Archive for the ‘PG rated’ Tag

šŸŒ²Christmas LimerickšŸŒ²   Leave a comment

Christmas Eve the night of all nights.

Flying around delivering toys a delight.

It certainly helps when the flask from the elves,

Helps Santa sleep better at night.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

12/15/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

A remarkable race are the Persians:
They embrace such peculiar diversions;
They make love all day
In the usual way,
And save, till the nights, their perversions.

šŸŒ²Christmas LimerickšŸŒ²   Leave a comment

With the holidays on the horizon,

I placed 20 calls to Verizon.

They stuck me on hold

Til my dinner got cold.

And I still absolutely despise them.

11/21/2021 ***1st X-Mas Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

The drinks left for him by each bed,

Had gone straight to old Santa’s head;

He was found off the road,

With an upside-down load,

And himself slumped, dead drunk, in his sled!

Posted November 21, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Kill Me, I'm Begging You, Limericks

Tagged with , ,

10/28/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was an old fellow named Bill,

Who swallowed an atomic pill;

His navel corroded,

His asshole exploded,

And they found both his nuts in Brazil.

10/26/2021 ***LimerickšŸ’—Alert***   2 comments

Many years ago a girl I once knew,

Was in desperate need of a screw.

Not too hard to find, someone who is kind,

And would bang her till she was black and blue.

But who??

10/15/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a young stud from Missouri

Who screwed with astonishing fury,

Till taken to court

For his vigorous sport,

And condemned by a poorly hung jury.

10/13/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

“I cannot be bothered with drawers,”

Insists one of our better-known whores;

“There isn’t much doubt

I do better without

In conducting my everyday chores.”

10/11/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a young man from Siam,

Who said:” I go in with a wham!

But I soon lose my starch, like the mad month of March,

And the lion comes out like a lamb.”

10/09/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   2 comments

A notorious harlot named Hearst

In the pleasures of men is well-versed;

Reads the sign at the head

Of her well-rumpled bed:

“The customer always comes first”.

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