Archive for the ‘fun’ Tag

***Limerick💗Alert***   1 comment

There was a young lady named Jo

Who was serviced four times in a row;

When she cried: “Give me more!”

A weak voice from the floor

Protested: “I just can’t, it’s too sore.”

Posted November 15, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Kill Me, I'm Begging You, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

Tagged with , , ,

11/14/2021 Trivia Day   Leave a comment

Today is Sunday, a day to relax and enjoy some trivia. It’s also necessary for me to help celebrate a family birthday, so I too can relax and enjoy this little bit of sunshine we’re having. It won’t be long before the snow flies. Enjoy . . .

  • A Crocodiles tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth.
  • A group of larks is called an exaltation.
  • A kangaroo can’t jump unless its tail is touching the ground.
  • A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
  • A man had the hiccups for 69 years.
  • A millipede has 4 legs on each segment of it’s body.
  • A mole can dig over 250 feet of tunnel in a single night.
  • A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.
  • A noisy restaurant is 100,000 times as loud as a watch ticking. Rock Concert 1,000,000,000 times as loud. Loud headphones 10,000,000,000. Shotgun blast 1,000,000,000,000
  • A person at rest generates as much heat as a 100watt light bulb
  • A group of owls is called a parliament.
  • A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
  • A quarter of Russia is covered by forest.
  • A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
  • A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
  • A rhinoceros’ horn is made of compacted hair.
  • A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee
  • A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.
  • A group of ravens is called a murder.
  • A shark can grow a new set of teeth in a week
  • A silicon chip a quarter inch square has the capacity of the orignal 1949 ENIAC computer, which occupied a city block.
  • A sizable oak tree, during the typical growing season, gives off 28,000 gallons of moisture.
  • A snail can have about 25,000 teeth
  • A group of toads is called a knot.
  • About 300 million cells die in your body every minute.

HAVE A RELAXING SUNDAY

11/10/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

In the street, a big lady from Fareham,

Would take out her tits to compare’em;

She explained: As I’m blessed

With great mounds on my chest,

it’s a bit of a shame not to share’em.

Posted November 10, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Kill Me, I'm Begging You, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

Tagged with , , ,

11/08/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

A woman who lived in St. Paul,

Had breasts undeniably small;

Her husband growled: “Dear,

Why not burn your brassiere?

It’s fulfilling no function at all!”

11/06/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

I met a lewd nude in Bermuda,

Who thought she was shrewd, I was shrewder;

She considered it crude

To be wooed in the nude –

I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.

11/17/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a young fellow, from Florida,

Who liked a friends wife, so he borrowed her;

When they jumped into bed,

He cried: “God! Strike me dead!

This isn’t a vagina – it’s a corridor!”

Posted November 3, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

Tagged with , , ,

11/02/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   5 comments

There was a young lady named Jo,

Whose lover had pulled out too slow;

So they tried it all night,

Till he got it just right –

Well, practice makes perfect you know!

***Limerick💗Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a nurse anxious to score

With such style she was hard to ignore.

There’s one way she likes

But it gave me the frights,

But still I came back for more.

Posted October 31, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

Tagged with , , ,

10/29/2021 ***Limerick 💗Alert***   1 comment

Said Miss Vero, at one of her bars:

“Sex is more fun in bed than in cars.

You feel more at ease,

Your ass doesn’t freeze,

And no one can see all my scars.

10/28/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was an old fellow named Bill,

Who swallowed an atomic pill;

His navel corroded,

His asshole exploded,

And they found both his nuts in Brazil.