Archive for the ‘60’s’ Tag

01-08-2016 Journal–Maine Woodstock 2016!   Leave a comment

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‘1969 was an interesting year.’

How to kill an entire Sunday.  Let me tell you how I did it.  Yesterday my better-half was scheduled to work and I was looking forward to a day of peace and quiet and time to work on MY projects. How could I even dare to imagine something like that, I should have known better.

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‘Who loves you Janis’

Unfortunately some months ago I made a commitment to her concerning the laptop she’d just purchased.  I promised I’d help her setup the new laptop by transferring all of her photographs from the old to the new. This should teach me a valuable lesson for the future. Never volunteer for something unless you’re absolutely sure you know what your getting into. I thought I knew but apparently I was once again clueless.

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‘The spooky Doors.’

I cleared off the kitchen table, fired up both computers, made a pot of coffee, and settled in for what I thought would be an hour or two of work. Oh how stupid I am.  Little did I know just how many photo’s she had scattered throughout that hard drive of her old computer. She had pictures from multiple cameras going back six years. There were videos from both her IPhone and IPad and I kid you not . . . more than ten thousand pictures taken with an assortment of past and present cell phones. She apparently has never discovered the use of the delete button.  It was a trash dump of photo’s placed on that laptop with absolutely no attempt at organization whatsoever.

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‘Jumpin Joe Cocker’

As always I fall back to the old adage “When someone gives you lemons, make lemonade.”  I found my own IPod and plugged it in, put on the headset and spent the next seven hours having a 60’s Flashback Sunday.  I started out by listening to the entire three days of Woodstock with the original recordings.  That required me to immediately switch from just coffee to coffee laced with Drambuie.  I then cranked up Joe Cocker, The Band, The Yardbirds, The Hollies, Janis Joplin, The Doors, and even the Greatest Hits of War. 

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‘My favorite band, The Band. ‘RIP Levon’

At the end of the day I’d transferred no less than twenty-five thousand pictures to the new laptop and was suffering from a serious coffee buzz overlapped with a Drambuie buzz.  There’s nothing better than Drambuie so after I finished transferring all the files I stopped drinking the coffee. From that point on it was Drambuie, Amy Winehouse  and me.  What a great way to spend the day and complete a tiresome project.

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‘Sweet Amy’

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‘Even sweeter . . . Drambuie on the lips.’

Today I’m back to what I’d call normal but still showing signs of a rather interesting hangover. For some reason my first cup of coffee this morning tasted strangely like Drambuie. How odd! I guess that’s one of the effects of time travel back to the sixties. Along with rocking out, a sore throat from all of the singing along, and being able to return home with no arrests or STD’s to show for it.

That’s what I’d call a good day in any decade.

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12-10-2015 Journal– A Korean Christmas Story!   1 comment

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I’ve talked a great deal over the years about my experiences while serving in the Army. As with any young man or woman serving outside of this country, being away from home and family during the Christmas season for the first time is difficult.  In my case I was not only away from family, I was in a non-Christian county that seemed to be more than a little primitive to me.

Their religion was primarily Buddhist and the Christmas holiday meant very little to them. They at times pretended to understand but that was motivated entirely by their desire to make money from visiting Americans.

At the time I was stationed in an area that was primarily populated by rice farmers living in small villages that dotted the northern countryside. There were no paved roads and most villages only had electric power for a few hours a day.  For those of us from the United States it was like traveling back in time a hundred years.

I was living almost full time in a local village and actually had my laundry taken to a local river where it was beaten on the rocks with wooded paddles and soap.  That certainly took some getting used to for me.  My Korean friends seemed totally befuddled by the entire Christmas holiday bro-ha-ha and sat silently as I tried to explain it to them. They were interested in my stories of Christ and the Magi, but the virgin birth story had them all silently giggling a little.

Regardless I was determined to have a Christmas celebration so I asked a few of my them for their help in putting up a Christmas tree.  They agreed to help but weren’t exactly sure what I was up to. As that project was progressing I had a little old mama-san ask me through an interpreter why would any sane person put a tree inside their home. I was hard pressed to answer her because I didn’t know the reason either. They continued to humor me as I explained other peculiarities that they couldn’t quite grasp.

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A week or so later with two Korean friends I hiked up a nearby mountain near a small Buddhist temple to find a tree. We ended up dragging back the sorriest looking bush you could ever imagine, set it up in my hooch, and started to decorate it as best we could. There was a hand-made star on top of the tree (my doing) and a number of pieces of charcoal tied to the branches with twine (their doing). I never had that fully explained to me but it was what they wanted to do. It had something to do with good luck or good pregnancy or something. Since we had no electricity they suggested placing candles in and around the tree but I nixed that immediately. The last thing we needed was to burn down my hooch and a portion of the village when a little, dry, and nasty looking tree, bust  into flames.

I had some GI decorations I made from C-rations that looked stupid as hell but they loved it. Later we ate most of the decorations and drank a bottle of really cheap brandy that I’d brought along for the occasion. I presented them each with a small gift of candy and got a little kiss on the cheek from everyone.

I was still a little homesick but that weird little celebration came to mean a lot to me over the years. It was cozy, friendly, and more than a little strange but it was also genuine. They forever became part of my extended family because they’d made an effort to help get me through a very difficult time. Christmas, the holiday, had very little meaning to them but they realized how important it was to me. 

I still wonder to this day if any of them have fond memories of that night and think about it occasionally. I also hope that all of my comrades-in-arms who are away from home this Christmas are lucky enough to find some friends like I did.

Please keep them all in your thoughts and prayers.

14 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT TIL THIS ONE

08-05-2013   Leave a comment

Welcome back to the next installment of E.U.T. (Every Useless Thing) University’s on-line education program. It’s the best known reservoir for totally useless knowledge and through our detailed courses of study we will explain many of those things that have puzzled mankind for centuries.  Here are lesson plans #5 and #6. These topics are not common knowledge but we at E.U.T.U have searched for and found the truth just for you.

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Lesson #5 – How Did the “Missionary Position” Get It’s Name?

The missionary position is a position for sexual intercourse in which the man and woman lie facing each other, with the man on top of the woman. It is probably the best-known sexual position has been adopted by people for centuries.

The name of the position is widely thought to be derived from the early European missionaries, who discovered that native people in the New World were employing other unorthodox positions, such as the man penetrating the woman from behind. The missionaries taught the natives that couples facing each other was the only position that was acceptable to God (because it was more intimate, enabling both partners to see and kiss each other) and that any other position was considered unnatural. It is generally thought that these teachings were carried out by St. Paul who believed that the woman should be underneath the man during intercourse, while St. Augustine also taught that any other position was a sin against nature.

The term was first recorded in its popular definition in the 1960’s.

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Isn’t it amazing that so many of our current issues concerning sex and procreation were caused by a handful of prudish and allegedly holy men who passed it down to the “free love generation”. That irony at it’s very best.

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Lesson #6 – What is the G Spot and Where is It?

The G spot is a small area in a woman’s vagina that, when stimulated, is said to give her intense orgasms. It’s named after its discoverer Ernest Grafenberg, a German physician who conducted research on that area of the vagina in the 1950’s. In recent years.

The G spot is said to be located on the upper front vaginal wall, close to where the urethra joins the bladder. While its exact position can vary, it is commonly situated 2 to 3 inches inside the vagina, directly behind the pubic bone. It is the size of a small coin and has a spongy texture, distinguishing it from the otherwise smooth vaginal wall. Many women have difficulty in finding it, and some cannot find it at all.

The G spot is usually very sensitive and is capable of hardening and swelling. When pressure is applied to it, it can stimulate the need to urinate, and it might be the organ responsible for female ejaculation. One theory for the existence of this phenomenon is that during childbirth the head of the child pushes on the G spot, triggering the ejaculation, which lubricates the birth canal and helps with the final phase of birth.

Many people still maintain that the G spot doesn’t exist, or that it doesn’t contribute to orgasms in women. Others, meanwhile, claimed that it is part of the clitoris, the nerves of which penetrate deep below the surface.

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For all you men out there you can no longer deny the G spot’s existence or that you can’t to find it. The teachers from E.U.T.U. have spent countless hours and endless searching to find that magical spot, to map its location, and to supply that information to you. So guys, get off your ass and get out there and find that most important of female erogenous zones and don’t stop until you’ve been successful or you die trying.

These lessons will continue into many interesting areas that we at E.U.T.U. have been diligently researching.  They will be published as soon as possible after being received in order to keep you up to speed.  Your very welcome!

CLASS DISMISSED

01-11-2013   Leave a comment

I received this test from a friend recently but wasn’t completely happy with the way it was formatted. I added a number of questions and kept the number of answer choices to just four instead of the five or six in the original version. Do you consider yourself a true “Baby Boomer”?  Here’s your chance to prove it. Get a paper and pencil handy to record your answers because if you’re a true “Boomer” you won’t be able to remember them anyway.  Here are 25  relatively easy questions which you should be able to answer and which the younger generations  may have some difficulty with.   And no cheating!

1. What’s the quicker picker-upper?

A. Maxwell House Coffee

B. Bounty paper towels

C. United Airlines

D. None of the above.

2. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?

A. Flintstone vitamins

B. Wonder Bread

C. Milk

D. Cod Liver Oil3. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was…

A. Sugar Ray Robinson

B. Rudolph Valentino

C. Fabian

D. Cassius Clay

 

4. Look ma….. No cavities! A. Pepsodent

A. Pepsodent

B. Crest

C. Ipana

D. Johnson’s Tooth Powder

5. Pogo, the comic strip character said, ‘We have met the enemy and…..

A. It’s you.

B. He is us.

C. He’s really me and you.

D. He surrendered.

 

6. Good night, David . . .

A. Good night, Chet 

B. Good night, Irene

C. Good night, Gracie

D. Good night, Steve

 

7. You’ll wonder where the yellow went…

A. When you use Tide.

B. When you clean your tub. 

C. If you buy a soft water tank. 

D. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.

 

8. Before he was the Skipper’s Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie’s friend…

A. Randy Goodman

B. Steve Reeves…

C. Maynard G. Krebs.

D. Corky B. Dorkus 

9. Sometimes you feel like a nut — sometimes you don’t.

A. Snickers

B. Milky Way

C. Almond Joy & Mounds

D. $1000 Dollar Bar

 

10. Liar, liar…

A. On the wire.

B. Jump up higher.

C. Pants on fire.

D. Join the choir

11. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle

for truth, justice and….

A. Lois Lane.

B. World peace.

C. Red tights.

D. The American way.

 

12. Hey kids! What time is it?

A. It’s time for Yogi Bear

B. It’s Howdy Doody Time

C. It’s time for Romper Room

D. The Mighty Mouse Hour

 

13. Lions and tigers and bears..! …

A. Oh, no

B. Gee whiz

C. I’m scared

D. Oh my

14. It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!

A. Old Spice

B. Chiffon Margarine

C. Vitalis Hair Tonic

D. Top Brass

15. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone…. 

A. Over 40.

B. Wearing a uniform.

C. Over 30.

D. You don’t know.

16. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women’s pantyhose…  

A. Kenny Stabler

B. Joe Namath

C. Roger Staubach

D. Steve Young

 

17. Brylcream… 

A. Smear it on.

B. Tame that cowlick.

C. It’s a dream.

D. A little dab’ll do ya.

 

18. Where’s the beef?

A. Burger King

B. McDonalds

C. Jack in the Box

D. Wendy’s

19. I found my thrill…

A. In Blueberry muffins.

B. Down at the mill.

C. With a man named Bill.

D. On Blueberry Hill.

 

20. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by…

A. Mary Martin.

B. Doris Day.

C. Errol Flynn.

D. Sally Fields.

 

21.  Name the Beatles…

A. John, Steve, George, Ringo

B. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo

C. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo

D. John, Paul, George, Ringo

 

22. I wonder, wonder, who.

A. Was it you? 

B. Who wrote the book of love? 

C. Who I am? 

D. Really loved you. 

 

23. I’m strong to the finish…

A. Cause I eats my broccoli. 

B. Cause I eats me spinach.  

C. And don’t you forget it. 

D. Cause Olive Oyl loves me. 

 

24. When it’s least expected, you’re elected, you’re the star today.

A. Smile, you’re on Star Search.  

B. Smile, we’re watching you. 

C. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.  

D. Smile, you’re on TV.

 

25. What do M & M’s do?

A. Make your tummy happy.

B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket.. 

C. Melt your heart. 

D. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand. 

 

Well, how do you think you did?  I’ll post all of the answers in the next day or so and you can check your scores.  Not to brag but I answered correct on all but one question on my first try so I’m now an officially verified “Boomer”. Have fun with it. 

Posted January 12, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Useless Crap

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