After another week of computer problems, calls to software companies, and idiot non-English speaking customer service representatives, I finally have an 75% operational computer system. I’ve always loved working with computers but I came close this week to taking a sledge hammer to the whole damn setup. After I did that I would put a truly evil curse on every software company that has turned their customer service over to AI’s. I count my blessings that I can even complete this blog today but I will try. How about some meaningless sports trivia?
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MISSPELLED CUP
The Stanley Cup has two typos engraved on it. “BQSTON BRUINS, TORONTO MAPLE LEAES” and a number of misspelled players names as well.
The Olympics have been hosted by multiple countries that no longer exist: West Germany, Yugoslavia, and the USSR.
There is a minor league baseball team called the Montgomery Biscuits with a logo of a biscuit with bulging eyes and butter for a tongue.
A wok isn’t just a cooking implement but can also be a sled. So says the Wok World Championship group. Teams of players in modified woks race down bobsled tracks.
During the 1903 MLB season, pitcher Ed Doheny won 16 games and was then committed to an asylum for the “criminally Insane” where he remained for the rest of his life.
CAL RIPKEN
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Pete Rose was banned from baseball by MLB Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti.
Between 1982 and 1998 (16 years) Cal Ripken Jr. never missed a single Baltimore Orioles game.
Legend has it that Hall of Fame baseball player Wade Boggs once drank 107 beers in one day while traveling with the team.
NFL safety, Ronnie Lott, broke his pinky finger during a game. To avoid leaving the game he directed the team doctor to cut it off.
MLB Manager Alvin Dark once said, “There’ll be a man on the moon before pitcher, Gaylord Perry, ever hits a home run. Perry hit his first home run less than an hour after Neil Armstrong said his famous words.
I’m a huge fan of baseball primarily because I played it for so many years. It’s the best! However, I will continue to poke the baseball bear in the eye whenever possible. The game is sacred to me, but the individual players are not. So, let’s have a little fun today.
“Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a Communist.” Alvin Dark, New York Giants Infielder
“Even Napoleon had his Watergate.” Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
“Folks, this is perfect weather for today’s game. Not a breath of air.” Curt Gowdy, sports commentator
“All I said was that the trades were stupid and dumb, and they took that and blew it all out of proportion.” Ron Davis, Minnesota Twins pitcher
“I am throwing twice as hard as I ever did. It’s just not getting there as fast.” Lefty Gomez, New York Yankee pitcher
“I prefer fast foods.” Infielder Rocky Bridges, when asked why he wouldn’t eat snails
“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” Tug McGraw, National League pitcher, when asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf
“Raise the urinals.” Darrel Chaney, Atlanta Braves infielder, on how to keep the Braves on their toes
“Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.” Pedro Guerrero, National League player
“I lost it in the sun.” Billy Loes, Brooklyn Dodger pitcher after fumbling a grounder
I’ve been a lover of baseball since the age of six. I’ve played in the LL Minor Leagues, LL Major Leagues, Pony League, Senior Little League, High School (4 years), and American Legion ball. I figure that gives me the right to have a little fun at the expense of some of my favorite players. I remain respectful of these men, but I still think some of the things they say in front of the microphone are hysterically funny. Here are a few . . .
“Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a Communist” Alvin Dark, NY Giant infielder.
“If Jesus were on the field, he’d be pitching inside and breaking up double plays. He’d be high-fiving the other guys.” Tim Burke, Montreal Expos pitcher.
“I am throwing twice as hard as I ever did. It’s just not getting there as fast.” Lefty Gomez, NY Yankee pitcher.
“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” Tug Mcgraw, NL pitcher, when asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.
“The doctors x-rayed by head and found nothing.” Dizzy Dean, NL pitcher, after being beaned in the 1934 World Series.
“I was the worst hitter ever. I never even broke a bat until last year when I was backing out of the garage.” Left Gomez, NY Yankee pitcher.
“Well, that kind of puts a damper on even a Yankee win.” Phil Rizzuto, Yankee broadcaster, upon hearing that Pope Paul had died.
“His (Dwight Gooden’s) reputation preceded him before he got here.” Don Mattingly, NY Yankee infielder.
“It would take some of the lust off the All-Star game.” Pete Rose, REDS infielder when asked about inter-league play.
“I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.” Andre Dawson, Cubs outfielder on being a role model.
No, I haven’t forgotten about quotes and sayings by Yogi Berra. I would have to write a short novel to include all of his silliness. I’ll post something on Yogi eventually but it’s hard to choose just ten out of the hundreds available. LOL
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