 and a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their operator’s manuals as a result of this suit. 

I could continue telling these kind of stories for hours but the point has already been made.  Sue anyone for anything at anytime regardless of the circumstances.  Welcome to the “Land of the Free” and the home of the “Incredibly Stupid”.

12-11-2013 More Christmas & Kwanza Factoids   Leave a comment

I wonder about Christmas sometimes.  We know it wasn’t the actual day that Christ was born and we’re pretty sure the entire story was made up well after the fact by people who weren’t even there.  Yet it remains the ultimate religious observance except maybe for Easter where religion has slowly faded into the background.  As always I have a lot of questions and felt  the need to search out some answers.  Unfortunately there are as many answers as there are versions of the original story.  Here’s a few that I found.

* * *

Why are there Twelve Days of Christmas?

Traditionally, it took the ‘Three Kings’ this number of days to find the baby Jesus. Their arrival on the twelfth day was celebrated in the form of the Feast of Epiphany in medieval France, and later in other countries.

Where did the Candy Cane come from?

In a small Indiana town, there was a candy maker who wanted to spread the name of Jesus around the world. He invented the Christmas Candy Cane, incorporating symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy to symbolize the Virgin Birth. The candy maker formed the stick into a “J” to represent the name of Jesus or it can also represent the staff of the “Good Shepherd.” He thought the candy was too plain so he stained it with a red stripe to symbolize the blood shed by Christ on the cross.

Weird Christmas Games

Shoe the Wild Mare

Shoeing the Wild Mare is a traditional Christmas game that goes back to at least the early 17th century. Get a narrow(a few inches wide),strong wooden beam and suspend it from the roof with two even length ropes. The beam is the ‘mare’ of the title and should be level yet high enough above the floor so that a player’s feet are off-ground. A player ‘the farrier’ then sits on the ‘mare’ in the center, a leg on either side. This player has a hammer and has to give the underside of the beam “four time eight blows” at a designated spot. If he falls off, it is someone else’s turn. Much hilarity, and the odd broken shoulder ensues.

Snapdragons

Apparently this is the best game ever to play on Christmas Eve. Make sure you have the fire department on speed dial though. Very popular from the 16th to the 19th centuries, Snapdragons  has explicably declined in popularity.

Gather everyone around the dining room table, place a large flat dish in the center. In the dish scatter a good handful of raisins then pour on top a layer of brandy or cognac. Set fire to the brandy and dim the lights. Players take turns  plucking a raisin out of the burning liquid and eating it quickly. For a more competitive edge to the game use larger dried fruit such as apricots, one of which has a lucky coin stuffed inside.

Equipment needed: plate, matches, raisins, brandy, and the address of nearest fire department.

* * *

I could easily have added another fifty items even more stupid than these but life’s too short.  I’ve decided that every story  about Christmas and every weird tradition that’s been adopted any where on the planet is nothing more than a large steaming pile.  I give up.  When it comes right down to it Christmas is no more legitimate than Kwanza.  I’d love to be around in a hundred years or so to see what Kwansa morphs into.  They’ll always be a herd of idiots who’ll believe almost anything they’re told by just about anyone.  I wonder if this country will ever be invaded by Kwanza believers with bombs strapped to their chests, angry that their religion is being disrespected.  It could happen.  I’m also glad I won’t be here to see it.

MERRY EFFING KWANZA

11-11-2013 November Holidays   1 comment

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.   Charles Darwin

I know a lot of you folks are already gearing up for the holidays.  The month of November begins the insanity that is Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then New Years. For me I find Veterans Day to be more important than the others.  I assume that most vets feel the same way.  I don’t like making a big deal out of it on this blog because for me it’s more of a private and solemn occasion.  I’ll thank any vet who has served this country and I honor those who gave their lives in it’s defense. That’s all you’ll hear today from me.  I see no need for patriotic songs and fancy memorials.  Just a quiet minute and a bowed head and I’m good.

I expect that everyone is already being bombarded by that good old Christmas spirit since most retailers filled their shelves with Christmas cheer before Halloween. I find that unfortunate but not unexpected. I suppose it’s just a matter of time before they start pushing Christmas sometime in August. Spend, Spend, Spend!  That’s becoming an almost religious mantra in this country and I don’t see it stopping anytime soon.

I made a quick review of some national observances for the month of November and it’s mind boggling.  Who knew this month was so damn important.  It’s also mind boggling just how much time our well paid and self-involved representatives have wasted having these observances enacted. This list is only the monthly observances.  There are an additional 28 weekly  and 128 daily observances I didn’t bother listing.  If we truly trust in our legislators to do the right thing then we should be celebrating each and every one of them.  So folks, in the future we should all take November off and party like the fools that we are.  Find an observance you like and then celebrate it.

Adopt A Senior Pet Month Link
American & National Diabetes Month
American Indian Heritage Month Link  (See also August)
Aviation History Month
Banana Pudding Lovers Month
Diabetic Eye Disease Month
Epilepsy Awareness Month Link
Family Stories Month Link
Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month
Greens and Plantains Month Link
Historic Bridge Awareness Month Link
International Drum (Percussion) Month Link
Lung Cancer Awareness Month
Manatee Awareness Month Link
MADD’s Tie One On For Safety Holiday Campaign (11/16-12/31)
Military Family Appreciation Month Link
National Adoption Month
National PPSI AIDS Awareness Month
National Alzheimer’s Disease Month
National COPD Month Link
National Family Caregivers Month Link
National Georgia Pecan Month
National Home Care & Hospice Month Link
National Impotency Month Link
National Inspirational Role Models Month
National Life Writing Month
National Long-term Care Awareness Month
National Marrow Awareness Month
National Medical Science Liaison (MSL) Awareness & Appreciation Month Link
National Native American Heritage Month Link
National Family Literacy Month
National Novel Writing Month Link
National Peanut Butter Lovers Month
National Pet Cancer Awareness Month
National Pomegranate Month Link
National PPSI Aids Awareness Month
National Roasting Month Link
National Scholarship Month Link
Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month Link
Plum and Pomegranate Month Link
Prematurity Awareness Month Link
PTA Healthy Lifestyles Month Link
Spinach and Squash Month Link
Sweet Potato Awareness Month Link  (See also February)
NoSHAVEmber (US – Beard Month or November (Australia – Moustache Month )
Vegan Month
Worldwide Bereaved Siblings Month
World Sponge Month

I’m exhausted just reading this list let alone paying any attention to it. With Thanksgiving on the horizon don’t forget to be thankful for our politicians of both parties for doing their part in screwing up this country like none of our enemies have been able to do.  Darwin’s quote is very telling these days.

07-09-2013   Leave a comment

I receive a few emails each week and unfortunately some of them are more than a little rude.  The people who send those messages apparently don’t wish to have their user ID’s published in my Comments section.  Every once in a great while I receive something that makes me smile and when that occurs I pass it along to you.

Recently I was sent the following information from an anonymous emailer.  He claimed he likes reading my postings that contain quotations.  He collected a few of his own from friends and other unknown sources and sent them along. In my opinion they seem more like bumper stickers than quotations but  I’m forwarding them along on the side chance you’ll get a chuckle or two. I’m also really glad I don’t know any of this guys friends because some of these are sooooo freaking lame.  Hold your nose with one hand and read on. 

  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • I just got lost in thought and believe me It was unfamiliar territory.
  • Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.
  • 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.
  • Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.
  • Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
  • Birds of a feather flock together, and crap on your car.
  • I can resist everything except temptation.
  • If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
  • Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
  • Born free, taxed to death.
  • Smile, it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.
  • In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
  • Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think about it,  neither does milk.
  • In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
  • Silence is golden… duck tape is silver.

The only one I really liked and appreciated was the last one on the list. For some reason that one just clicked for me.  At first I laughed and then after thinking about it for a moment or two realized just how true it is and laughed again.  Sometime it’s necessary to break up the day with a little silliness and that one did it for me. 

So here’s a special thanks to Mr. Anonymous for his contribution.  Next time send me some actual quotations because I love reading them too.

07-02-2013   1 comment

With the holiday fast approaching I decided to have an easy day by posting some more of that useless crap everyone seems to love.  Some of these are really interesting and others not so much.  I hope you trivia lovers out there make good use of this valuable and uninteresting nonsense.

  • A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.
  • When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop … even your heart.
  • 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
  • The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
    The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
  • The average housefly lives for one month.
  • A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
  • The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
  • Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
  • The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it’s head are the rabbit and the parrot.
  • Michael Jackson’s estate owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
  • In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
  • The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
  • Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were seventh cousins.
  • Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
  • There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
  • A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
  • There are more chickens than people in the world.
  • Two-thirds of the world’s eggplants are grown in New Jersey.
  • The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

I’m still debating with myself as to what sort of posting I should do for the holiday.  I’m not really interested in flying the flag with all of the normal corny stuff you might expect.  I’ve done it in the past but it leaves me feeling a little disappointed in myself that I can’t come up with something a little more original.  I’m sure to have it figured out by tomorrow.